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Post by kya on Jan 1, 2007 16:16:28 GMT 1
I feel like I have slipped back about ten months having not been able to ride as regularly as before because of an injury to my arm. I mention this because I can't emphasise enough (from experiment base- Kya) that riding, riding and more riding is the only way to fight back at nerves. Once I stop for even a week, I'm back swilling Rescue Remedy. The extra ingredient in all this is my super-confident neighbour who is back on her horse after pregnancy and baying for me to join her on hacks. 'I wonder which of them will have to be out front' she says gleefully. I've done everything from 'his shoes are loose' to 'we're having afternoon nooky' (OH and me- don't get funny) to put her off. Now another woman has joined her on a huge showjumper. I'm just about cantering calmly by myself in the woods but the idea of this urgent posse whipping past my ears reduces me to jelly. Took Blue out this morning and he was spooking and napping all over the place. I had just read a Michael Peace book and gave him his head at all times, encouraging him through it. We met two vile dogs who ran around his heels for several hundred yards. He was fantastic. Still screwing my courage to the sticking place, I took a good fast trot in the lashing rain and we did some lateral work too, but OMG am I having to make an effort guys. Thanks for the sounding board as always.
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Post by wozzer on Jan 1, 2007 16:45:28 GMT 1
I'm with you on this kya. The only effective answer for me too is more riding, but that is exactly what's so hard to do when your confidence is flagging. I am so lucky to have recently met a new friend, who is less experienced than me (hope she won't mind me saying that), but I get to dictate the pace, where we go, etc and I am so busy "looking after" her, that I forget to be worried for myself. I've ridden every day now for nearly 10 days over xmas and it's been great ;D I know exactly what you mean about these fearless types and I, too, hate to hack out with them - it does nothing for your confidence and I feel quite foolish These individuals, luckily for them, don't seem to suffer with nerves so don't understand what we are worried about. I am also doubly lucky that some other people, from a livery nearby that Nikki knows, do understand that Nikki is new to riding out on the road, so said they will "tailor" a hack for us to go on next Sunday. Isn't that nice of them ;D (I haven't had to mention that I'm sometimes a jelly, feel a bit guilty about that!) The other thing is, I wonder if you could tell your neighbour, that you need a few quiet hacks (walk and trot only) for a little while, to help you build up your confidence - perhaps tell her that your horse has been playing you up a bit? If she's a true friend, she will understand and help you out. I do hope so. Good luck - be safe, ride in a place and at a pace that you're happy with and I do hope you start to enjoy yourself again soon. Where abouts are you - box yourself up here!! xx
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Post by Susan on Jan 1, 2007 16:45:31 GMT 1
Admitting the lack of confidence is the 1st step to getting there.! Well done you. I bet there isn't anyone here who hasn't suffered this at sometime or another.No matter how good a rider they are. We are all at different stages of riding and that next bigger step is still a bigger step to us all.Whether that be hacking out on our own, cantering for the 1st time, the dressage test or even jumping a fence to jumping the bigger fence. I have often posted on here how my change of direction of going the Mary Wanless route of riding saved me giving it all up. To some around me at that time believed I had taken a huge step backwards as they only saw me walking in the school.What they failed to acknowledge and see was what was really going on inside my body and my learning the have a secure seat and a true feel of the horse beneath me. Learning to have that gave me bucket of confidence.
Now for you, you have ridden out in lashing down rain and that is such a accomplishment many would shy from. What a brave ride to undertake! Dont be pushed to do what you dont feel comfortable with if that makes you really unhappy and forced out of your comfort zone. But I will say this is sometime takes you to go that step a little further to realise you can do it and live to tell the tale. It is a fine line sometimes, so pick the company you trust to ride out with and build on that. I recently went out with 2 fellow liveries and galloped Flynn out for the 1st time! Knowing inside I could control him ( in fact I was the only one with brakes! ) and the feeling it gave me was amazing.Imagine I have owned this horse since a 3year old I backed myself and he at rising 9 hadn't been galloped by me before! But if I dont do it often I suffer similar to you and go back to I cant do it and the what if! that I suffer inside. If you consider when we are training our horses we aim at making it in small steps that are achievable, take that same advice to your own riding. When it is set in concrete each step you have a good foundation to build on and if it slips a bit all that happens is you take step back to the step that is firm and build back up again. The biggest bit of advice I can also pass on is so simple and something we seem to forget is breathing. When we dont breath properly nether do our horses and we often give them a feeling of concern so if at any stage you have a slight hiccup think BREATHE and it helps so much. If ever when doing anything you feel out of breath and exhausted you will not have been breathing properly. You can then think Oh and realise the answer is there for you to use. Take that to your tool box and I bet that will also help you a lot.It has helped me considerably. I hope the little insights of into my world of handling it might go some way to help you. Again well done you.
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curly
Olympic Poster
Posts: 889
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Post by curly on Jan 1, 2007 17:07:15 GMT 1
I recently bought two books for background reading to help people with confidence issues. They are:
Ride with Confidence!: Practical and Inspirational Advice to Help You Deal with Your Fear and Enjoy Your Riding
Good luck anyway. Hope you sort it out.
Simple Steps to Riding Success: Feel the Power of Positive Riding sorry havent got authurs handy but both arenoff the popular mail-order south american river site!
Also, NLP is fabulous for people with anxiety and often works very quickly to change the way you feel and think about riding or other fears. Seeing a qualified practitioner is the (IMO) most effective way.
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Nessie
Intermediate Poster
IH Member
Posts: 169
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Post by Nessie on Jan 1, 2007 17:26:30 GMT 1
Well done for sticking with it when you felt so rotten. I find sighing helps - probably 'cause its a downwards sound. To paraphrase Mark Todd "any one who says they don't get nervous at times is either a fool or a liar"
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Post by gordo on Jan 1, 2007 17:28:39 GMT 1
Have you tried the Hacking with Confidence cd's as they really work
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Post by kya on Jan 1, 2007 17:47:05 GMT 1
I have Hacking with Confidence... thought I was through with it, but must did it back out tonight. Nessie, what a wonderful picture you make on your horse. Susan thanks for all that good advice. Even hearing good sense that is parked somewhere at the back of my brain helps enormously. I'll look up that book Simple Steps to Riding Success, Curly thank you so much. Wozzer, I know exactly what you mean and I have ridden other people's horses when they jumped off to buoy them up! Seems amazing now. Glad to have ridden and will do everything possible to carry on tomorrow. Kya X
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Post by sandy on Jan 1, 2007 17:47:13 GMT 1
Kya - I read your posts with interest and all I can say is 'Go girl' you are doing brilliantly! From a fellow nerves sufferer you are absolutely right about the ride, ride , ride theory. I ride nearly every day even if its only for 10 minutes cos if I left it for even a week I'd start having doubts. As for hacking out with people - be really careful. I am seriously careful who I hack with; where we go; what pace we go at! I have no problem with saying that I only want to walk if thats how I feel and I always say that if the other riders want to go faster than I'm happier with or on a route I don't like I just tell them why and say I'll leave the hack for another day. I actually like riding on my own because I can please myself and don't feel under any pressure. I can talk to Poppy and do what I like. Next step for me is to get Poppy hacking out on the roads without company. Thats the plan for 2007. But if it takes all of 2007 to go just around the little block than thats fine.. Go at your own pace Kya, don't risk losing what you have tried so hard to achieve. Good Luck for 2007
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Post by Ryan&Dizzy on Jan 1, 2007 18:07:23 GMT 1
im with you on the ridding as much as you can thing...i find even if i havent ridden for a few days i start trying to make excusses for why i cant possibly get back on him...mainly that i think he will kill me even tho he is a donkey! do what you want to do some days all i can bring myself to do is walk round in the school for 10 mins...and if it is thats what i do!
as im at college there are always people round when i ride so i often feel pressured to do more that i want to but ive started coming to terms with it now and iff ppl think im a wuss so be it!
my goal for 2007 is to get Otto out on his own at college, ive just about started hacking by myself at home ok now but because i dont know the hacks very well at college and he doesnt he is always more 'frisky' there so i havent dared ride on my own yet!
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