best advice for hacking out in traffic?

[milo]

i seem to have amental block when it comes to hacking out in traffic,ive got such a deep fear i cant bring myself to do it as much as i really want to,ive got a wonderfull horse and i can ride in any field no matter how big without fear,but alot of the rides i used to go on ive got to go along main roads and i cant do it,theres a lady up the road that offers to ride with me but i cant bring myself to,any advice and help greatly appreciated,i used to ride for miles along the roads without any fear,but we had a spooky mare which jumpoed out right infront of a car and it frightened me to death,ive also had my stirrups hit by a car,and a ladies horse got killed on the road about a mile from us and she was in awheelchair for 3 yrs,all excuses for me not to it,im now 39 and seem to have lost all my confidence.ive got someone else hacking him out for me when i want to do myself really,i'm embarrassed to admit it.

[kya]

One thing I do when hacking in traffic is to ask cars to slow if needed. I put out my arm with my schooling whip and give the slow down when they are way off. My horse's head is turned to the car and I am at a stop. I think ambling on, creates the idea (especially for the non-horsey) that a horse and a car can overtake safely. It needs to be made clear, this is an potentially unsafe moment, please co-operate. We do have quiet roads here, and so far I've only had one incident of abuse when a driver objected to being made stop when my companion's horse reared and I stopped on oncoming car to keep everyone safe... including that woman. Keep in touch with the Confidence board and I'm sure there are lots of tips to come.

[SarahW]

Hi Milo,

sometimes our fears are irrational and that makes them very hard to deal with but in your case, your fears are based on real life experiences. I don't know whether it helps to you to then accept the way you feel. It's a bit like driving really, you need to do everything you can to keep yourself safe and to try to encourage others to do the same. I am happy to admit that I just don't do main roads anymore. Providing you have plenty of places to ride without going on main roads then give yourself a break and don't do it. There are too many people saying "no limits" these days and making people feel inadequate if they don't want to bunjee jump off a bridge or skydive every Sunday. I think it's great to "Know your limits" and just stretch them occasionally.

Hope the cows are all well,

Sarah
x

P.s. I love Kelly dearly but I wosh (or even wish!) she had written a book called "Good Enough Manners" and "Good Enough Partners".

[wozzer]

Hey milo, know that feeling hun

Right here's what you got to do. First of all, I am assuming that your horse is ok in traffic, as you get your friend to hack out sometimes So ...... pick a really early, daylight time - 7.00 am on a sunday morning is great, as there is unlikely to be much traffic. Also choose a day that isn't too windy, so you aren't going to get litter blowing about, etc. Make sure you go with a friend on a quiet horse, or with someone on foot or bicycle and wear your hi viz kit so you know you can be seen.

Perhaps you might plan purely to go 500 yards down the road and home again. That will be absolutely fine ;D

Perhaps you might plan to do a very small circular tour, which would be even better ;D

Perhaps you just go to the next lamp-post, get off and lead your horse

Anyway, if you plan this carefully, hopefully you will get out there and actually feel brave enough to do it. Then the next time, you may feel brave enough to go a little further and will continue to build up your confidence.

Another consideration - do you drive? If you do, you will know that you should always be reading the road ahead. I watch out ahead for things that might worry my horse. He is not concerned with any form of traffic, but he is very concerned about plastic bags in hedges, etc. I am quite happy to ask a random passer-by to pick up plastic carrier bags LOL!!!! They always oblige if you explain why, with a smile ;D

Although we are not allowed to ride on the pavement, I would have no hesitation in popping on to it temporarily (always mindful of pedestrians) if a situation arose where this was safer, ie. to get out of the way of something that was worrying your horse.

However, I am getting the feeling that your horse is ok with your friend on the roads, but that you are feeling worried because all of the things you have heard about that went wrong

It may surprise you to learn that I had a head on collision with a horse a number of years ago. I packed in riding completely for a long time. However, I wish I had not done this. Neither of us were badly injured but it was my confidence that was shattered because of all the "what ifs" that flew around my mind afterwards. I parted with a much loved horse I had owned from a weanling and it was very sad . (I am very proud to tell you, however, that he is now a much loved police horse).

Anway, the point I am making is that the reason for our accident was exactly that - it was an accident. A dog spooked my horse into the road.

Why am I telling you this It is because everything we do has some form of a risk. Crossing the road, driving a car, going in a plane, etc.

However, we take calculated risks and do everything that we can to make sure we are safe. Sometimes things can and will go wrong. But we can't live our lives with this "what if". We have to take each day as a gift.

I hope I have been helpful, and not scared you off with my story. I am only telling you about it so that I can help you understand how scared I was, after the accident, but that it is possible to go out and hack on the roads again after all.

I wish you great success with your first little hack. Please come back on here and let us know how you get on. xx

[laura]

hi milo

sounds like you have realistic reasons for your fears ..... having had a horse spook into a dangerous position as well as local examples of when things have gone wrong would make anyone think more than usual on the potential dangers of hacking on the road. This is us being human ..... it would be less understandable if you were unaffected at all

I think most of us have their "bogey" ... I will happily hack out on the roads but am wibbly about canter at times , its almost years since I have done so as "never needed to" ....... Same with jumping ...... will do so only if I have to out hacking. Maybe you canter and jump happily ?


re you and roads ....

some thoughs that come to mind at the mo

There are loads relaxation techniques you could try .... even something simple as singing can help calm things ( thats what I do ) so that when you do get to go on the roads you have a "grounding" routine.


NLP is quote a good technique for changing ones mental picture of what will be the outcome of whatever it is you want to change ... I am currently working on the jumping piccie .......... imagining the Vidoe of Taz and I going over an ickle jump happily !


there are cds you can get on comfindence improvement but I dont know much about them I;m afraid, hope soemone else can help if that what you might like.

perhaps you could try walking gee gee out in hand first rather than riding .......... I used to take Taz along and let her have a nibble at the hedgerows so we could both chill ;D


You could take up your friend offer of coming with you and ensure she remains on the outside with you riding as a pair the whole way..... or maybe with someone walking alongside or behind you.

Make sure you have loads hi viz on so cars have no excuse not to see you ....... volunteer walking behind you to slow cars down, somehow many drivers will slow for person rather than a horse .......

I have even seen someone with a car behind them with hazard lights on to ensure safety ..... and its often enough done for human runners as well !!


BUt

the bottom line I suppose is .......... whether you are thinking about going on roads because you feel you "ought to" ... or becuse you WANT to. This might make the difference as to whether you suceed. If you can still ride other places then you dont NEED to "face the fear and do it " either.

MOst of us I bet would far rather avoid roads altogether .............. I know I would ..... but unless I want to just ride round and round a 3 acre field I HAVE to go on the roads to get to bridlepaths ... and if very muddy or I am driving its ALL road work !

For sure you are not alone in fear of roads ..........

hugs

Laura

[js]

All great advice above that I really can add very little to. But just to say we're all here for each other and all have our own fears (in plural for most of us!), so don't ever feel embarressed to admit anything.

Take the pressure of yourself and think about some of the above suggestions for a while. Personally when I first got Tilly I had someone walk with me lots of times before I felt comfortable to go alone. It really relaxed me because we talked the entire time which takes your mind off the 'fear'.

Do what's right for you, not what you think other people expect of you. Good luck !

[ktk]

Really cant add much to everyone else.

"Do what's right for you, not what you think other people expect of you" Spot on JS, thats the most important thing!! Its what I tell myself everyday and it takes such a huge weight off your shoulders!

Oh one last thing, cover yourself in hi-viz, my horses go out literally covered in v-bandz and it just makes you feel a little less naked out on the roads!

Good luck xx

[nich]

the reason that it's so scarey is that falling off on a hack through a field may provide a osftish landing, you are the only objewct travelling. Falling off on a road/on a car, involves hard surfaces, moving objects, AND danger to your horse. Unless you have to go on the busy roads, why risk it? I don't and won't, ever, put myself or my horse in that situation. I am very lucky that I don't have to, but even where there is a busy road half way across a hack I'm planning, I am going to get off, lead along a pavement for 30 metres, then lead the horse across to the next bridle track. that's my way of coping/minimising the risks.
don't feel pressured to do it and if you want to, have a plan!

[milo]

thankyou to everyone and thanks sarah the cows are all fine enjoying the sunshine.

[Derek Clark]

Hi Milo,

I've sent you a PM.

Best wishes,

Derek

[angblue]

I know how you feel milo, this is my bugbear too
I can do it in company fine but on my own I go to peices after having 2 crashing falls on the tarmac when Blue spooked. The last was almost a year ago but still can't get it out of my head!
You've had some excellent advice there from everyone & I intend to take it on board too.
Good luck, I'm sure you'll get through it just fine ;D