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Post by gwenoakes on Aug 16, 2005 10:24:38 GMT 1
Have just had some materials delivered for our roofing business. Apparently the usual drivers wife has only a few weeks/months to live as she has cancer. Was diagnosed only last week. First of all would you all give positive thoughts to them to help them through this. Secondly it has really, really upset me and I cant understand why. I know that sounds a bit daft, but I dont know the lady although the driver (her husband) is a lovely man and have known him for years. Am I just being soppy? Suppose it could be that I can relate regarding the cancer as I was diagnosed 12 years ago and lucky for me am still here to tell the tale. Maybe I am just a silly, soppy person. Sorry for posting but really needed to.
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berylsmum
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Post by berylsmum on Aug 16, 2005 10:42:55 GMT 1
Your not being silly or soppy. It is always awful to hear a story like this, if you have suffered with it as well it is only natural to be upset. It must be such an awful situation of all those involved.
Lots of positive thoughts coming from me.
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debbieg
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It's not a problem, it's a challenge...
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Post by debbieg on Aug 16, 2005 10:46:41 GMT 1
I don't think you're silly or soppy at all.. You can relate to her situation and empathize.
I have never been through this but I find it very upsetting all the same when someones life is going to be unavoidably shortened.
It's terribly sad and you are having a natural reaction.
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Post by LisaM on Aug 16, 2005 11:13:38 GMT 1
Hi Gwen,
Your just a kind compassionate human! It's not soppy. My MIL has been diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumour and they have said there's nothing they can do. They can't operate as it's so large and they wont perform chemo (sp) or radiotherapy as they feel that wont be enough. Basically she will be coming home and in need of a carer. The Dr has advised that she will gradually lose her senses and then need to spend her final days in a hospice :-(
We found all this out over the weekedn and my oh is devasted and I'm trying to hold things together. If you didn't feel compassion for this man's wife you wouldn't be the person you are ! x
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Ann NF
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Post by Ann NF on Aug 16, 2005 11:32:38 GMT 1
Lisa , I`m so sorry to hear about you MIL . I remember your earlier posts about her. Hopefully they can give steroids to reduce brain pressure , plus effective pain killers,which will help a bit? Poor lady and devastating for your OH. You have a hard job to do being the strong one for him, and for her . Keep coming here for support when you need it!
Gwen, I think your reaction is totally normal. This kind of news brings one up with a start. Every day is precious isn`t it? It`s good to hear that you are well after your own scare. Can you send the lady some flowers or something? Even if you only know her through her OH, she will apppreciate the thought. Life is very cruel sometimes.
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Post by gwenoakes on Aug 16, 2005 12:20:22 GMT 1
Thanks for all your posts, nice to know its natural. Knew it was as soon as I posted and saw it in print.
LisaM - so sorry to hear about your MIL. Have seen 2 people go through this and it is not very pleasant. One friend was unconscious at the end and didnt know anything and another friend died very suddenly and again didnt know anything. Hope your MIL has a peaceful passing. Steroids can and do help from my involvement with these 2 friends. My thoughts and good wishes go to you, your OH and your MIL.
Ann NF - Apparently the lady does not want flowers or cards sending, but it was a lovely thought and I thank you.
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Post by LisaM on Aug 16, 2005 12:32:20 GMT 1
Gwen,
My MIL is on steroids and I really hope it's peaceful for her. The thing at the moment is that she is herself, fun and lively, full of jokes etc. It's just the tumour is affecting her mobility down the left side of her body so she cannot move a great deal. Which will gradually take over her body and mind :-( Sorry to hijack your thread with my trials and tribulations! But thank you for your comapssion and thoughts..x
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Post by gwenoakes on Aug 16, 2005 12:51:36 GMT 1
Lisa M - hijack away not a prob. I wish there was more I could say to help you. Have they suggested any time scale? Perhaps (you may have done this already) you could ask the consultant how this will progress, then if you know you could be prepared with the extra help when needed. As I understand from my friends it depends in what area the tumour is as to how disabling it will be and what movement will be affected. X
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Post by thistle on Aug 16, 2005 22:11:22 GMT 1
My neighbours son who is 2 and a half has just been diagnosed with Neuroblastoma, a very aggressive childhood cancer. He comes down to me to see the horses and ride on the tractor most days when he is not in hospital. I have given him his own riding hat and have taken on a loan pony for him and his older sister to share. Yesterday his mum was saying that there was no need to put him forward to the 'make a wish foundation' as he has all his wishes come true at my house
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Post by gwenoakes on Aug 16, 2005 22:20:37 GMT 1
Oh Thistle what a kind person you are. Pity there arent more out there like you, bless you. You have restored my faith in human beings.
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Post by sam maxwell on Aug 16, 2005 22:26:08 GMT 1
Apricot kernels are supposed to help fight cancer, dayspring sell them very cheaply. I havn't got the website address but if you google it you should find it. Two people I know with cancer have eaten them and both have survived and are doing well, also my sister fed them to her dog who had a tumour, and it was shrinking, unfortunately the dog started refusing food with them in - they do taste vile - and as soon as she stopped it grew back.
I have also heard that eating sprouted wheat is good for cancer, but don't have any experience of this.
So sorry for anyone who is going through this, my thoughts and prayers are with you. It is especially terrible when a child has cancer, I can't imagine what the parents must be going through. God bless.
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Post by touchstone on Aug 17, 2005 19:23:42 GMT 1
Hi Gwenoaks, sorry to hear of that news. It is always upsetting and makes us realise just how precious our lives are (and short really!) I think you are demonstrating your sensitivity and compassion by feeling as you do. When we know it is terminal I think the important thing is just to let people know that you are there for them in whatever capacity they might want you. Sometimes knowing that there is someone there to feed the cat or put the bins out can be a great support. Often the simple things can make all the difference. My daughter had canccer when she was 2, but is now thankfully a strapping 16 year old! What I found I couldn't cope with was people being sympathetic or full of pity, my friend died a couple of years ago from cancer and she was practical and doing everyday things to almost the last day; but I suppose everybody is different and it is up to us to find what approach suits them best. Sending you all love xx
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