Do "safe" homes exist

[nickied]

Hi i'm new here and have registered to see if you believe "safe" homes truly exist. I have ended up with a beautiful 15h gelding who is 7 years old. I bought him expecting to buy something more progressed in his work but that wasn't to be the case. He hasn't been passed around, his only homes have been the breeder for 5 years and then the dealer who i bought him from and then me. I think his problem is that he has been left ferel for so long that he now doesnt know how to interact with a human. He loves my mares and my mares love him, its just humans he is frightened of. He was sold without me seeing him ridden as I was told he had been backed and then turned away and they hadn't bothered to reback him before advertising him. I bought him and have had him professionally rebacked and was/am very happy with how it was done, i visited him every single day to check his progress throughout the 8 weeks he was there.

The problem now is, although he "allowed" the professional to ride him away ( and me too for a number of months) he has remained very nervous to the extent that i don't now feel its safe for me to be riding him. He jumps at the slightest of movement made and is very anxious throughout. He has unseated me twice, not nastily or intentionally but i have just lost my seat and coming off him has un-nerved me.  For this reason i decided not to ride him for a while and do some ground work but his nervousness really isn't improving. I would dearly like to find this boy a home where he can be made happy and calm but it is becoming apparent that this just isn't me. Im not doing anything to cause him any anxiousness but im also not making him any less anxious. But.... and this is my problem, i am terrified he will fall into the wrong hands. I am absolutely certain given time he will come right, he has never lifted a leg or bitten and hand on heart there is absolutely no malice about him, he genuinely does want to befriend you but he is just to scared.

But i have two other horses and work full time and because i keep my horses at home i am on my own with no support or helping hand. I am really not the person this  boy needs. Do safe homes exist if i rehome him and if so, how do i find one.

A home for him is way more important than any price but i also dont want to just "give him away" because the action of that doesn't seem to give him any value and he is valuable to me thats why i am so worried about how to go about this. (if that makes sense what im tryng to say is the monetary value of him isn't of interest to me its the value of the good home and his protection that i am interested in) . How is the best way to find him the right person. 

Thanking you in advance,   

[clipclop]

If he's genuinely competition potential then the chances of him finding the right home are far higher than if he isn't.

If the person who rebacked him didn't have a problem then there will be a home out there for him. The problem comes when you have a horse that is not quality enough to compete (eg. Poor conformation, doesn't move straight etc) as there will be less riders looking for a general allrounder who have the riding expertise he needs. Obviously not all competive riders are experienced but more of them will be.

The reality is that you cannot 100% safeguard his future. All you can do is put him on the right path - selling him to someone with the ability to bring him on, even if they don't keep him long term will put him in a far better position than someone who keeps him as a field ornament for the next 10 years as he'd really struggle to find another home at that point.

Have you spoken to the person who rebacked him? If you do decide to sell him then it would be worth him either going to them on sales livery or them coming to ride him for prospective purchasers.

Advertise him in an objective yet honest way and in the right places for the calibre of rider he needs to see the advert. Ads on fb along the lines of 'heartbreaking sale of my dear, beloved but nervous boy' with hundreds of photos of him lying down, being cuddled etc are less likely to attract the same audience as an advert on a website saying '22hh, 6yo pink gelding. Backed and been brought back into work. Well put together and moves well, needs bringing on to reach his full potential. £x location' and a few clear photos to show his conformation, ridden on the flat and maybe one of him moving free in the school/field (unrugged) if he's not started jumping yet.

Good luck with him, whatever you decide to do.

Sent from my SM-A300FU using proboards

[nickied]

Thank you clipclop. After a great deal of thought I have decided to keep him and persevere, he is too much of a nice person to lose.

I am going to invest in some IH help though. I am aware of a Paddy Gracey in my area but he doesn't appear to on the list of recommended associates. Is that just an administrator error do you know?

Thanks in advance

[clipclop]

I'm not sure on the Paddy Gracey front sorry but I have only ever heard good things about him.

Glad to hear you are persevering with your boy. I wanted to be objective in my last post as you have to really want to work through this with him to make it successful and it had to be your decision. It sounds like he's the type that needs to really have his trust earned. In my experience, whilst it takes a lot of hard work and consistency to gain their trust, once you do, you get a very strong bond.

If he's un-nerved you a bit, it may well be worth focusing on you as well as him - riding another horse or sessions on a mechanical horse can do wonders for keeping you in the swing of things whilst someone like Paddy works with your horse. Then when it's time to work on you both together, you've got the best possible chance of winning.

You may find that someone like Paddy seems to be going slowly with your horse - the key with horses like this is making sure that they truly understand what is being asked of them. I'm obviously only going by what I presume by reading your posts but in my experience, nervous but genuine horses really want to please and panic if they don't fully understand what is being asked of them. It is important that you learn exactly how whoever works with him asks him to do things and you continue the same way. Be very clear in what you ask, don't ask too much too soon and reward him when he gets it right. Once you get there, you will have a partnership for life.

Sent from my SM-A300FU using proboards

[nickied]

You are exactly right clipclop I think I have pushed him a bit too fast before he was ready. He was begining to trust me and when i started working on some of our issues he went backwards so the trust clearly wasnt instilled enough and i clearly wasnt asking the right questions of him. We have "made friends again" following him refusing to be caught for a few days (obviously his way of showing his objection to being rushed) as I have just been bringing him in each night, grooming him and talking to him. We seem to be getting back on a good footing again now. I'll give him another couple of weeks of just chilling and rebuilding some trust and then get paddy out so we can start again properly. 

Thanks again ?

[Caroline]

Dear nickied,

I am so happy you decided to keep him and persevere! That's wonderful

When I read your first post, my initial thoughts were that you might be expecting too much, too quickly. Having spent many years taming and training a couple of my horses, I have learned that it can take years to build trust and confidence - but it is worth it! I have found that there is more satisfaction in developing a small token of trust and confidence than there is in years of competition riding. Most riders with a certain level of competance can buy a pre-trained horse and chase rosettes if they want to, but it takes real horsemanship to teach a horse to trust and it is so fulfilling! You are in for a wonderful journey with your new friend - I can't wait to hear how you progress together!

For me, the solutions to training issues lay in a combination of clicker training, the teachings of Ben Hart and the down to earth but excellent practical horsemanship of RA Sarah Weston. But we all find our own cocktail of solutions and inspirations. I think you are on the right path by getting some help from an RA. I would also advise looking into the Ben Hart shaping plans for confidence. It will give you some context and methods to work through to build confidence and help you realise how incremental things have to be and how to structure that. Almost anything can be achieved with the right shaping plan I find. But that has to be balanced with good horse sense of course and an understanding of your own horse's personality.

Here's a link to ben Hart's shaping plans: www.hartshorsemanship.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=controller.viewPageShop

Best of luck - and do keep us updated please!