Caroline
Grand Prix Poster
Intermediate Poster
Posts: 2,277
|
Post by Caroline on Dec 31, 2010 1:45:37 GMT 1
I have said so many ridiculous things, I can hardly pick one! This makes me giggle though...
My proud mother was showing me off to the Mother Superior of the convent school she was enrolling me in (presumably aged 4ish).
Mum: Who's Jesus's mother? Caroline: Captain Pugwash!
At that point, I think Mum prayed for one of those convenient holes to open up in the ground and swallow us both up!
Ironic that I ended up a Revd!
|
|
magicmisty
Advanced Poster
A real big Devill!
Posts: 461
|
Post by magicmisty on Dec 31, 2010 3:10:45 GMT 1
I thought the cat that chased jerry is called sylvester when i was filming for the weakest link think thats got to be the daftest thing ive said all year lol
|
|
|
Post by wabuska on Dec 31, 2010 11:06:43 GMT 1
Me to OH..... 'I really appreciate that you love me enough to pick my poo.'
|
|
|
Post by julz on Dec 31, 2010 11:13:24 GMT 1
ROFL Kanga..... one day when you're old and senile.. he may well have too
|
|
|
Post by mrsmills on Dec 31, 2010 11:30:56 GMT 1
When my aunt was very little she was given the job of feeding the multi-coloured chickens, but as she was throwing the feed down one sneaked up behind her and pecked her bottom. When she later told her father what had happened he asked whether she knew which chicken had pecked her. She answered "no daddy, I didn't see her face!"
|
|
joflo
Olympic Poster
Sporadic poster (fomerly CleeJo/JoA)
Posts: 659
|
Post by joflo on Dec 31, 2010 11:56:12 GMT 1
I'm still laughing at 'snaffle snatch'.......hope I never have a horse afflicted with that When I used to be a yard manager I organised a competitive 'fun day' in the attempt to engage/educate a few of the younger girls. I handed out schedules and the first class of the day was 'Best Turned Out'. Bemused as two of them promptly scuttled off to poo pick their paddock (it needed it). Transpires they recognised it would never win the 'Best Turn Out' class otherwise........
|
|
|
Post by gwenoakes on Dec 31, 2010 12:32:21 GMT 1
Lol @ Jen. He turned out to be a helicopter technician in the British Army.... not a bottle of milk in sight ?! hiya its jen, he still went onto deal with things that float though
|
|
|
Post by happysnail on Dec 31, 2010 12:54:28 GMT 1
My friend's new section D stallion arrived early in the year (January) when the snow was rather heavy in the highlands. (6 foot snow drift tunnels where roads had been ploughed). He was pretty skinny so getting lots of tlc, supplement feeding and a stallion build up mix. Come March there was still more snow than I've seen in my life and no signs of a melt. My friend and I are both science geeks so we were animatedly discussing how good the stallion was looking, photoperiod (daylight), nutrition and hormone cycles in breeding. We had all the horses together, giving them a good grooming and detangling manes and tails and having a chuckle at the train spotter at the station by the field. Trains go through the station rather than stopping as it is rather remote and it was really cold. Anyway the horses were enjoying the attention and were really soft eyed, floppy lipped and relaxed. Whether it was the beauty of the snowy winter day, the magic of the cowboy shine detangler, or the train pulling into the station, but the stally was having a bit of a flirt with one of the mares he was going to be covering in spring. Much to our surprise, she didn't say "no thank you" and we gave a demonstration to everyone in the station (on the one journey when the train stops) of in-hand covering. The train spotter's face was a picture and there was quite a lot of pointing from the train. We hadn't figured in quite the impact of the station lights being on from dusk to dawn!
|
|
Tuppence
No Longer Posts on the DG
Posts: 727
|
Post by Tuppence on Dec 31, 2010 13:06:45 GMT 1
My parents took my girls out for the day aged about 6 and 8. They went round a National Trust property which was a ruined Abbey. It was very quiet and the guide mentioned something about 'antiquities' Daughter number 1 pipes up, into the silence " You and Grandad are antique lovers aren't you Granny"
Cue much interested turning of heads from the Americans and many titters..
|
|
|
Post by Lesley from Kent (Floydsmum) on Jan 1, 2011 12:47:02 GMT 1
I once asked why birds don't get electrocuted when they sit on power lines ......... until someone pointed out that (a) they were in fact telephone cables and (b) even if they were power lines they're well insulated ........
|
|
Gingersmum
Advanced Poster
Life is sweet
Posts: 281
|
Post by Gingersmum on Jan 1, 2011 20:56:00 GMT 1
Somebody once told me about her horse owning daughter, who apparently was very dedicated to her horses and had their rugs specially imported. Oh, from where ? I asked . . . "New Zealand"
|
|
|
Post by anastasia55555 on Jan 1, 2011 21:02:29 GMT 1
Haha!
|
|
|
Post by mrsfields on Jan 2, 2011 0:51:19 GMT 1
i felt so stupid a little while back - was talking to a French lady, here in France, standing next to her little grey Welshie, and i said to her "is she a B?" in French, with "B" pronounced "Bay" which is also the pronunciation for the colour bay in French as well, and she just gives me the weirdest look and says to me in French "er, no she's grey", at which point i think "what on earth is she talking about?" and changed the subject
the penny didn't drop until me and my daughter were sitting in the car afterwards and my clever daughter pointed out exactly what had gone on and i nearly died of embarrassment but just couldn't go back and explain!! LOL
i felt like running back and saying i CAN tell a "bay" from a "grey" you know but the moment had well and truly passed hahaha she must've thought i was a right dimwit LOL ;D
|
|
|
Post by mrsfields on Jan 2, 2011 1:02:43 GMT 1
another one, non-horsey - my English father-in-law was visiting Paris, doesn't speak any French, and a man comes up to him out of the blue and says to him in really dodgy French "parlez vous anglais?" and my father-in-law replies really apologetically in equally dodgy French "non, je ne parle pas francais" and they both sort of smile and shrug apologetically at each other and walk off in different directions, and then a minute later the penny drops and he realises the guy was actually English and asking him if he spoke English haha that one's always tickled me hehe
|
|
l17
Olympic Poster
Fizzy boy!
Posts: 695
|
Post by l17 on Jan 2, 2011 20:46:29 GMT 1
My best one to date as a teacher was teaching children about world war 2. I was telling them about amphibious vehicles used during d-day. To explain I talked about amphibians and how they can live in and out of water. I thought they had understood until a few weeks later a little girl put her hand up and said, 'in that battle, why were the French frogs fighting the German frogs?' Oops!
|
|