Big dilemma - any advice/experience to share?

[cheekychops]

Hi all,
I know that no-one will be able to tell me what to do, but just to share any advice and experiences you have will be really helpful.
I described in another thread how Cheekychops has quite diverse care at the moment split between me, 2 sharers and my yard manager as I juggle a todder and job.
Now I find I am in the early stages of my second pregnancy, and I'm really struggling to know what to do for the best.
I haven't really been able to give Cheeko the care and attention he needs with one child, let alone a newborn on the way, and I really need to think about the options.
Firstly, his current yard, while wonderful, is half an hours drive away, so a round trip to just feed and check him is 1.5hrs. I am investigating yards that are closer that could offer 24/7/365 turnout and assistance if needed. But realistically I still wouldn't be able to ride much with 2 little ones, and he does need work to help with his weight management (fat cob!).
Secondly, I've considered a full loan. I've seen a couple of adverts locally from very competant-sounding loaners that I'm tempted to follow up. I just wonder if he would do better with someone who could give him much more one-to-one time and do more with him than I can. Even though it might just break my heart to part with him, albeit temporarily.

I am so torn! Has anyone else been in this situation, and how has it worked out for you?
Thanks in advance...

[alonerawnut]

I haven't been in the same situation, but from what you've said a full loan does seem like the best option, so you don't feel guilty for 'neglecting' him.
Perhaps get in touch with some of the potential loaners / place an advert yourself and see how it goes.

[cheekychops]

Thanks yes I think with the right loan home he could be very happy. One of the adverts looked great - advertising a home with natural horsecare, barefoot, treeless, living out etc. An hour's drive away to visit. My partner is worried that I might make a big decision and regret it, and that I need to think about my own needs as well as Cheeko's.So hard!

[jen526]

Write a pros and cons list, one for you, one for him, be honest and spend time reviewing it. In all honesty I doubt if he gives a hoot if he is ridden or not, though totally appreciate the time travelling for you, plus with a second child there is the expense of a horse.
It is a lot easier with the second child in comparison to the first, you may even need the horsey time out.
Be realistic with your pros and cons, then you should reach the answer that works for you. X

[portiabuzz]

Wow you've got a lot on your plate, hope it all works out xx

[wills]

Congratulations

Ori is half hour away from me and in the opposite direction from work/school/nursery (plus shes been on box rest since May), my YO has had a change in circumstances so help has been limited and for 3 months bar the odd day I've been doing her twice a day whilst trying to fit it around nursery and school - kids are 3 and 6 - and then work, it is exhausting and I definitely wouldn't manage it if I was pregnant it was really starting to get me down, causing rows at home and I just generally was fed up with the whole set up horses and kids are hard and I really don't think, unless they were at home, that it's possible to do it alone.
In 2 weeks she is moving to a yard 10 minutes from my doorstep with assistance should I need it and I know this is going to make a huge huge difference (even if i am totally stressed at the though) so if I was in your position then I would be looking into getting him closer. I have found it hard since Rory was born and it's only now he is at nursery that I was starting to find the time again until Madam went lame that is!

Would his sharers be able to ride him still if he was closer to home?
Would it be possible to put him on a yard where his care is covered by them so when you go up you can concentrate purely on him, grooming, riding etc?

That said, from what you have written I feel your possibly already leaning towards full loan, if so a wanted advert is an excellent way to find someone and there would be no harm in following up potential suitable ones. If they are reasonably local then perhaps you could still pop over to ride a few times a month. I had a horse on loan and his owner used to come up and ride 3/4 times a month and it suited us both.

If all else fails at the end of the day so long as his basic needs are met it doesnt really matter about the rest.

Hope you find a suitable solution. x

[cheekychops]

Thanks so much Wills - I just don't know how you have coped - you are a super hero! I really hope things will be transformed for you when Ori moves nearer.

I have exhausted all options for local yards, and now one of my sharers has given up, so I'm only having help one day a week. I think I have really come to terms with the idea of a loan. It would definitely need to be to the right home and I'd like to visit and perhaps ride every now and then. I have a lady who sounds wonderful coming to meet him on Saturday so keeping everything crossed it goes well, and we'll take it from there.

[wills]

Jan 21, 2016 13:35:22 GMT 1 cheekychops said:

Thanks so much Wills - I just don't know how you have coped - you are a super hero! I really hope things will be transformed for you when Ori moves nearer.

I have exhausted all options for local yards, and now one of my sharers has given up, so I'm only having help one day a week. I think I have really come to terms with the idea of a loan. It would definitely need to be to the right home and I'd like to visit and perhaps ride every now and then. I have a lady who sounds wonderful coming to meet him on Saturday so keeping everything crossed it goes well, and we'll take it from there.

haha thanks, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone though and it would never have worked long term.

Hope the meet and greet went well and that yuo find the perfect match for your boy soon.

[cheekychops]

Just to give a little update to say that although the visit with the potential loaner went really well, I had a very strong gut feeling that I don't want to part with him. Amazingly a space has come up on a yard 5 minutes from home with full grass livery so all being well we'll move there in a month's time - keeping everything crossed! where there is a will there is a way eh?

[portiabuzz]

Wow that's great x