Anyone else the black sheep of the family-am I?!

[A bit upset]

I get on with my parents, but I feel the odd one out. I w my parents love my dearly and I'm lucky to have their love and support. We have had problems in the past but we are working through them.
But I'm not close to my aunties and cousins or sister. My sister and parents are, but I rarely see them, not even my sister.
I'm the only one not close to them, I've just sort of made a separate life for myself away from them. I've missed out on a lot, they're all close but I'm not. I've always felt different, I'm happy as I am. But when I'm at family events I feel 'lonely' almost.
I've ended up living about 5 miles away from where my family are all living-I love it here. I've visited them, but they don't visit me so I don't see the point.
Has anyone else found this? I feel like the black sheep of the family.

[regular]

My sister is the black sheep and she often complains that she doesn't know what is going on in the family and no one visits her.
I ring my Mum every week and have a chat, my sister rings Mum very rarely and usually for a reason. So my sister doesn't know all the boring news, what the garden is like, who has visited etc
I ring my other sisters or they ring me and we have a chat and that is when we organise a visit. We talk for no particular reason just about the kids and work and husbands and stuff. My black sheep sort of expects a fuss when she visits while the rest of us just have a cuppa and a chat.

We all visit Mum for her Birthday but my black sheep always gets the date wrong or forgets.

I'm not saying that's what you do but that's what happens in my family and the black sheep is always complaing that she doesn't fit in and that is why. Nothing specific but she wants us to ring her and visit her without putting in the yards herself. No one excludes her on purpose but we just sort of forget.

If I know the Aunts are coming to Mums I try to call in and visit them but Mum isn't going to ring everyone and tell them an aunty is going to visit I find out while I'm talking to Mum about other things.

I have an Easter luncheon and I ring everyone and invite them. They all turn up with food and drinks but my blacksheep is usually late and doesn't bring anything and it can be a bit awkward. When we see her car someone always says Oh I hope XXXX brought the champagne and chocolate and we all laugh. It is just odd as we always contribute to family functions but she doesn't. Onetime I asked her to bring a casserole to a family birthday, she told me all about what she was going to make but then turned up empty handed and told us the casserole was so good she ate it for dinner last night.

I'm not saying this is what you do but sometimes little things can annoy your family without you realising. My sister knows that there is always plenty of food so it doesn't really matter but it is irritating that she doesn't contribute.

You really have to keep up the effort of strengthening your family ties, why don't you invite your family to visit or try ringing every Tuesday night for a month.

[a bit upset]

I'm not the black sheep with my immediate family, but my extended family I feel. I have tried calling and ringing but they don't make the effort back. They tell me to call ect, but they never do it back.
So I take it you don't see a lot of your aunties ans cousins either? That they rarely call?

[vbm]

I prefer to think of myself a 'the one that got away'!

[fin]

I'm definately the black sheep. Thank God!!!! And I live a couple hundred miles away from them too

[karenwithalex]

I know i have a family that love me but suffer from Middle child syndrome ( black sheep ). My sisters are both joined at the hip to my mum and i feel an outsider but ......... i never return calls,text and forget birthdays all the time so i guess i only have myself to blame.

[regular]

The extended family is a lot different to your immediate family.
You do know the saying 'you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family'

IMHO it is worth making a big effort with your brothers and sisters, Mum & Dad unless they are negative to your wellbeing. Aunts, Uncles get a lot of respect because they are Mum & Dads close family (they talk ). Cousins are just people I know. They don't deserve any special treatment. If I like them I keep in touch, if they are 'not my sort' then I wave at them at funerals, if I loathe them I fantasise about what I will wear to their funerals.

I have a huge family so I have a couple of cousins I visit and stay with and a lot I have a drink with at family do's and try to work out their kids names and current OH's (they always say to me "have you still got the horses?") I have a few off the rails who I make sure I say hello to and then move on and I have 1 >:(that I think I will wear something red and shiny for his wake.

We all have good intentions when we catch up but really keep the contact via our parents.

If I visit an Aunty - 1 is nearby a veterinary hospital so I have stayed there a few times - then my cousins will come over to see me and they will invite me to visit and I say Great I will when I have time and it usually fizzles out.

I don't know if that helps, but I wouldn't feel to bad about this, I find they are a nice backup to have and if any of them wanted to come for a holiday then I would push the dogs off the spare bed and spray the room with air freshener for them no problems but I'm not going to sit around waiting for them to call.

Just move on with being happy and living a good life.

[fed up]

Thanks for that, I am close to my parents and my Grandad who I love so very, very much and I know they love me to.
My sister I don't see as much but we get on well and I know she loves me-even though she wouldn't admit it!!!
She is protective, lol.

[anonnnnnnnnn]

Hummm familys huh!

I'm re-assessing my brothers at the mo. Where in the past I've clocked up a million hours babysitting (their kids) and run endless chors n lent serious amounts of cash (which I always got back). Bailed out saved n ran to the rescue, always to be asured that if I ever needed a hand with anything, anything at all to pick up the phone.

I bought my first house last year. Luckly enough it doesnt need anything done to it. Apart from the walls in my bedroom. I need the wallpaper striped n it re plastered. Both brothers are in the building trade. One has promised n promised n promised but doesn't call in, the other one has the good grace to blush but doesn't offer.

I love them dearly but theres got to be balance so in general am not rushing to the rescue the next time they call. N just for a by the way, I'm the youngest!

[bassethound]

i am.
everyone on both sides has black or dark brown curly hair and are naturally larger built, im blonde, straight hair and naturally slim.
i like horses no one else does, my brothers are tearaways where as im settled down etc.
im glad to be the blacksheep i would hate it if i was the same