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Post by marigold on Dec 15, 2005 16:02:27 GMT 1
I am having sleepless nights about what to do with my mare, and wanted to see if talking about it with you people would help....... On Saturday we went out for a hack, started to trot and she started broncing about, I fell on my head, knocked nyself unconscious, scared the hell out my boyfriend (thank god he was there!) and got airlifted to hospital. Spent the night in a ward off A&E with a load of nutters from a completely mad man to various people having their stomachs pumped (nice noise!). Anyway horse is unscathed if a little wary of me - I think she knows the reason I am hobbling around is cos of her. SO here is my problem, I am so scared to get back on her, I trusted her not to do anything stupid before as she does tend to go nutty letting off steam loose schooling, but she always behaves when I ask her and she has never done that before. I am also a soppy cow and she is such a sweet girl and I would hate for her to end up with someone bossing her around continually, but she does need some kind of schooling obviously. I'm just not a good enough rider for her. Do I keep her as a pet?! She'll get fat and lazy, but do horses care about being worked etc?? Do I loan her to someone clever who can ride? This obviously gives me the option of seeing what they are like and one day having her back if they no longer want her, or selling her to them once I'm convinced they adore her enough? Help!! I am all upset and in a flap about what to do with her
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Leanne
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Where you lie, my heart lies also.
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Post by Leanne on Dec 15, 2005 16:07:55 GMT 1
I've got to say she looks a beautiful horse in the photo. Sounds like you had a very nasty fall. Sorry I don't know much details of your history. Have you had her back and tack checked? How old is she? Is she being overfed? Perhaps lunging her might help with the excess energy.
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Leanne
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Where you lie, my heart lies also.
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Post by Leanne on Dec 15, 2005 16:08:32 GMT 1
I don't think most horses would mine being a pet. Mine loves that sort of life and being spoilt.
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Post by gordo on Dec 15, 2005 16:08:38 GMT 1
Oh mate, can't offer you any advice as I am in a similar predicament but just wanted to say I'm glad you are ok. Damn nerves are a pain in the butt!!
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Post by marigold on Dec 15, 2005 16:16:11 GMT 1
Leanne, forgot those details!! Her back is fine, checked by an osteopath regularly and shiatsu'd by moi, she has a new treeless saddle which she is very relaxed in, a bitless bridle, she is gadget free! She is possibly being fed a little too much and definately not exercised enough, damn these dark nights. I have cut back her food recently due to not riding. The food she has is mainly fibre though, she has Simple Systems Luciecobs, double handful of Speedibeet, Total Eclipse and carrots, does this sound like too much? She is 10 and quite green, but never anything I couldn't handle before, like people say 'nothing nasty', usually when she doesn't like stuff she doesn't look at it! SHe has never reacted in this way before. Gordo, we sound like a sad pair at the moment, why do we bother with these horses?! Thanks for your thoughts though
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Post by amelia on Dec 15, 2005 16:28:52 GMT 1
Hi marigold,
I've been there too, fortunately we found out that sunny's issues were pain related so at least i understood why she did what she did, but it still took me almost 3 years to get my trust in her (and her trust in me) totally restored.
It depends how much you enjoy riding, if you really would like to continue riding her then you could maybe have some lessons from someone who specialises in restoring confidence. If you're not too bothered about the riding side of things then i'm sure your horse wouldn't mind being a pet, after all horses may enjoy being ridden but it's not a natural thing for them to do so i'm sure she'll cope without it. The only thing to watch out for is if you ever have to sell her you may be hard pushed to find a good home who would take an older horse who hasn't done very much.
Goodluck with everything x
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emmab
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Post by emmab on Dec 15, 2005 16:31:28 GMT 1
hi marigold, what a horrible situation for you, if it was me i think i'd look into loaning option. sounds like she could do with (a like minded) person who has the confidence and time to put into her, that way you still have a say over everything that happens to her and like you said, can have her back later on if you wanted. if you did that, maybe in the meantime have some lessons on a schoolmaster to re-build your confidence so that if/when she does come back to you, you'll be more prepared, and hopefully she'll be more experienced, which would then be perfect. also, as you mentioned, if after a time the loaners wanted to buy (and you decided to sell) then at least you'd be selling to someone who you know will do right by her. my sister struggles with her nerves too but with lots of lessons, support and positive thinking exercises (difficult to imagine at this stage i know) you can get through it. theres some good books that could help too, Real Riding by Perry Wood is brilliant and bex has recently bought a book called 'Simple Steps to Riding Success: Feel the Power of Positive Riding' which she's finding really helpful (got it for £5 on amazon - bargain!). good luck
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Post by Louise C on Dec 15, 2005 16:37:56 GMT 1
Ouch, sorry to hear about your fall. I recently had a fall off Flynn, and it does really shake you, especially if you hurt yourself and make you doubt yourself and your abilities. With Flynn, the more I ride him the better he is, he has been out more since and gets better and better, although I am having a new saddle as well as his is not fitting as well as it should, nothing too bad, but he is a hyper horse anyway so don't need any more excuses!
I think you need to give yourself time to think about what has happened and see if you can work out why it did, and go from there.
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pip
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Post by pip on Dec 15, 2005 16:46:39 GMT 1
Why don't you just stop riding in the winter and cut her food right back to maintenance, then when the evenings start to get longer, at the end of February, start with some long reining/lunging gently to introduce work again (keep the feed the same) and don't actually get riding until you know you can ride her every day for a bit (obviously not too much too soon or you will have girth galls and saddle sores!). Horse's behaviour improves immensley with work!
Don't give up yet, she has always been good so far. I bet you are in shock and injured, look after yourself, she didn't mean to hurt you, she was probably a bit fresh.
I know several people who simply never ride in the winter and having given my horse 2 weeks off I wonder what he is going to be like when I get back on!
Riding and owning a horse is supposed to be a pleasure, don't make it stressful. I am sure she would love to be a pet - perhaps you could do some ground work with her and teach her things off the ground at the weekends in winter, then you will be working with her, but not ON her. There are lots of exercises to do in the Linda Tellington-Jones books and I expect other people can add some too. Take the pressure away from your self and enjoy her. Oh, and if you do start riding her again in the spring don't forget the magnesium when the grass starts growing! I hope you soon feel better.
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Post by bhpride on Dec 15, 2005 16:53:46 GMT 1
I'd of thought time off would make it easier, if they are fresh/hyper they won't have the fitness to keep going and can be worked through it until they behave lol if you know what I mean. Saying that I've only really rode cobs so I don't know much about other breeds and what difference it can make.
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Post by julz on Dec 15, 2005 16:57:02 GMT 1
Marigold, so sorry to hear of your accident, and glad you are ok. Do you know of anyone who has a quiet horse for you to sit on? I relise that it's probably YOUR horse you are nervous of getting back on, but if you are showing signs of fear, then natually your horse will pick up on it, and behave accordingly. So to sit on someone elses horse will give you back a little confidence. Also until you feel ready to get on her again, perhaps some lunging and ground work will build up your bond, and trust in each other. Can you get someone to share her perhaps? that way she can be excersized, by two people and maybe she'll settle down. I can't comment on the feed as i'm not familiar with the Simple Systems feed, but it sounds like she just needs a bit more riding, and with the dark nights and the lack of an indoor school/outdoor menage this is difficult (sorry i don't know if you have either of these.) Do you know anyone who'd be willing to ride her for a couple weeks until you sort yourself out, and recover from your fall? Failing this, if you were to go to the loan option, you could advertise as a Loan with view to buy, say over 2-3 months or so, then you could keep an eye on her, and if you're satisfied, then sell, if not take her back, by which time you maybe ready to take her on again. But whether or not you get on her again, you need to get on another horse so you don't lose your confidence in horses at all. x
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Post by lucitania on Dec 15, 2005 17:06:52 GMT 1
OMG, you are lucky to be ok! You are a much braver person than me if you are thinking of getting back on after that! I would agree with julz and try and find a real plod to have some lessons or something, for the sake of your confidence. One the horses at the local riding school has come off working livery (working about 3 hours a day) and is now shared between two ladies. I doubt that he is getting anytwhere near the exercise he is used to, and this well behaved confidence giver is turning a bit bright indeed! I wonder if your mare needs her food cut down significantly, together with a lot more exercise? Ho w about lunging her first, before riding? I am glad you are ok, though, as the accident sounds pretty serious. Nobody can blame you if don't feel like getting on her again. Mind you, she is not in season, is she? Or has she got fluctuationg hormonal levels that might make her a bit stroppy occasionally? The loan with a view to buy sounds like a good option to me too, (if you can't get back on her) but be careful to be honest about the mare's behaviour. You can end up in trouble if you sold her as "good as gold" and then she did this. (But I am sure you won't , anyway) . Someone I know sold a very difficult horse, and it was actually written down and signed by both parties that the buyer understands the issues this horse has. Just thought I would point it out.
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Post by marigold on Dec 15, 2005 17:36:15 GMT 1
I do have the offer of 2 calm horses to ride, and one comes with a lesson too , so will do that when I can, can't even drive at the moment. She IS in season at the moment and it does send her a bit loopy, do others not ride their horses when they are in season? I just didn't realise I guess, a) that she was in season and b) that it was a valid excuse not to ride her As everybody says, she is much better when ridden every day and being such a calm horse generally ( out of the sandschool before someone I know reads this and says 'Meka calm?!!') I thought she'd be OK. Dur! She can live on air being a fat cob, so I will cut back her food to just the lucie cobs and total eclipse I think, what do others do when they aren't riding? Feel such an idiot now I rode her in season and probably hyper from too much food
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natalia
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Post by natalia on Dec 15, 2005 18:15:50 GMT 1
NO, you should be able to ride any mare in season, unless they are really really really bad and in the company of stallions. Just be aware she will be alittle more switched on and hormonal. Like a woman with PMT. it sounds like she just got over excited and needs more work. If I was in your shoes I would pay an instructor to school her and maybe hack her for a couple of weeks to see what shes like and make sure shes calm. If you don't have enough time to ride then maybe get a sharer? I think that it sounds like a one off, and you will regret it if you sell, you may not have your confidence now but Im sure she didn't mean to get you offand will get better with more exercise.
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Post by sandalfarm on Dec 15, 2005 22:21:03 GMT 1
I didnt ride Sophie when she was in season until I got to know how to handle her. She was terrible, very scarey. Probably like women, there are those who are terrible with their periods and those who suffer a little and others who dont have any effect. Remember that some women have murdered someone and put it down to PMT!
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