Getting back on board

[vonny]

For years I have been trying to conquer my confidence issues. I did have a wonderfully sweet pony whom I managed to hack out on my own, never went far, but to me a major achievement! However sadly he had a tumour & had to be PTS. This was several years ago. I also have an extremely painful right shoulder & painful left arm which further hampers things, also had a car accident a few years ago further damaging my shoulder & leading to losing my job. I won't bore you but to bring you up to date I am now back to work part time & just about managing to cope with constant chronic pain. I have a new job & we have just moved. My current pony is fab but I have only managed to ride a few times. Found a good yard (only moved a couple weeks ago) full livery. I am contemplating getting back on board I know she is good to ride as previous yard wanted to keep her for their riding school Where do I start? Lessons, hypnotherapy or just bite the bullet? Help!! The yard is mainly dressage horses & the YO is quite straight talking & she teaches. My pony is small compared to the others & I do not feel confident at all!!!

[lizpurlo]

Hi vonny - I'm sorry you've had such a tough time and are having to live with chronic pain - that's so wearing and disheartening. It's great that you have a nice pony and a good yard, which is a brilliant start - and I would suggest that you just take all the pressure off yourself to do things which worry you and have some fun doing other things with her instead. Maybe work through all the groundwork exercises in Kelly's 'Perfect Manners' book, and do some leading out in hand, and explore Horse Agility which is getting increasingly popular. And you may well find that one day you start thinking that you really WANT to get back on board again, that you've built such a great bond with her that you know that riding her is just going to be another way of enjoying this lovely bond you have, and not frightening at all.

It's terribly easy to feel intimidated by apparently experienced people and large dressage horses, but I bet half of them have confidence issues as well (though they'd much rather not admit it) and quite possibly envy you your lovely pony. It honestly doesn't matter a jot what the others think, you can give yourself permission to enjoy being the eccentric lady who takes her pony for walks and does daft things like walk her over tarpaulins and so forth!

Have fun, and keep us posted. xx

[lesleyking1]

Hi, completely agree with Lizpurlo.

I've had my mare 18 months and have stuck it out on a very showy yard, loads of experts (they think). I bet you will see these people struggle with their horses because they are dragged around and trodden on or dumped regularly in the school because their ways are best and 'its always the horse!

I have spent months on foundation exercises and worked with my local RA and now have an ex-racer that is beautifully mannered. I spend hours on the ground work and she is so nimble its fascinating what I can get her to do, we've been so busy I haven't had time to ride anyway. she is becoming so bonded with me and the trust that's now building is so rewarding, I'm sure at some point we will get back to riding, until then I'm more than happy to be the yard idiot with the racehorse and I tell them so.

Just another point make a mental note of how often the experts actually ride, there is a few on my yard that turn up every day all kitted out and don't actually get on because of this and that, I don't think they even realise they have lost their nerve, in fact I add up all the 10-15 minutes I've jumped on after ground work and it mounts up to hours, when some of the beautiful show horses haven't had anyone on their backs for months.

Best of luck, stick to your instincts and have loads of fun. (the experts also seem to struggle with the fun bit)

[vonny]

I eventually went to see a hypnotherapist who understand confidence issues with horses (she rides) & also discovered how wrong I was about the yard! YO has been incredibly helpful & excellent with my lack of confidence! She gave me a lesson at the weekend. I managed to trot around the indoor school, ride around the yard& in the large outdoor dressage arena in the wind. I had hoped to just get on board & nothing else. Never judge a book by its cover

[bevnfurryfriends]

Well done Vonny, that's great news. I've often wondered about hypnotherapy, do you think that helped?

[sarahbing]

Jun 22, 2013 17:53:36 GMT 1 lizpurlo said:

Hi vonny - I'm sorry you've had such a tough time and are having to live with chronic pain - that's so wearing and disheartening. It's great that you have a nice pony and a good yard, which is a brilliant start - and I would suggest that you just take all the pressure off yourself to do things which worry you and have some fun doing other things with her instead. Maybe work through all the groundwork exercises in Kelly's 'Perfect Manners' book, and do some leading out in hand, and explore Horse Agility which is getting increasingly popular. And you may well find that one day you start thinking that you really WANT to get back on board again, that you've built such a great bond with her that you know that riding her is just going to be another way of enjoying this lovely bond you have, and not frightening at all.

It's terribly easy to feel intimidated by apparently experienced people and large dressage horses, but I bet half of them have confidence issues as well (though they'd much rather not admit it) and quite possibly envy you your lovely pony. It honestly doesn't matter a jot what the others think, you can give yourself permission to enjoy being the eccentric lady who takes her pony for walks and does daft things like walk her over tarpaulins and so forth!

Have fun, and keep us posted. xx

Spot on Liz

[lizpurlo]

Vonny, that's such good news, so pleased that you've made great progress and that your YO is so helpful. Wishing you and your pony many happy rides to come.

[lesleyking1]

That's great progress, must be wonderful riding round. So carry on ignoring the experts and keep YO on side and future looks good. How's the pain with your riding?

[vonny]

Pain not good at the moment Lesley. Very frustrating. YO rode my pony as I couldn't have my lesson & pony was very naughty & bucked her off which I have never known her to do before so a bit worried & it's knocked my confidence too worse luck! Think hypnotherapy helped.

[nomdeac]

Well done Vonny. I agree with Lizpurlo, keep doing the foundation exercises so you build a bond with your horse and have lots of fun. I won't say it's worked for me but it does seem to be working so far. Sorry you've had your confidence knocked but your doing amazingly well and your pony might not want to buck YOU off. Take care Catherine

[vonny]

My husband said the same to me that my pony likes me riding her & will probably not buck me off it doesn't help that I haven't been able to get to the yard much this week!

[lizpurlo]

Vonny, that's tough, I'm sorry. I'd agree with your husband and nomdeac, - often ponies don't appreciate being ridden by 'experts' who expect them to go in an outline, and behave accordingly.

I do hope you're mending, and able to get up to the yard again. xx

[lesleyking1]

Hi, I wouldn't get on Scarlet at all without my saddle strap and my friend spent years riding with one of those Rstor things, in fact I'm going to borrow that too. I always thought that these things where cheating but now I've moved onto more excitable types I realise how much more confidence I have with them. Don't worry about YO I'm sure she bounced well, lol

[vonny]

Funnily enough I have been googling the RS-tor & quite like the idea! All helps with the confidence I guess. YO has ridden my pony again with no problems so I guess it was a blip. Now my shoulder/ arm is getting a bit better I will be able to get om board again

[lesleyking1]

Might be worth thinking a bit more about why he bucked YO off, if you're not asking much of him because of confidence (I don't ask anything of my TB lol) might be some underlying fitness issue, BUT DONT LET THIS WORRY YOU! he might want some bringing back into work, bit like your confidence; build slowly, do you do any long lining or if you are going to do anything in canter etc. lunge him first to see if he will give any issues without you on bored, (easy on the amount of time spent lunging; I'm not a great fan on lunging as a big part of an exercise routine, especially if he does show some stiffness, long lining is so much more constructive) With the foundation exercises I find I can find stiff places on Scarlet by bending her neck around and up and down (good to use treats so they have to find them between their legs without stepping) or disengaging the hind by moving backs round the fronts, Scarlet had a massive issue with this and when the back man came he found she was stiff all the way down the girth line on one side so he showed me how to massage this out.


If this helps you might find it useful to start a new thread on fitness building in the general section as there are many others that would know more than me.