Riding Confidence Debate

[stef]

I lost mine completely with poppy, after i had a bad fall, i went to jelly just at the thought of riding her again! But after a couple of weeks of not riding her I decided to get some help, after just one lesson with my instructor, katherine, we were back on track and showjumping again! *Thank you katherine!*

[tammy68]

Many people seem to lose confidence as they get older. This has happened to me too. When I used to ride as a child and teenager I had no fear at all, I envisaged success at every jump and if I saw someone having problems then I was the first to want to get on board and school through it. Today, however, it is a different story. I imagine the horse is going to stop or fall over a fence or that I am going to misjudge the stride. If a horse is badly napping I see the danger of him rearing and going over or just slipping and falling down.

The strange thing is that the falls I had when younger I seemed to escape from unharmed (apart from the time I fell off on a metal fence and my eyebrows swelled up causing my friend to laugh at me as I looked like a gorilla she said) and never looked back. Now I see danger everywhere, not so much with other people riding, but more with myself. I think I have lost the confidence in my own ability (and agility too I suppose as I am bigger and heavier now so falls hurt more).

Plus, it didn't help being bolted with when riding a horse for a friend. She asked me to try her horse around a fun ride, which I did. Her husband came with me on his horse and after going over a jump the horse I was on just got faster and faster. I eventually managed to stop 2 fields later, having galloped through set aside which was very overgrown. When I returned to the lorry where my alleged friend was waiting I suggested she change the bit for fun rides and cross country as I had been unable to stop. She said then that the mare was usually ridden in a Dr Bristol but she had changed it that day for me to try her as she wanted to see how she went in an ordinary snaffle!

I tried hypnosis but it doesn't seem to have worked at all. I think it is more dangerous when riding after losing confidence as I now tend to ride a little with the handbrake on just in case and I have lost my PMA (positive mental attitude). I rode for Nick Budgen at one time and he was overly brave - I must have been too as he really rated me. I can remember riding a pony with a dirty stop. She was very forward going but would stop at the last minute. I just kicked her on (even when she was bombing) and she never stopped with me. We went clear X country and had the fastest time of the day! We didn't win though as we did most of the dressage test sideways! ;D

Gosh, I do wish I could get my confidence back again!

[lovelylace]

I am never nervous of riding a horse, i am aware that you can come off, of course and I have had very bad accidents, but I have to much fun riding to worry about things like that. I have worked with reschooling and backing young and "problem" horses back home and probably come off more than most, I have also evented back home but love it...I have often got up on a completely unknown horse and hunted them a whole day , with hedges ditches etc...it takes you a few minutes to just get to know each other but thats part of the fun..love getting to know new horses..But that doesent make me a irresponsible rider...there are hoprses that are more nervous themselves and it would be stupid to try to push something like that and you just end up in trouble..you have to judge each horse and each situation on it own merits.

[mandal]

Bolting is my greatest fear. I live on a main road and so hack via a track UP behind my home. Coming home is scary as it's down quite a hill.
I was so pleased to read in Monty's book that you should walk the last part home to avoid 'Barn sour' and rushing for home! Mine don't do either of these but at least I can justify getting off and walking down the hill!!
By the way the main road is at the bottom of the hill and even though we've put gates up I'm still scared of the horse bolting down it!
I'm also scared of going fast downhill in a car!!!!!!!!!!

[carrie]

Two friends of mine were both fearless as kids, I could never understand it!! Now they both say they think about the consequences far more so won't do the crazy things they used to anymore. But isn't that life in general?
Further to my earlier post, I decided to pop a few jumps on the strong horse today and loved it!! I knew I just had to get on with it and do it, so I did! It's so empowering when you do something you're nervous of.
As for what is the scariest thing..... well true bolting is pretty terrifying but after my boy going vertical with me the other day, planting me on a fence, I'd say that! I just thought' oh s**t, he's coming down with me, there goes my pelvis'!!!
Think it's more a thing for me about the fact I'm self employed. I NEED to work to survive. If I even break an ankle I'm stuffed. I can handle the pain!!

[gordo]

I have never been a really confident rider, maybe the lack of lessons may be the reason! Ridden all sorts - point to pointers, polo ponies, hunters and have always been aware of the fear side so here I am at 34 STILL stressing over the stupid things that may never happen. I have a huge but 'safe' horse but I still have the constant 'what ifs' and it really stops riding being fun. I don't do it in my car which can be very dangerous so why waste my free time worrying over my hobby??? I so wish I could just let these feeling disappear and enjoy my horse!!

[JJ-Spain]

I think I am an over confident rider although I did lose some confidence with my old horse because I had taken so many tumbles from him, looking back now I realise that we just didn't suit and we would get into stupid 'arguments' just for the sake of it and neither of us would back down until one of us was extreme! I came off my stallion on saturday, he reared up and stepped off the edge of the hill and I thought he was going to come over backwards on top of me so I slipped off and tumbled down the edge less than gracefully, what disturbed me most was a complete lack of adrenalin, nothing! I only sprained my finger but still....? I ride in very mountainous country and think nothing of sliding down a hill with my head on the horses quarters and the horse on its hocks so maybe you can become accustomed to scary situtions.

[circusdancer]

Otto, you and me think alike. My biggest fear is not the falling off and being injured but where my horse might end up.

My sister was cantering downhill and coming to a sharp bend at the bottom, fell off! Pride legged it and ended up on a very busy main road. A lovely lady with cream coloured upholstery hauled my very muddy sister into her pristine car to chase after him. Someone had managed to stop him at a motorway bridge but we couldn't believe how lucky we were that he wasn't killed or had caused a serious accident! That sort of experience never goes away. Maybe that is what gave me the strength to hang onto AJ as well as I did!

As for getting off and walking a short way home. It is a really good time to chill out with your horse and I've found it very rewarding. Even grumpy AJ was quite affectionate! Everybody should try it - it's quality time!

[gordo]

What a wimp I am, hubby off and insisiting I ride. I am looking for any excuse NOT to! What is wrong with me?? Can't bear the pathetic emotions I feel and I am so cross with myself as I know, once we are out, he will be fine buts its just getting that far seems like too much of an effort! Not fair on Gordo!

[Ryan&Dizzy]

gordo...i no how you feel im off college for 2 weeks and feel physiclly sick at the thought of riding! i love riding once im on board its just getting there! i feel dreadful and sooo sorry for my poor boy!

[sunnylynn11]

I have always struggled with my confidence but some days are better than others. I am most confident when riding on my own with the radio to listen to, but because Zico has been nappy a couple of times whilst riding when he has seen other horses (esp if they are trotting or cantering) I get really tense, I try deep breaths, singing etc but I cant help it, which of course makes Zico worse. Zico never does really bad bucks or anything, just jumps about on the spot, does mini rears & jog trots but I worry that he is surely capable of so much more. Having said that I do ride most days and am not worried about doing so, which I suppose makes me pretty confident and I havent even had him a year yet and after being without my own pony for nearly 8 years I was a bit out of practise. I hope that my confidence levels will grow enough for me to actually laugh when he naps and be totally relaxed about the whole thing.

[sandy]

I posted earlier but just had to add todays wimpish behaviour! I took my mare over the fields for a hack. It was a lovely quiet morning but the fields I ride in run alongside the fields that the herd of 24 are grazing in at the moment. One pony was turned out to join the herd and galloped across three fields to them. I watched him virtually all the way and wondered what my mare would do. She was fairly calm - so we carried on. Then suddenly about 10 out of the herd decided to gallop and 'hooley' around the field and along the fence next to where I was riding. I thought 'Mmmm I've got to cook Christmas dinner and if I come off cos shes decided to join in - I'll be in trouble again!' So I jumped off pretty sharpish feeling a complete wimp. When the herd had calmed down I got back on and off we went. Felt a bit of a twit but I have to remember that in April this year my nerves were so bad I couldn't actually ride anywhere except for at a walk in the school! It always seems to un nerve me a bit when she calls to the herd - shes never done anything other than call but it puts me on edge! I'll just have to sing even louder and then I won't hear her !!!

[circusdancer]

Sandy, that did make me chuckle about the horses doing a 'hooley' and you worrying about cooking dinner! ;D

Whatever gets you through without knocking your confidence again is worth trying. Well done for getting back on again - it must have took some guts!

[nimrod]

threads like this make me feel better! i'm not alone! my mare can be sharp, but she's not a bolter, spooks but stops. if i fall off on a hack she stops and waits. to be honest we are both wimps which is where we come apart. i can deal with her napping, one semi rear and she scares herself and does what shes told, but jumping... (excluding xcountry rides where we are brave!) she waits for me to drive her...i wait for her to inspire me with confidence and we both chicken out! road work is great, but when i am coming up to a canter stretch i feel my legs turn to jelly! i just wish i could get my head round jumping over 2ft 6in. nlp helps, but only if i conciously do it! once i am on board my determination helps. also, i need regular lessons as if i am told what to do i do it! but i don't have an instructor at the moment.

also, i too worry about where my horse will end up. my friend rode her when i was pregnant and she spooked at a loud motor bike, my friend fell off and she bolted up the road (unharmed). but i feel safer in wide open spaces than a small school, fear of going through a fence etc. but its crazy, i regularly drive my car at 100 miles per hour which i am sure is much more dangerous. all in the mind!!!!!!!!

[wildrover]

There are two themes going through here - one with people having no cofidence while on board and the other seems to be lack of confidence 'thinking' about riding but OK while on board. The latter would seem to be the easiest one to fix - get the thinking right before riding and hey presto ....

Confidence is free - you cant make it or bake it. Its a pity therefore, that the absence of this ingredient spoils the enjoyment and pleasure of riding. There has to be ways for people to regain that lost confidence, even if only slowly but surely. What are the best ways for people to do this?

Tammy and others have mentioned previous achievements with horses and riding skills, but now that confidence has been lost or 'temporarily misplaced', those skills and abiliities have also been lost.

The point is though, the skills and abilities have NOT been lost - only the confidence to do so.