|
Post by ☼ WIZARD ☼ on Nov 26, 2010 23:37:19 GMT 1
well done
|
|
|
Post by gwenoakes on Nov 26, 2010 23:46:41 GMT 1
Did I tell you that the shop who has took six of my nappy cakes, has sold one? WHOOOP WHOOOP WHOOOP.
|
|
|
Post by aero on Nov 27, 2010 12:02:31 GMT 1
Yaaaay. I think thy're brilliant. Well done Gwennie
|
|
|
Post by ☺Smithy☺ on Nov 27, 2010 19:42:35 GMT 1
Well done Gwen........
|
|
|
Post by ☼ WIZARD ☼ on Nov 27, 2010 20:15:02 GMT 1
oh are you selling them?
|
|
|
Post by jamesb on Nov 28, 2010 17:52:23 GMT 1
A man walks into a bar. Sat at the bar is a beautiful blonde. Behind the bar is a television, showing the 9 o'clock news. The news is showing pictures of a man stood on a ledge.
The man sits next to the blonde, gestures at the TV and says "I bet you £20 he jumps."
The blonde replies, "Well, I'm not sure. I'll take your bet." They each place a £20 note on the bar.
The man on the news takes a swan dive off the building. The blonde turns to the man and says "I guess you were right. Here's your £20."
The man replies "Actually, I feel really guilty about taking your money. You see, I saw this on the 6 o'clock news so I knew he would jump."
The blonde responds by saying "I saw the 6 o'clock news as well. But there was no way he was going to jump twice!" ;D
|
|
|
Post by ☼ WIZARD ☼ on Nov 28, 2010 22:39:54 GMT 1
yawn, is this the best you can do bunting? try using the bb and look at gwennnnnnnnnnnies post 23rd november. thank you
|
|
|
Post by jamesb on Nov 28, 2010 22:54:32 GMT 1
Quite right, Wizard. Sorry about that. The problem is, most of my jokes are (a) not suitable for an open forum, and (b) definitely not suitable for a female audience!
|
|
|
Post by aero on Nov 29, 2010 16:14:34 GMT 1
A group of medical students were in a lecture on procedure for dealing with the death of a patient, or being called to pronounce a patent dead prior to leeting the relatives in to see them and say their goodbyes.
The professor taking the session noticed that one student in particular was very arrogant and making disparaging comments to his peers. He had the makings however of an excellent doctor so the Professor called him down to the front of the lecture theatre to be part of the practical element of the session.
He explained that sometimes patients still had full bowels after death and it was most distressing for the relatives if these evacuated whilst the relatives were at the bedside therefore it was something that needed to be checked so that they could be cleared if necessary.
"You need to perform this simple check" he said "Insert your finger into the rectum to examine it and then withdraw the finger and put it in your mouth and suck it.... like so" and he duly demonstrated. "Now your turn" and he stepped back gesturing the student to repeat the procedure
The student stood for a moment, then inserted his index finger as shown and then hesitating slightly he put it into his mouth... The professor then smiled and said... "The first and most important thing in being a good doctor is observation......... if you had been watching more carefully you would have noticed that it was my middle finger that I put in my mouth"
|
|
|
Post by ☺Smithy☺ on Nov 29, 2010 18:18:59 GMT 1
LOL Aero.
|
|
|
Post by ☺Smithy☺ on Nov 29, 2010 18:19:15 GMT 1
Hot Love
I will seek and find you. I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.
I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan. I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you. And when I am finished, you will be weak for days.
All my love,
The Flu
******
Now get your mind out of the gutter and go get your flu shot
|
|
|
Post by ☼ WIZARD ☼ on Nov 29, 2010 19:25:42 GMT 1
oo smithy lol good one aero
|
|
|
Post by aero on Nov 29, 2010 23:01:32 GMT 1
Good un Smithy
|
|
|
Post by gwenoakes on Dec 2, 2010 22:40:13 GMT 1
Is the Pope Catholic Wizard? Of course I am selling them LOL.
James, it wasnt £20 it was $20 too...................How could you pinch one of my very 'few' jokes..........sigh..........really!!
|
|
|
Post by ☼ WIZARD ☼ on Dec 2, 2010 22:49:59 GMT 1
how ungentlemanly of him gwennnnie. eh?
|
|