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Post by wildrover on Dec 18, 2005 14:31:01 GMT 1
Confidence is something that keeps cropping up when riding horses.... though I'm sure this has been discussed many times previously, an update might be good.
Who's got it? Who's lost it? Who got it back? Who's looking for it again? Are those who seem confident really confident? Can you be over confident? Why do we lose it? When to recognise we are losing it? What to do about it to stop the slide?
Confidence resides in that space between our ears ........ or not.......
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Post by smudge on Dec 18, 2005 14:41:55 GMT 1
I constantly struggle with my confidence. I have always been healthily nervous of riding, but I was bolted with badly a few years back and the fear of heading in no particular direction very fast on top of a strong flight animal doesn't really appeal So, I bought myself a very sane, safe lad. He's no beauty contest winner, but he is safe and well mannered and I love him. He is one of 6 horses I own (3 of which I ride - the others are pets LOL). The other 2 are mares and more, um, opinionated. When I'm brave I ride them (they never put a foot wrong, but there is more of a degree of wilfullness that sometimes I like and sometimes I don't!) but mostly I ride Josh. He can be naughty, is spooky - but he looks after me He has given me my confidence back after it was shattered for years. Its a constant fight with my nerves though - and the more I ride the better I am. If I don't ride, I start to make excuses not to again...
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dawnb
Olympic Poster
What a handsome boy I am, pity bout the scarecrow on top!!
Posts: 735
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Post by dawnb on Dec 18, 2005 15:00:58 GMT 1
Im very much like you smudge, If I dont ride I start making excuses as to why I cant ride. I was fine up until a few weeks ago when my lad did a bronco session and buggered off with me, then all the feelings of being out of control came flooding back as I too had been properly bolted with a few years ago now (not with same horse) It took me a while this time to get back on, then we had a sucession of bad rides where Roche was really testing me out. I havent ridden now for about 3 weeks but that is truely down to my own personal circumstances but I will get back on soon. I am a nervous rider which winds me up as before the 1st incident I'd do anything, now Im happy if I can get round the block unscathed! Roche is by nature a very forgiving horse, very kind and usually a safe sensible ride so I must tell myself that all the time and when he did do a bunk the other week it was for a reason as his back was out so there was a good reason for it, yet now it is if I am honest still at the back of my mind which is no doubt why the rides subsequent to him bucking and running off have been not good for me
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berylsmum
Grand Prix Poster
My Baby
Posts: 1,712
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Post by berylsmum on Dec 18, 2005 17:31:37 GMT 1
I am a very nervous rider. I lost my confidence slowly because my pony (Beryl) is rather nervous and needs confidence from her rider. She has never done anything really awful, she has taken off with me quite a few times when something has spooked her etc. My confidence has slowly been eroded away into nothing. I decided to get a sharer for Beryl and have found a wonderful 13yr girl who has oddles of confidence and they get on well together. So I bought Gydja to help me regain my confidence. She is wonderful and sensible and I have been getting on really well with her. I have now got to the point where I can tolt her in open fields (before I wouldn't even walk unless it was enclosed). Sadly progress has been halted for a while because I have had a toe op, but hopefully when I get back in the saddle we can carry on where we left off. I don't think I am ever going to be a really brave gung-ho sort of rider but if I can get back to wandering around the countryside happily I will be over the moon.
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Post by mags on Dec 18, 2005 17:55:30 GMT 1
Re 'those that seem really confident'
Lots of people seem to thing im brave and confident when it comes to horses but in reality im the biggest wimp ever. I manage to ride difficult horses because I control my nerves not because im brave. And I think thats the case with an awful lot of people- just because someone doesnt look nervous doesnt mean there not.
Unfortunately i i dont manage to control my nerves jumping though but then on the flat im slightly nervous but jumping im terrified to the point of shaking
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cubic
Grand Prix Poster
Posts: 2,286
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Post by cubic on Dec 18, 2005 18:17:03 GMT 1
I'm like Mags in that I can control my nerves. I don't get nervous doing every day riding, even on horses who others might consider unsafe, but I get really nervous when I'm competiting on a team. I ride for Britain in student riding competitions and most of the showjumping is way beyond what I've ever done before, and we have to do it on unfamilliar horses with just 5mins and 2 practice jumps before jumping a round of 1m20+ jumps - now that makes me really nervous, I just try not to show it, as at that level everyone else seems to know what they are doing and I don't want to look a numpty by admitting I don't have a clue what I'm doing and am sh*tting my pants!
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Post by mellymoo on Dec 18, 2005 18:20:20 GMT 1
I remember the days when I would jump on anything, the more difficult the better, but then thoughts of mortality crept in and i am a coward! My boy is not the bravest either, which doesn't help, so we have made eachother worse! I haven't ridden him for nearly four months now, but I have been advised to do groundwork until he goes for rescholoing next spring. I am fine on the ground, just on horseback - vertigo?!!!
I'm sure we'll both get there though. I have days when I worry about getting into my car, so I have to give myself a talking to on occasion!!!!
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carrie
Elementary Poster
Posts: 77
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Post by carrie on Dec 18, 2005 18:33:12 GMT 1
I consider myself a nervous but capable rider and always will. The thing is, I can now conquer my nerves enough to get on and enjoy riding. I've always been nervous, previously I was really bad, my first horse was the only horse I'd get on (I learnt on him before we bought him!). I didn't jump big or anything adventurous. I then did my BHS stages, fell off alot in training for them but passed 1st time by some miracle! After that, my old boy retired so i had time out of riding regularly. He then died and I brought my current little bugger, Rupert. Now he first appeared to be laid back but has since proven to be 'quite a character'. He's done everything to me, bucked, spun round, reared, the whole lot! but I tell you what, my seat has improved so much as has my confidence! The people I kepp him with compete alot so they've been fantastic and encouraging to help me with my jumping. I've now done xc and sj competitions. I also ride her horses who I used to consider to be too much for me. I actually enjoy it now too! Yes I do still worry 'what if' and so won't undertake silly risks but basically I really love riding more than ever. I teach a bit too, I tend to attract nervous riders (think I understand them!) I believe with the right support you can get through it
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Post by Ryan&Dizzy on Dec 18, 2005 18:35:18 GMT 1
ive had a really bad year this year with my nerves! i have always been a nervous ridder even as a child. i brought otto just over 2 yrs ago we had a shady patch to start with. we had a bit of a respect problem and he bolted and napped and did most things he could think of that meant he didnt do what i wanted to (but never willfully tried to get me off , just scare me!), which made me loose my nerve and almost sell him but we sorted it out in the end and from that day had been best of friends i trusted him with my life and i like to think he returned the justure! then after 2 years we brought another horse and not long after we got him he bolted and bucked me off on the roads, i was on my own and had to go to hospital in an ambulance(for the first time ever!) i suffered quite bad tissue damage to my lower back (ive still got bruising for last feb). this terrified me i didnt get back on that horse ever agen but i also couldnt mannage to get on otto! after about about a year i can now ride happily in the school and ride out on tracks if theres some1 with me but i still dont feel happy ridding on my own or out on roads! i dont no why and i miss ridding out so so so so much. like others have said it gets worse if ive not ridden for a while i come up with excuses not to ride and feel sick ect... and i think what makes it worse is that i really want to ride and feel so mean to my horse because i cant..which upsets me then i get angry! hopefully i will get back out on the roads but i think it could be a while before i ride on my own again!
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Post by Ryan&Dizzy on Dec 18, 2005 18:42:22 GMT 1
oh yer i cant get on any horse that takes a saddle any narrower than an extra wide because i dont feel safe! (lol thats my own little stupid bit!)
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Trouble
Grand Prix Poster
Posts: 2,263
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Post by Trouble on Dec 18, 2005 19:25:02 GMT 1
I used to be very brave, but then after and accident I lost all my nerve. In the last 12 months I have got back into riding again after a long spell off due to the accident and have gone from a real wimp to a nervous but able to grit teeth and do it anyway type of rider.
Well....for the most part anyway. I'm still a jumping wimp but I'm getting there. A recent setback has stopped me jumping altogether (through choice as don't want to jeopardise the nerve I have got for future)
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Post by fin on Dec 18, 2005 19:33:32 GMT 1
Lol, Otto! I've always thought narrow horses felt a bit unsafe too-there's nothing of them!
I haven't ridden for the last few months because the first thing we did with our new horse was take his shoes off. He has contracted heels, long toes, fat frogs, low heels...think of a hoof pathology and he's got it. He was perfectly sound while shod but to stay that way his feet need sorting out--he's very pottery without shoes, even in hoofboots it would be frankly cruel to ride him. SO we haven't ridden him. There are lots of other things to do with a horse than sit on him, after all. But what really psses me off is that almost everybody I know assumes that I haven't ridden him because I'm afraid to do so! I'm getting lots of knowing looks and winks and smirks and it's really getting on my nerves......if I was a nervous sort of bod I could understand it, but I'm not!!! No disrespects to you guys who have had confidence crises--once I've been bucked off and totally terrified with good reason I'll come and join you, but until then it does annoy me that most of the women I know think they can get one over on me by trying to make out I'm scared (while presumably they're not! Ha.)
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Post by sandy on Dec 18, 2005 20:09:24 GMT 1
Hi all, Well could I miss posting on this thread. No way - I think I'm a guru on nerves while riding. It seems like its the same scenario for most people. I had a horrid fall and another horse bolt with me. Then I got my wonderful little mare who has never put a foot wrong and one day when out hacking I simply had to get off. Suddenly my nerve had gone. All the bad things that had happened with other horses were so real in my head I just couldn't trust my horse. Anyway months of simply walking in the school followed - not daring to venture out. I read every book, listened to every CD. Had a wonderful instructor but felt sooo terrible. Out of sheer desperation I went to a hypnotherapist. That was the turning point. Very, very slowly I managed to venture out of the school and now I can go off on my own over the fields. Haven't managed to get back out on the roads yet but I've found very small steps and ride as often as possible is the way forward. I have to ride at least every other day otherwise the nerves take over again. Now when I ride I really enjoy myself - still have to struggle to keep the 'what ifs' out of my mind. I feel sad that I lost that lovely feeling of jumping on and not worrying - maybe it'll come back if I keep working at it. I sometimes wonder at 'horsey' people. What makes us carry on when we feel sick with nerves?
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hebs
Intermediate Poster
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Post by hebs on Dec 18, 2005 20:15:32 GMT 1
Im glad Im not the only one. I've had a horrible time with my horse in the last three years, have managed to get him calm out hacking and hacks really well on his own. But by god can he buck, which is why Im nervous. Does hypnotherapy work then? I had an accident this year when I broke my left wrist whilst at a show showjumping , jumped the last at the jumpoff and he just went for high heaven. Since then I've not been confident jumping. But thanks to my really patient instructor, its coming together now. She says hes a really sweet horse who takes the mickey and I've got to learn to ride him. Thing is I get nervous jumping but its my first love. Sounds crazy? I know. I had thought about NLP, but we're slowly sorting problems out with instructor so I'll keep to that.
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Post by smudge on Dec 18, 2005 21:00:44 GMT 1
Don't get me wrong, just because I am nervous doesn't mean I don't enjoy it - I love it! I had a session with a hypnotherapist - although I wasn't hypnotised he helped me by explaining how to try to consciously control my nerves. He explained that all the beating myself up in the world won't help with the nerves - because they relate to the part of my brain that is actually doing its job correctly in warning me that what I am about to do could end in a fall etc etc - basically "its dangerous!". He said I was wasting valuable energy trying to deny these concerns - better to acknowledge them and deal with them. So now I agree with myself - yes, its dangerous (but I have a very good horse), yes, he could buck (but he hasn't) yes, he could bolt (but he wouldn't and he has fab brakes!) and thats how I rationalise it to myself. I also discovered that my nerves were worse at the anticipation of riding - when I am on they 90% disappear. So I broke the habit of getting ready to ride and put my jods on earlier, then had a cup of tea and had a couple of hours before going to ride so the nerves settled a bit first. I tried not to ride at set times either and that broke the association. I sort of tried to catch myself by suprise when riding - ie not give myself time to look for the reasons not to ride
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