Law funny

[harveysmum]

> > These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
>
> > things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and
>
> > now published
>
> > by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these
>
> > exchanges
>
> > were actually taking place.
>
> > ___________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: Are you sexually active?
>
> > A: No, I just lie there.
>
> > ____________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: What is your date of birth?
>
> > A: July 15th.
>
> > Q: What year?
>
> > A: Every year.
>
> > ______________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
>
> > A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ______________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
>
> > A: Yes.
>
> > Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
>
> > A: I forget.
>
> > Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've
>
> > forgotten? _____________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or
>
> > thirty-five, I can't remember which.
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> > Q: How long has he lived with you?
>
> > A: Forty-five years.
>
> > _____________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up
>
> > that morning?
>
> > A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
>
> > Q: And why did that upset you?
>
> > A: My name is Susan.
>
> > ______________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or
>
> > the occult?
>
> > A: We both do..
>
> > Q: Voodoo?
>
> > A: We do.
>
> > Q: You do?
>
> > A: Yes, voodoo.
>
> > _____________________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
>
> > doesn't know about it until the next morning?
>
> > A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
>
> > ___________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
>
> > _____________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>
> > ______________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
>
> > A: Yes.
>
> > Q: And what were you doing at that time?
>
> > ______________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: She had three children, right?
>
> > A: Yes.
>
> > Q: How many were boys?
>
> > A: None.
>
> > Q: Were there any girls? ______________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
>
> > A: By death.
>
> > Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
>
> > ______________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: Can you describe the individual?
>
> > A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
>
> > Q: Was this a male, or a female?
>
> > ______________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
>
> > notice which I sent to your attorney?
>
> > A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>
> > ______________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
>
> > A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
>
> > ______________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
>
> > A: Oral.
>
> > ______________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
>
> > A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
>
> > Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
>
> > A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
>
> > autopsy. ______________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
>
> > ______________________________________
>
> >
>
> > Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
>
> > pulse?
>
> > A: No.
>
> > Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
>
> > A: No.
>
> > Q: Did you check for breathing?
>
> > A: No.
>
> > Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
>the
>
> > autopsy?
>
> > A: No.
>
> > Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
>
> > A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
>
> > Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
>
> > A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
>law
>
> > somewhere.


Never fails to bring a smile to my face when i read this one
Rx

[rosieee]

excellent, i love it!

[peaches]

funny stuff

[Whisper]

;D
They are brilliant!!

[Sassy]

Lol, they are fab!! xx

[silv]

Brilliant..........love 'em!

[pip]

I haven't had such a laugh for ages. Really cheered me up.

[flopsybunny]

Certainly made me giggle - it could only be in the States (or could it??)

[beki]

v v v funny :

[roo]

very good