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Post by sandy on Dec 18, 2005 21:02:03 GMT 1
Hi hebs, Yes Hypnotherapy really worked for me. However the understanding I have is that it will enable you to take control of your fears and put them in perspective (sp).BUT If you really think that something is dangerous or there are real grounds for your fear (i.e you want to jump out of a plane without a parachute) hypnotherapy cannot convince you that it is safe. I still have fears of hacking out on the roads and when the hypnotherapist approached this aspect of my fear she got negative results and I even felt myself becoming uneasy whilst in the relaxed state. If that makes sense. All that said as soon as I've got some pennies saved I'm going for another session - it helped me so much!
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hebs
Intermediate Poster
Posts: 242
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Post by hebs on Dec 18, 2005 21:22:24 GMT 1
Thanks Sandy, I dont fancy "going under" though. I have heard about NLP which is about reprogramming the brain and is similar to Sports Therapy? or something like that only problem is that costs money.
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Post by Francis Burton on Dec 18, 2005 21:38:05 GMT 1
For some reason, I have always been totally fearless and confident with horses on the ground (and quite possibly under bellies too, if I went there! ) - but riding is something of a foreign land for me. I can get by fine, I suppose, and have enjoyed jumping too. Falling off no longer has any of the mystic dread that it used to, after the first time. Still - it's hard to put into words - even after all the hundreds of lessons and hacks and riding club fun, I still have a bit of a "fish out of water" feeling. Maybe a touch of vertigo, as mellymoo suggested. On the ground, however, is as comfortable as can be. I feel really alive when I'm around horses. If anything "hairy" happens, I tend to relax even more rather than getting tensed up and nervous. Weird, eh?
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Post by wildrover on Dec 18, 2005 22:21:51 GMT 1
The interesting thing is why people lose confidence. Some lose it because of a bad experience - which is self explanatory. However some lose it without ever having a bad experience! Still others have bad experiences and think nothing of it - then years later lose the confidence on a minor issue.
What is the worst experience? Many people fall off but that does not seem to bother them as much ( assuming there was no serious injuries sustained ) as bucking, rearing, bolting?
The biggest problem with confidence is how one bad experience, however short, can erase many hundreds of hours or years of good experience. Thats the bit that seems so unfair .... or is just that people deal with the bad experience in the wrong way?
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Post by smudge on Dec 18, 2005 22:30:52 GMT 1
Bolting is my biggest fear - its different from feeling a bit out of control on a strong horse - a true bolt is terrifying. The fact that you could end up on a road, through a fence - anywhere - complete loss of control is the thing that really gets me the most. I had a nasty experience with it and it put me off riding for 5 years - having ridden for most of my life. OK, if I get bucked off or reared with I am likely just to end up on the ground - but a bolt.....
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Post by Liz on Dec 18, 2005 22:41:36 GMT 1
I was once a confident rider but since a very serious illness 9 years ago, my confidence has evaporated until it is fairly non-existent! The root of the problem is that I know that if I had to ride a horse through a problem, I would not have the stamina to cope for very long. It is a loss of control thing which has affected aspects of my life other than riding but that is the area that has been most affected. I am finding it extraordinarily difficult to regain my confidence despite getting a horse more suited to my current state of health. I did build up to going out on hacks but have had to stop again due to a couple of minor operations. Not good to have another gap in my riding!
It drives me mad that umpteen falls, some very nasty, from horses over the years did not make me lose confidence but an unfortunate illness managed to do it very well!
I have tried NLP to no effect but would try another hypnotherapist - the one I saw did not fill me with confidence so I guess the outcome would be affected by that!
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Post by Yann on Dec 18, 2005 22:50:09 GMT 1
I have to say I've never really suffered with confidence issues, however I've never really had any bad incidents or accidents *touch wood*. That's not to say I'm fearless or over confident because I'm not, I do know my limits and at the end of the day I need to be able to go out and earn a living. It helps having a reliable horse, one that can even cope with sudden gusts of wind and small fluttering leaves without flight instinct kicking in
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Post by sandalfarm on Dec 18, 2005 22:54:01 GMT 1
Its bolting for me too...especially if I am on a road or near a road. Falling off doesnt worry me yet but then I've never broken anything when Ive fallen off. I might change if I did.
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Post by andalusian01 on Dec 18, 2005 22:57:11 GMT 1
I'm not boasting.... but I would say I'm pretty confident. I think this is because I have been tested so much with backing my youngster this year that I have experienced the worst bits e.g napping, rearing up and falling sideways, rearing over backwards, bucking in canter when I rode out in a dually, lent backwards slightly and horse shot forward like a rocket, etc etc. I think it's because whatever happens when I ride him, I know that he is a baby and isn't a nasty horse so is just acting on instinct. He is four in March and I aim to show him as much as possible whilst he is young (no matter how many times I fall off) and when he matures he will be a lovely allrounder
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Post by circusdancer on Dec 18, 2005 23:18:59 GMT 1
It is the most natural thing in the world to lose your confidence from time to time. It could be a buck, rear, a fall, a horse taking off or an incident with a discourteous driver on the road. It could also easily be something that happened on the ground. The only way to overcome the confidence problem is to tackle it head on.
Riding through a wood at canter, AJ suddenly flipped his lid (he could have been stung or bitten by something who knows) and took off hell for leather bucking like a maniac. I ended up hanging onto his mane halfway down his nearside with my left foot still in the stirrup. It was like a stunt from a cowboy film!
Somebody was looking after me that day and I still don't know how I managed to flip myself back up and pull him up or how I managed to end up with blood pouring out of my mouth! Anyway, when he calmed down, I was absolutely terrified but I knew if I didn't canter him again before we got home, I would probably never get on again.
It would have been so easy to get off and walk at the calm point but this is where I had to work through the confidence barrier. Because of health issues and on vets advice, I had no option but to ride AJ every day. It had to be done and we had to work through whatever the elements and everything else threw at us.
I miss AJ because he was a stroppy, opinionated fella that did what he wanted sometimes but he taught me a lot about confidence.
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Post by scaredycat on Dec 18, 2005 23:41:20 GMT 1
I'd always considered myself as a fairly experienced rider who, whilst not over confident, would tackle most things without worrying. I really enjoy a nice long hack with lots of canters and popping the odd log. However, my confidence has been eroded by my latest horse. Whilst I wouldn't say he's nasty, he's napped, span in the road, bucked and the thing that had the most impact on my nerves, he tanked off with me along a bridle path not long after I had him. I suppose its just the thought of having no control and not knowing whats round the next corner (literally as well as metaphorically). Ironically, when he does play up, esp out on a hack, i'm more worried abou whether he;s going to hurt himself or get run over!
The stupid thing is, when I was younger, my pony would regularly decide that he wasn't going to stop when I asked him to and it didn't really bother me.
Confidence is a strange thing, a bit like trust. Its very easily taken away but its very hard to get it back.
Strangely, my friend is really nervous, so much so that she won't go faster than a trot. I find that when I'm around her, I'm more nervous and feel more negative than when I'm around my sharer who is a lot more confident. Just demonstrates that horses must feel the same way around a nervous rider?
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Post by jennyb on Dec 19, 2005 7:24:17 GMT 1
I have lost my confidence in the past to the point where I wouldn't canter out on hacks. Not sure how I got it back really, just time and trying to be brave I suppose! I would say I'm confident now, but not to the extent where I will do silly things like knowingly get on a horse which throws people off, or hack out on my own on a windy day - I'd rather have a quiet life! I think my confidence comes from the fact that I don't often get unseated, and I can handle my horse's drama queen moments quite well!
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Post by Ryan&Dizzy on Dec 19, 2005 14:32:30 GMT 1
circusdancer i think uve got it!!! due to health issues and ont the back mans advice weve had quite a bit of time wen otto has been out of work (now being one of them!) and wen ive got back on ive completely fallen apart i think that if i had just got on and ridden everyday ill b ok but fait has it!
on the what is the scaryist thing...falling off and being parted from your horse! i dont mind bolting theres only so far your horse can go theres always something you can stear into ect and although falling off hurts and can be embarrassing you get over it..BUT if you fall off and your horse carries on thats what scares me. we saw a horse hit by a car last year after its had thrown its owner and bolted. wen i came off at the begining of the year i was on a road and lost my reins as i fell my horse stayed with me but was behind me and i couldnt see him (i could move) and it terrified me! my sisters horse which i rode occasionlly once ran off up the road (had a leading issue) after i had dismounted to help some1 that had fallen off and it took us aages to catch him and i could get the vision of the accident i had seen before out of my head!
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laylaw
Intermediate Poster
Posts: 152
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Post by laylaw on Dec 19, 2005 14:51:55 GMT 1
Hi, i have just read this. I posted a message about confidence, fears etc on a post by marigold titled What to do.
If anyone would like help or have questions after reading this p.m. me.
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Post by horselady on Dec 19, 2005 15:17:43 GMT 1
I have had several accidents, that have put me in hospital, and it is these that have left me nervous, 2 nearly killed me, even been bolted off with, bucked off, kicked in the face, knocked out twice,I often ask myself why do I bother. It is my love of horses that keeps me going, they are my life. My new mare really jumps extremely suddenly if spooked, but not a bad bone in her body, and Im on the floor before I know she has jumped, and she will stand and wait for me, never gone off anywhere. I recon all us nervous riders need a good instructor, but I have to have a nice kind understanding one, and I feel you have to click with that instructor.
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