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life
Aug 22, 2005 22:46:27 GMT 1
Post by anon1 on Aug 22, 2005 22:46:27 GMT 1
if you would give up everything you have now for something you once had does that mean you have led your life incorrectly??
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life
Aug 22, 2005 22:53:34 GMT 1
Post by shirleynw on Aug 22, 2005 22:53:34 GMT 1
You can never go back, only forward. Everything changes. Only God remains the same. Live and learn. God Bless you anon.
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sharon
Elementary Poster
Posts: 62
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life
Aug 22, 2005 22:59:40 GMT 1
Post by sharon on Aug 22, 2005 22:59:40 GMT 1
Well I try to never look back and regret, but try to learn from the past. Don't know about God shirleynw, we might have to differ on that one
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life
Aug 22, 2005 23:30:10 GMT 1
Post by anon1 on Aug 22, 2005 23:30:10 GMT 1
i also try to look forward and as much as i try to think of my past and see it happily, it makes me sad at what i no longer have. i find myself aching at thoughts of my past as i want it to be like it was.
how do you manage to look back and just smile? i just cry and i think im ruining my life by trying to make it like it once was
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sharon
Elementary Poster
Posts: 62
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life
Aug 22, 2005 23:33:18 GMT 1
Post by sharon on Aug 22, 2005 23:33:18 GMT 1
What is it that you miss?
I think thats what matters, can you change your life back to how it was or is it time to put it to bed and start affresh?
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life
Aug 23, 2005 0:17:20 GMT 1
Post by Nickernow on Aug 23, 2005 0:17:20 GMT 1
I spent years mourning the loss of my dad, he died when i was 14, i always wanted life to be like it used to be, i am now 30 something and only recently had counselling, it has taught me that whilst my dad was a truly lovely man i had put him up on some kind of pedestal which affected the rest of my life, not being happy with the men in my life, comparing them and what have you, i now look to the future, i sometimes regret pushing away a certain man, selling a certain horse, not having my dog put down when her time was up, (she was my last link with my dad and i was selfish and could not bear to see her go), but i feel all this has made me the person i am today, dont live your life full of regrets, look to what you have now and try to appreciate it, i know it sounds hard but it will make you enjoy your life more, i dont believe in religion and i think you only have one chance of life so make the most of it, 3 of my cousins comitted suicide due to various personal problems which makes me very sad because i think of the life that they are missing out on and what could of been, best wishes to you
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life
Aug 23, 2005 0:40:43 GMT 1
Post by anon1 on Aug 23, 2005 0:40:43 GMT 1
What is it that you miss? I think thats what matters, can you change your life back to how it was or is it time to put it to bed and start affresh? its so strange, although im happy with what i have and how things are now when i think back i yearn for it. i miss stupid things that other people wouldnt understand, certain places and how it was when i was there. certain people and how i acted around them. but most of all i miss the person i was and am no longer, not that im now a worse person but i was more carefree, full of fun and laughter and these days i find it hard to be happy.even though i have lots to be happy about
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life
Aug 23, 2005 7:08:37 GMT 1
Post by pegleg on Aug 23, 2005 7:08:37 GMT 1
I`m sorry you`re feeling such a sense of loss and longing for what you once had/ the person you felt you used to be. Life is full of change and choices and often places in the past seem better on reflection than they actually were at the time. As Nickernow says we can put people - and circumstances - on a pedastal and falsely imagine them to be the best time, or at least better than the present. Increasing age brings increasing responsibility - maybe that`s why you feel less carefree now? But maybe if you went back in time, as you are now, you wouldn`t find life to be as full of fun and laughter as you thought it was at the time? People change as they get older; I know I have. But I also believe that you have to CHOOSE to be happy, to look at the good things, to not go down the path of reminiscence if it leads to regret. If you stop yourself beore you go down into a spiral of `what if`s`, it sometimes helps to soften or divert the emotions that go with such thoughts. Someone once said that grief comes to an end but loss must be incorporated into life. I believe that. My own life has been far from what I wanted it to be - even needed it to be - and I have experienced periods of deep depression. But I have finally learned that life happens and that within it there are some very good things and there is much fun and laughter and deep contentment to be found. Fact aside of feeling. And that doesn`t negate the deep sense of loss and sorrow that I still feel at times. I still cry and have down days but as soon as I`m able I pick myself up, brush myself down - and start all over again. It aint easy but it does work! I hope you soon feel better OP. Sorry for the lecture!
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life
Aug 23, 2005 9:06:39 GMT 1
Post by hazelhorse on Aug 23, 2005 9:06:39 GMT 1
At various stages in our lives we have decisions to make, and we make them according to how we are feeling and the idea we have of what is right. Those decisions obviously change your life and you move along a new road, which in turn brings a new set of choices, it is like driving down a maze of unknown country lanes with no sign posts, or false ones which appear when other people try to affect your decisions. Those choices shape your life, and you are who you are because of them. If you feel that somewhere in your own personal map you a very bad decision, you aren't able to go back to exactly that time and place and change your mind, but it doesn't mean that you can't change where you are now, and bring something back into your life that you lost by a poor decision.
If you want something, don't look back regretting it's loss, find a way to get that thing into your life now, the way things are at the moment, good luck.
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joc
Advanced Poster
Posts: 325
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life
Aug 23, 2005 13:01:20 GMT 1
Post by joc on Aug 23, 2005 13:01:20 GMT 1
The above threads offer some great insight into how to cope with the issues you face. Life constantly evolves and you will never be able to go back to how things were because time changes everything and us as people. Sometimes as we get older and face more challenging situations we become fearful for the people we love and the things that give us security. Just think that everything we are involved with and how we handle it shapes us as people and gives us knowledge and wisdom to resolve other situations which will appear in front of us. If you are interested in the Bach Flower Remedies then one to try is Honeysuckle. This remedy is indicated for over-attachment to past memories. It is helpful to people who keep looking longingly back to the past feeling often nostalgic and homesick. It will help you to deal with what's happening in the present far more effectively by releasing your attachment to the past whether that's related to lost loved ones or simply happier days. Being locked into the past is an overwhelming feeling, this remedy will help you to see the past as a valuable experience enabling you to live the life you have today with confidence. It will also help you to accept getting older as a natural development. Hope this helps, if you would like to talk more about the remedies and how they might help you then please send me a personal message.
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monet
Grand Prix Poster
Posts: 1,423
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life
Aug 25, 2005 8:16:36 GMT 1
Post by monet on Aug 25, 2005 8:16:36 GMT 1
i dont regret what i have done or not done for that matter but i like to think i am learning from the past, good or bad and move on, you cant change it but you can make it better.
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