jenna
Novice Poster
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Post by jenna on Aug 11, 2005 14:56:50 GMT 1
VBM, with all due respect, that's rubbish.
Men are not like horses. If my filly legged it up the road to be with a nice looking colt, of course I wouldn't blame her. If my bloke strays, then I WOULD blame HIM!
If he strayed - no matter how long we are together - I would find it extremely hard to forgive him, and he'd have to work damned hard to prove himself again.
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lovelylace
Grand Prix Poster
Always remember to ride with your soul, not your hands.
Posts: 4,541
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Post by lovelylace on Aug 11, 2005 15:00:16 GMT 1
you must feel abit sad, but it could just have been a mistake and a on off, chill and think through it for a bit... I am not saying it is right but sometimes it is understandable...like Oscar Wilde said "I can resist everything but temptation"....
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debbieg
Intermediate Poster
It's not a problem, it's a challenge...
Posts: 227
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Post by debbieg on Aug 11, 2005 15:17:56 GMT 1
Hi OP Well well I think there must be something in the air! I caught my OH in another girls house after not coming home! Two weeks ago! I know exactly how you feel and devastated doesn't quite cover it does it!! He lied and lied saying that nothing had happened but I did some detective work and yes indeed it had. I am due to have our baby in two weeks and am not looking forward to it one bit. He has gone and seems to be having a whale of a time partying etc whilst I am left to deal with the aftermath! But hey ho such is life eh? I would try and make it work with him if he wants to but I would go with him to relate counselling to get everything sorted in both of your heads. I wish you all the very best.. Life is crap at the moment but we'll survive one way or another xx Chin up
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Post by bhpride on Aug 11, 2005 15:44:03 GMT 1
vbm you're mad, this is her husband not a horse!!
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Post by icicle on Aug 11, 2005 16:43:05 GMT 1
Veebs, you do make me laugh with you "cat amongst the pigeons" approach to life!!
You don't honestly truly believe what you wrote, do you??
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pip
Grand Prix Poster
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Post by pip on Aug 11, 2005 17:25:18 GMT 1
OP, I would agree with lovelylace - just chill a bit. Find out why and if so is there anything you can do as a couple to improve things, and then leave the subject alone. Good marriages have carried on with far worse things than this.
But the girl who is expecting a baby and hub is playing away. Words fail me. Can you get you father and brother to sort him out?
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blue
Novice Poster
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Post by blue on Aug 11, 2005 17:27:03 GMT 1
Well, I can see your points, and if he is telling the truth, maybe it is not such a terminal disaster, although it was very deceiptful. However, I am never going to know the truth, the whole truth etc and he is bound to minimise whatever happened as much as possible. I suppose it is easy to get carried away when a good friend likes you so much, and it is hard 'always' being married sometimes.
I did trust him implicitly, and this has gone now, in a weird way he seems a bit like a stranger. The dust has started to settle, and he has promised it will never happen again. I suppose this is like when my mare went nuts and bucked me off, took me a good two years before I felt 100% safe on her, actually make that 99%. I suppose things like this are why they write that 'for worse' clause into the ceremony.
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blue
Novice Poster
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Post by blue on Aug 11, 2005 17:30:23 GMT 1
Crikey Debbie, I'd not noticed page 2 and your post when I replied, poor, poor you, words do fail me.
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lovelylace
Grand Prix Poster
Always remember to ride with your soul, not your hands.
Posts: 4,541
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Post by lovelylace on Aug 11, 2005 17:36:43 GMT 1
Debbie- gosh you seem like yore stronger than most....good luck with stuff and I am sure what ever you decide it will be for the best...
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beki
Elementary Poster
to my horse, I thank him greatly for all he has taught me.......
Posts: 90
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Post by beki on Aug 12, 2005 3:32:04 GMT 1
Got to admit I found out about my husband having an affair years ago ( 10 I think) and I found out in the worst possible way ( naked in her shower). We split up for a while, I ended up taking him back coz I felt sorry for him ( he had lost everything)(yeah Iwas a mug). But got to admit I wish I never had, I know that affair went much further and he has been good as gold since, but I will never ever forgot how he betrayed my trust and nearly destroyed me. Even now I wish he would just leave, before anyone says I know I'm a chicken and should just ask him to go, its my choice not to at the mo. OP good luck I hope it works out for you.
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debbieg
Intermediate Poster
It's not a problem, it's a challenge...
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Post by debbieg on Aug 12, 2005 10:16:23 GMT 1
Don't be fooled I am just going through day to day motions I'm not really here anymore (if you catch my drift)
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Post by trallwmfarm sanctuary on Aug 12, 2005 10:49:36 GMT 1
He hasnt actually been unfaithfull has he ? He was simply tempted by someone that betrayed his and your trust.If she was a real friend then she wouldnt have done it would she ? so it sounds like she isnt worth worrying about.The world is full of cheap women and partner material is a whole different issue. Look on it that she has done you a favour because you are now talking about YOUR relationship and improving it. Meanwhile she has lost the chance of trust and friendship.
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Post by trallwmfarm sanctuary on Aug 12, 2005 10:57:54 GMT 1
Just read yours to Debbie G.
Sadly its very common for men to stray when a womans pregnant. At the end of the day they are just men and women run the important bit of the world anyway. No doubt when he has finished being weak and selfish he will be begging to come home but you will never view him with respect or trust again. If it were me I would want to just scrape him and her off my boots. What sort of person is she to knowingly do this ? Think off her future children...Its women like this you read about in the Sun. Hold your head up,he doesnt deserve you or the baby.In fact I would point out you may not want him near in case his influence effects your childs well being and moral code. If you need any help Debbie you only have to ask.
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jenna
Novice Poster
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Post by jenna on Aug 12, 2005 11:06:51 GMT 1
Sadly, I agree with you Lesley, although recalling Debbie's posts on the "old" DG, her OH sounds more self-destructive than a simple cheat.
My husband cheated on me when I was seven months pregnant. I would have left him, but I had nowhere to go. The relationship limped on for a few more years (for the sake of the children) but it eventually died.
Best wishes to Debbie and OP. I hope things start to look up soon.
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debbieg
Intermediate Poster
It's not a problem, it's a challenge...
Posts: 227
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Post by debbieg on Aug 12, 2005 11:36:22 GMT 1
I'm not sure I knew him at all Jenna, he has completely wiped us from his life now won't reply to texts or answer calls he is having way too much fun leading the single life... apparently he's out every night....
I am thinking about packing in the shop and moving away.. It will mean bankruptcy for me but what else can I do?
If any one knows of any live in jobs going that don't mind a baby a lovely 8 yr old and a small dog then would you let me know? Thanks
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