Please read, feeling so alone, dont know wht to do

[anon for this]

Hi
Have had sex for the first time and have had the whole I really enjoyed it, your a lovely girl, glad you understand nothing else is gunna happen from the guy.

I feel like iv really got over a big obsticle having sex coz ive had some bad experiences with guys so in a way I'm feeling good that i have done it. But i just feel so crap that nothing ever works for me with men. I feel so lonely. I'm sat here on my own, in the house, feeling really crap and crying. I just wish I could be someone else,someone who guys would like and actually want to be with. I'm so boring! God I'm 22 and haven't had a proper relationship. I dont go anywhere i can meet guys, i dont like drinking so dont like going to clubs and places like that. I wanted to join a gym to get myself fit n slimmer and meet some new people, but im in debt and can't afford to.
I just feel so crap and like im never guna meet anyone, afterall, who the hell would want me?

[rosemaryhannah]

Well, it is positive to enjoy sex, and positive you can see it that way. It is rotten that he appears to have then said: 'Good bye and thanks for all the fish!' Which is a rotten thing for any bloke to do! He is, bearing in mind the self censoring board, the illigitimate son of a pregnant dog.

I'm boring, too, honey, and so are most people! Most guys are boring as anything. If you can't join a gym then buy some trainers and get running - or buy a skipping rope! If you jog round a park, you will meet people, or you could go to the next IHDG meet in your area ... OK loads of middle aged women, but some ones, and the odd guy. And women have brothers, friends. Not all of whom will be sons of female dogs.

[fin]

Oh no, poor you. But he was only one of the frogs, really, and to be honest if he had stuck around you'd have probably got heartily sick of him if his attitude's like that. He served his purpose, anyway
Rosemary Hannah's right, though. Most people are just ordinary boring folks. You say you haven't found a bloke yet that wants to be with you, but then again have you found one you really want to be with? You might be fancying the Wrong Sort, or then again you just might not have come across the sort of bloke who fancies you or you fancy yet. 22's not exactly ancient, you know, and there are MILLIONS of perfectly alright blokes out there. It might take a while to track one down, but these things usually happen when you least expect them to.
In the meantime you have some time for yourself, to try to work on your self-confidence a bit. I'm with Rosemary Hannah on this too--go running. No other sport burns fat or perks you up as much as a good run. And it does wonders for your confidence. Once you've gotten fit enough to puff and plod a whole mile, or three miles, or six, without stopping, you'll feel as if you could take on anything. But the whole point is to get out there and do things--anything you like doing. That way you'll feel better about yourself and then it's much easier to relate to other people.

Incidentally, don't even consider a gym if it's like mine! THey're full of dismal miserable fat people, smug bitchy thin ones, and nobody talks to anybody else, apart from the middle aged men with stomachs who pose around the free weights and try to sweatily chat up anything that passes. As for being in the pool with them!!!!! YRCH!!!!! YUK!

[gem]

Oh its a shame but at least you have experienced it in a postive way

I am very boring and a typical person, my fiance is pretty boring too to everyone else but I love the very bones of him.

Go running as above ive just started this and while all i wanna do is cough up a lung its getting easier, also swimming is a great way to lose weight as is skipping and kick boxing!

[gwenoakes]

Poor you. But something positive has come out of it for you i.e. you had sex and enjoyed it! You are maybe feeling a little used right now. If its any consolation I have a daughter that has had more than her fair share of meaningless relationships, some short some long term. Like I tell her there is someone out there for you it is just a matter of meeting them. I second what has been said previously about running etc. Have you a friend that would run/skip/jog with you? Smile and have a laugh and try to think positive. Good luck.

[debbieg]

I am in no position to give advice on relationships!! But I agree get out there walking in the countryside (do you have a walkman? or a dog) I think the gym is over rated it's mainly full of sweaty ego maniacs (from my experience)

I don't like night clubs unless I'm out boogying with the girls! I don't know many women that have met their life partners in them so don't worry about that.

What do you enjoy doing? your interests? join clubs, gardening/ reading/ archaeoligy (sp?) whatever you enjoy doing and get out amongst it! That way you'll start networking and meeting a wider group of friends.. this will boost your self esteem and lets face it.. how can anyone love you if you haven't found the reasons to love yourself?? huh??

C'mon your 22 time to start living your life!! ;D

[tc]

Keep your chin up! If it's any consolation I was 37 with numerous long and short term relationships behind me before I met 'the one'. I agree with others, get out there and start doing something, running, swimming, anything to get you out n about.

Do anything that is going to make you feel better about yourself!