Is age a factor?

[angblue]

Just wondered if age is a factor on the confidence issues some of us have?
Or having children?
I am 34 & have a 5yo son, I am definitely not so confident as I was in my younger day! Although I don't feel being a mum is a factor I do think that subconsciously my mind is going into self preservation mode
What do you think?

[Casper]

I would say age is definitely a factor, no question. Can't comment re having children as we don't have any. But when I was a kid I used to ride anything, go anywhere, do anything. Now it is like oh it's windy, oh I think a tractor just went down there, other people might be riding and spook Bobby blah blah blah. Utter madness but there you are.

And to think that I used to ride a traffic shy pony along the side of the A45 in a headcollar and bareback - yikes! Wouldn't ride any horse guaranteed to be 1001% bombproof in those conditions, complete with saddle, body protector, great brakes or anything these days...

And I suppose the other thing is that when you are a kid you bounce more, whereas as you get older you don't...

Closest thing I've come to feeling like a kid again is when I ride Clover in our fab Horse Dream Sheepskin bareback pad - it is wicked and great fun!

[rhillahorse]

Without a doubt. As a teenager I was completely fearless. Now I like to keep myself safe.

Although I will do anything, go anywhere on Rhilla because I trust her implicitly, I haven't got to that place with Tex yet. Hope we get there eventually though.

[kya]

Certainly. Mind you I always was fearful on horseback. I'm doing more now than I did at 12-16, when I last had horses. I feel more in control now as I don't have parents or friends to make me do things when I'm out. I have learned to say no.

[em&ed]

I deffo think age is a factor. I don't consciously think about being older and being more nervous, it just happens, but i do occasionally think "I never used to feel like this" In reality we do have other things to think/worry about if you got injured - God forbid - such as your job and paying your mortgage/rent etc and kids for those that have them. But like i said I don't consciously worry about those things; they must be in the dark recesses of my mind (there's a scary place!) and as Casper says I know I don't bounce like I used to ;D so I think you are more cautious as you get older... your brain is telling you to be too sensible!!

[giftgirl]

urmm i dont know because i am 13 and all the adults i know (my mum, my friends mum etc) are really confident and are not fazed by anything!
i really want to improve now i am younger, because it is the base for all the riding i will do for the rest of my life
i am worried that if my confidence does not improve soon, i will be like this forever
giftgirl xx

[angblue]

OMG giftgirl I had the impression that you were at least in your 20's !! You sound v mature for your age & don't worry judging by your thread on the latest hack you'll have the nerves kicked into touch in no time

[Hannah]

Age certainly does affect confidence. You have more responsibilites generally, but I think having children could be a major factor, one of the reasons I'm steering clear of them for the time being ;D
You are more aware of not bouncing and the consequences, eg if you fell off aged 14, the best thing would be a few days off school then a war story to tell , now it means time off work, possibly on reduced or no pay and no way of keeping all the balls you are juggling in the air.

[LouiseB]

I didn't start riding until I was 41 - currently 48 , and lost my confidence out on the roads but then took action as I made up my mind as to how much I wanted to ride and if i did I wanted to enjoy it.

I found a good instructor, moved onto the right yard ie one where people got out and about regularly with their horses rather than only riding in the menage or fields and spending loads of time fussing & petting - though that's all very nice too :0)))

I also realised that I was not on the right horse for me. I was able to ride another horse as well as my own for 3 months and then I took huge decision to find a new riding horse. Thanks to Merve I'm now martini girl - ride anywhere anyplace at any pace and have tremendous fun. I'm also happy to get on unfamiliar horses and have a session but I now know whether the horse will suit me or not within a couple of minutes and I'm confident enough to say "Thanks but no thanks" and get off.

I now usually head up our hacks as myself and my horse are one of the bravest combos. 3 years ago I took my horse on a fortnight's holiday riding the Ridgeway and the Wansdyke way through Wiltshire and Berkshire. My husband tagged along on his mountain bike. I'd only had my new horse for 7 weeks and we had to move from B& B to B& B every night except for rest days and some of the riding did mean going on unfamiliar A roads to get between the bridle paths. I never gave it a thought and I had learnt to ride assertive ( but thoughtfully ) on any road.

So I believe that it is possible with the right horse and getting the riding miles on the clock but also the right support system - instructor / yard etc and also the desire to make a change then you can regain your confidence.

[wozzer]

LouiseB - what an inspiring story - thanks! xx

[LouiseB]

cheers wozzer - glad to be of help

[angblue]

Wow louiseb that is a great story & a big relief to me that confidence can be gleened back even though time marches on!!

[amarche]

I've thought this for a long time - I think its down to a sense of responsibility too - if i came off now and hurt myself then my OH would go daft, never mind what my boss is likely to say I also wouldn't want to put my children off......

I'm also very aware now that I don't have as much time as I used to so everything seems to be on a time limit - never a good thing around horses and my personal hate is starting something I can't finish - so it sounds daft but I'd rather not start it - if you get my understanding?

thank you LouiseB for your story

[nich]

thanks Louise B. I also didn't start riding til later in life (mid 30's), but maybe it's the not thinking/knowing what can happen that gives children less fear? when I got my first horse I trusted her implicitly, felt confident to push her on etc. i tried to ride out in a gale in my 1st week with her as I knew no better. Now with my 2nd horse, only 4 years later, I'm 'too windy/she's too lively/too many kids out galloping'. Admittedly my 2nd horse is less 'easy', but I am disappointed in myself.

[LouiseB]

Try not to be disappointed with yourself as I think that can just add to the lack of confidence.

Breathing at all times is good when you are pushing your boundaries - calms you down and helps you think more clearly and helps your horse.

Have you got a good instructor - one who works on building confidence - or a support network of reliable patient people who you can get out and about with ?