Confidence issues

[star13]

Hi,

I'm new to all this, so I hope I'm doing this correctly.

I've had a few confidence issues in the past with my horse, after quite a few falls I refused to do anything beyond a walk/trot or a happy hack. He was never nasty, and it used to be silly things that would get me off, once I hit the ground, he never ran away, but stood over me as if to say What The Hell Are You Doing Down There?!

I have always loved competing and about 6 months ago bought a competion horse, to join the rest of the gang. She is fantastic and can do everything I need her to do, only problem is me. I know I can do it, but it's getting past that wall saying what if??? I have tried lessons, but I'm still not getting over that barrier. It's so annoying when I think of what I used to do and am capable of still doing.

Any advice would be really welcome!!

[amarche]

I think for starters Star13 you probably need to stop comparing yourself to what you used to do.....look at how you're feeling now and then you can work from there.
Looking back negatively like that puts you in the wrong frame of mind from the outset and you're going to need to be positive and think of all the things you CAN do instead!

Excellent advice already on another thread says 'well, so what if?' you know if x happens I will deal with it in this manner.

I think that you also need to explore whether you really want to be competing - I may have read your thread wrong - but is it peer pressure or a genuine 'want to' attitude?
After all its this ultimate desire/goal to compete so badly that you're going to need to give you a boost when things get tough.

having said all that though good on you for taking the first steps, the best idea is to break your goal down into manageable bite size pieces and then congratulate yourself on your acheivements. Set yourself up to succeed EVERY time. This will boost your confidence no end.

And keep us informed!!!

[star13]

Hey, Amarche,

I really appreciate your post. It really is a genuine want to compete attitude, but I just can't help thinking back to those times of when I lost the confidence. I have spoken to my friend about my riding and they have agreed to be there at all of my lessons now so that when my teacher isn't there, they can help me to straighten my issues out.

My new horse and I jumped 1 whole foot straight bar tonight wih the help of my friend, which is like play school work to him, but I'm so chuffed with myself as I haven't jumped very often before. It really feels like I've conquered a demon tonight.

Every time I ride I feel like I am getting more confident.

I have a lesson on Saturday so wish me luck!!

[kya]

I think you are doing everything right. Try to be patient. Don't give yourself a tight timetable of achievements, just move towards what you want at your speed. Sounds like you have a good plan right there and a supportive group of friends. Good luck.

[comet]

Hiya, i agree with kanga, small steps confidence doesn;t grow overnite, Also, dont for a second think you are the only one, even the best riders hav issues with confidence and nerves,.,

[iceberg]

Hello, I can understand completely when you say you look back at what you used to do and and are capable of, but the fears get in your way. I agree with all that the others have said, slowly does it, and you are not the only one to be suffering from this.

I used to jump ditches, gallop in fields, get on anything, but now I ve been reduced to being led in walk around the school, because of my nerves. They are crippling, but time will heal, and every achivement will count to boosting your confidence.

Well done for jumping and dont leave it too long before you do it again, I have found this to be a problem, if I leave it a week or so all the good memories fade and the fearful ones come back to the front.

This section has worked a small miracle for me, actually getting back on my horse, and its been down to reading threads, comments, inspirations and experiences of all the others on here, that has helped me.

Well done and keep going.xxxx

[star13]

Thank you all sooo much for your comments, it's really good to find that other people have been through this too and that i'm not the only one. Thanks once again, hope to speak to you all soon.
xx