PUSHY MUMS !!!

[horsey123]

PUSHY MUM DO MUMS DO MY HEAD IN

we have a few on are yard not saying names but this lady was making her daughter ride her pony the outher day while her daughter was crying saying she dosen feel well i was like "what the "

ellie (my daughter) will come to the farm with me every night if she is well and her hips are ok she can ride when ever she wants,i wont make her ride or show if she dosent want if she hasent road for a couple of weeks i will just say to her "i think you should ride today" and she normally will but she will never be pushed into riding if she really doesent want .

sorry just needed a rant

[Vicky&Beenie]

yer i know what you mean! i know a few people like that! give their kids a break!

[numbat]

I know what you mean, but you don't know the whole story. What if the kid begged and begged for the pony and promised she would look after him including giving him regular exercise, and has a tendency to say she doesn't feel well whenever she wants to get out of doing something? Maybe the pushy mum is just trying to teach her kid a bit of responsibility.

[flyingdonkey]

^^ exactly what happened with my sister... had to have the pony but looking after her was a different story, she would only ride if i bought the horse in, groom tacked up etc. but when it was suggested we sell the pony... it was nooooooooooo i love her to much and major fits.

[Cheryl Walmsley]

Yes I must admit when Christian had his loan pony for the summer last year, I had to push him sometimes to do nice things with the pony. He wanted Monty but then after a while he started to bring him in, put him in the stable and walk away so I had to give him a nudge to groom and do some groundwork. I don't ever recall making him ride but I had to push him to spend some time with the pony. Just to teach him a bit of responsibility.

My OH did say I was too pushy at asking him to progress his riding but that's another story, we are too similar me and Christian and we don't always get along. It annoys me when I know he is not trying his hardest at something, which he wasn't with his riding. Oh well :-)

[Sue & Tinta]

- Ok not actually knowing the mother/child you could think - is this mother re-living her ponyclub days (or missed opportunity) through her child.

Possibly the mother is finding that the childs is actually going off the idea of having a pony - but mother wants the 'status' or simply the child is just a miss wingebucket and is never happy (I know one or two of them (fortuntely not on my yard !).

I still remember being a Princess Risborough Show many years ago and watching the Gymkhana Games - you know that mad fun thing kids on pony's do..... A rather large mum (wearing no bra and a tight tshirt) was hurling her child (about 4/5 years) on a pony dragging both child and pony up and down the field in the race and dragging the child off the pony and throwing her into a sack and making her jump - the kid was howling her head off in a scenario which nowadays would be certainly classed as child abuse - no one said a word and the child came second - the parent then ran round proudly showing off her rosette to all the other mums .....as to where the child was well I think she may have tied it up with the pony at the side of the trailer with a grazing muzzle on !!!!

We do have 2 kids (brother and sister) on our yard - who are brilliant with ther ponies and whilst they may leave a trail of distruction in there wake - they are the politest, nicest pair and always willing to give you a hand should you need it and there stable management is of top class pony club standard. Mum & Dad are really nice as well .

It is in someways a relief that I had to wait until I was old enough and working and able to pay for my own horse (albeit it took 20 years after leaving home) rather than my non-horsey parents buy me one - as now if I am too tired to ride or don't feel up to it I don't have anyone nagging me at 'why are we paying out all this money ' - although admittedly I do feel guilty if it is a nice day ....sorry having a lunchtime waffle.

[hch4971]

mmm...........had she been forcing the child to enter a show or something similar I might think she was being pushy BUT when have ponies you cannot ignore them because you feel ill (admittedly you may choose not to ride in that situation) one could assume the mother knew the child was fine and just not wanting to ride the pony so using illness as an excuse. Difficult I guess as you know the people on your yard and I dont!

[pinkpony]

God, I have to push my kid to feed the hamster never mind do a pony.....I whish my mum would have pushed me to have a pony when I was a kid.....ho hum

[Susan]

Was I a pushy Mum, I dont think so..

But it might have appeared that way to someone who didnt know us and only dipped into a situation.

I am not saying that this is that situation but things are not always as they appear.

BUT I did make my daughter ride tthe very few times when she thought she wasnt going to for what I saw as not a good enough reason, BUt that wasnt often as I more then not had to stop her riding as the weather wasnt suitable or what ever. She saw nothing as a problem and took her responcibilities serious.
I also always told her the pony came 1st, if she choose to go out for a long hack and it was cold the pony had to be sorted before her, as the pony had no choice, she did.
I may well have come over hard to that outsider.
But I made it clear you want a pony it comes warts and all come rain or sun..it was a 24/7 hobby. They are not toys you take batteries out of as it seems fit.

I have been in many yards and seen selfish kids not even bother to say hello to the pony as Mum did all and they played at anything not horse related. There was even one child who chose to stay home and play with her My Little Pony then come up to her real one even to groom it.

Sorry but if that had been my daughter expensive lawnmower would have gone.
Did I push her to shows I dont think so or push her into classes, we discussed what she would like to do and what we could afford and what was right.

[horsey123]

this family has 5 horse 2 of witch just stand in a stabel 24/7 this pony is ridden all this time by every one it is jumped over and over agen by differnt kids 7 days a week this pony gets dragged around the yard in her bridal by a 7 yr yanking on her bit and the pony hasent been turned out scince early last year
i have even seen her 6yo daughter wearin spures when when her legs dont even go past the saddle flapps on a lead rein with a wip the pony has a martingal a very tight flash daisy rain and they have been seen jumping in draw rains

[hch4971]

ah well, they are totally different issues, is there a reason why 2 are kept in whilst the other 3 go out i.e laminitis management or other health issue. Unfortunately people have very different views on how to keep their horses, perhaps you could speak to them and offer advice on what they are doing wrong and how to correct it!

[horsey123]

the reason the 2 are kepy in is "becouse there cobs and my mum dosent want them dirty" the daughter told me
i think i will have a chat with her she a nice lady dont get me rong but thik i will have a chat with her as she took my advice befor about not jumping in draw rains of useing them at all and was glad of the advice

[geeup]

oh the joys of livery yards. My daughter is horse mad, but I can't put my hand on my heart and say I had nothing to do with it, We share a pony and I suspect a little bit of me re-lives my childhood through her. Most paretns pass their passions on to their children, but its a fine line isn't it!

[Cheryl Walmsley]

it is a fine line definitely

[ajb]

Dont start me off on this one! I get so cross about this most kids I know just rely on Mummy to do all the "donkey" work, including the fittening work and just turn up and ride at shows, or PC rallies. I blame the parents!! I would be blowed if I would be doing kids ponies both ends of the day plus a f/time job if darling little kiddy winkies cant come down and help