I've had a negative week.. sorry guys!

[kya]

I don't know what got into me this week, but I've been OFF horses. I hacked yesterday without any problems but was definitely on edge. Tomorrow we have a joint hack on some new route or other. I know cantering will be on my hacking partners mind as we achieved lift off together last week. I am pre-menstrual which always kicks up my nerves.. anyone else feel that way? Anyway, I will go out but no promises to do anything. It's annoying this triumph, then flatness, then up, then down. I want to grab onto a confident attitude that persists, not a rush that comes and goes.

My sum total of horsemanship today was chasing my horse across the field waving a lawn rake as he tried to push over my dung barrow and generally intimidate me.. Blah, blah, what a whiner!!

The other thing that knocked my feelings was reading a post on the General thread showing a regular doing x-country. Watching it make me feel completely hopeless. She was just so driving on, fearless... I was awed.

I was watching Gladiator last night. Maximus' horse has a coal bucket or some piece of armour on his head and they are charging through the forest.... I was laughing to my OH... none of your 'well, I do hope Blackie doesn't spook at that tree! He didn't have his magnesium supplement, and with all that spring grass!' No time for ninnies!

[nic1]

I know just where your coming from Kanga. Feeling generally nervous is so tiring.
Even when everything is good and you cope with everything it knackers me.
When i am riding it all feels really good and you go home on a high but quite often i go away and worry that it can't continue.!!! Oh my god why do i do that??
Anyway PMT has a serious affect on how i do most things and i don't realise until later how awful i have been. Poor OH, Poor Horses, Poor Customers in my Shop.!!
Don't compare yourself to others it is not productive, so they say, but i can't help it either!!
I was listening to an interview with the actor from a fairly new film, i haven't seen it but apparently there is a scene with a horse in it. It obviously behaved at some point because they made the scene, but apparently it cleared off regularly with the actor. So it is not all it seems.
Keep smiling you are usually so positive.

Nic
x

[kya]

I know Nic, but listen to us.... moan, whine... we have to ride these beautiful horses!!! Only within the confines of this group would people understand the twin compulsion of horse ownership and self preservation. I'm looking out the window and trying to stay positive while gripping the Neurophen plus. My horses (Blue and companion) are gleaming with good health, there isn't one dropping in the field, my saddle is away being re-flocked... I'm doing my best as a horsewoman, whatever about the vagueries of riding! Now I really sound hormonal. Love the idea of the actor being tanked with!

Conquering riding fears is much more than it seems.. it's a life altering experience for me anyway, and yes exhausting!

Actually, just remembered poor Wozzer, who is having a much harder day, having decided (see General board) to part with her youngster Wozzer. That is tough. I'll perk up by morning. Thanks for listening!

[wozzer]

Don't feel sorry for me Kanga - I nearly p*ssed myself laughing just now at your description of Gladiator. You always make me smile even when I'm down

Some nice people have PM'd me about the young Wozzer, so I hope something will work out well.
xx

[laura]

oh that flipping PMT ........ has me in tears at the slightest things sometimes ...... never mind being a bit wibbly over a realsitic , self preservation issue like getting on 1/2 ton of beast thats also got PMT ;D ;D

the thing about watching others doing things is that they may be feeling what you think they are ....... but then again , all may not be as it seems. Most folk get the wibblys from time to time even when they appear not !!

[eileen]

Kanga, just remember at least you are going out on a hack, i havent even reached that point yet and i bet if you and i were together you would give me confidence knowing how scared i am! You are doing brilliantly and i hope one day i come on and say i've been for a hack too! all the best eileen x

[nich]

hi Kanga - you canter?? well go, girl! I have worked myself to the state that I will only trot Dolce in perfect conditions and haven't cantered for, oo, months! plus those horses you see others on, maybe YOU would be like that on that horse? I would do most things on Autumn who I've had for 4.5 yrs, but on Dolce I don't have any confidence at all.

[js]

Oh Kanga - you have probably summed up how all of us on this section feel, especially with PMT.

It's all up and down for me too - have a great ride, feel fab. Have a stressful ride, feel cr*p. But I always end up dwelling on the stressful ones for about ten times as long as I do on the great ones.

But as I've said before it's addictive so we just keep on putting ourselves through it. I really do wonder if there should be some kind of rehab clinic for us lot. At least we could have a darn good drink whilst discussing our fear..... !!!

[kya]

Thanks Fearless Few.... I hacked out at a mighty clatter (cue trumpets) with partner, but the ground was like cement. Blue led the ride... not because I had anything to do with it... but we enjoyed ourselves, even the spring into never-never-land at the exploded mattress some darling person dumped in the forest. It is tiring all this summoning courage eh?? Believe me, getting to trot etc., I do understand. Acceleration in general is always an issue isn't it. The ground whipping away from us.... tip... don' t look down. Hacking out... must be insane. I'm part native american indian and somewhere in my head is the idea of charging across the planes. Picking around the potholes will have to do. I am marking the calender for the old PMT next time, because it really reduces my nerve. X.

[angblue]

Glad you had a good ride today & in company!! Well done
Yes it's generally swings & roundabouts with me too, up down round & round But I think thats really what life is like anyway without horses but I seem to manage to project all my worries about riding to the top of my list!
IT's a pity we all didn't live closer can just see everyone laughing & drinking over a few glasses of alcoholic beverage & boring each other with our stories of "horror" hacks & near death experiences LOL ;D ;D

[Louise C]

Glad you had a better ride today!!

[em&ed]

That's what horses is all about kanga - ups and downs - love 'em / hate 'em - grinning from ear to ear one minute and in tears the next -like me with me boot stuck in the stirrup! the other night - I think that was a hormonal day for me - went home and cried.. but then before you know it you are coming home from a great hack (well you are, not me obviously - lol)
keep us posted on how you go, some of your posts a really funny

[pebblesgirl]

Guess we always new this confidence thing would be two steps forward and one back eh? Pmt really affects me too,definately much more highly strung the week before lol.
You are doing so well matey,and your posts are so vivid i feel like i am there with you ;D
Tomorrow is another day and all that ;D