Stuck In The Middle Of Betrayal.Help

[sophie666]

My mum and dad have always had a rocky relationship and now have separate bedrooms.they don't go out together anymore and my dad works a lot so they don't see each other for more then about 30 mins every day.
I work with my dad and I answer his mobile for him when he leaves it in the office.he's not great with technology and recently when I had to answer his phone, when the call ended he had left some texts on the screen. From another woman.
Said it was really nice seeing him the other night and they would have to meet up again soon.I was shocked but didn't say anything.
Since then he has disappeared from work at times not saying where he's going.I've seen him round the back on his phone or sitting in the car. At weekends he's been going to work at 7:40, office closed at 4 but he won't b back till 8-9 at night.
I've seen more texts with kissies on since then n asking how we r (that really annoyed me) and if he's going to be around that evening etc.phone calls in his call log too.
I'm annoyed and upset that I'm stuck in the middle and feel really sorry for my mum.I know if I tell her it will cause world war 3.she's not stupid tho n has asked me once or twice if I think he's got another woman.if I confront my dad he's the type that just goes mental so with working with him I could ruin my job.
I really don't know what to do.I'm sure it sounds like I should keep my mouth shut n let it come out in its own time when I'm not in the middle. I just can't unknown this and my younger sister knows as she saw a text and I had to speak to her to keep quiet for now till we work out what to do. I feel constantly guilty when I'm around my mum and annoyed at my dad.
What would you do?

[julz]

I can see how you must feel having seen the texts, but are you 100% sure he's having a relationship with this woman? It could be totally platonic, just an excuse not to go home, or not to be at home. I think I would just stay out of things, if your mum asks again tell her to ask him. Neither should put pressure on you about what the other may or may not be up too. As for working, well when you are at work, family matters stay out of the work place, just as work matters stay at work. HTH xx (btw, two kisses, doesn't mean im going to deliver )

[sophy]

That is good advice Julz. It is not your business to get involved and not fair on you for either party to side with them in any way.
As an aside though, if your parents relationship is that bad, is it realistic to not expect one or the other of them to look for happiness with someone else? Why are they still together if they are not happy? Sorry if questions like this upset you but sometimes it is better to be prepared for what might be inevitable. You say your Dad goes mad if you confront him but is it possible to talk with out confrontation? Difficult I know when you are in the middle. Perhaps better to take Julz's advice and stay out of it.

[lroy]

What Julz says is true you don't know for certain and if possible its better not to get involved however I've been in your position when I was a child but it was my mum who was having an affair- I remember how awful it was having to keep secrets.
If you feel you can't talk to your Dad but feel you must do something why not write him a letter.

[ruthp]

Very difficult for you, but in general I agree with the others, it's not your place to either get involved or take sides.

However, if you really can't bear to keep quiet and are in danger of blurting something in the heat of the moment, you might be better off letting your dad know that you've seen the messages, without making any judgement about it. Something along the lines of "dad, maybe it's better if I don't answer your mobile at the moment, as I think there are some messages that I'd rather not know about.....".

[Deleted]

agreecwith all the adviceand second Ruth about not answering your dads mobile at work............what you don't know about you can't tell anyone.......

[portiabuzz]

umm i dont think it sounds anything bad, if they have been having problems then he may have found a good friend to talk to, and there is nothing wrong with that, it all sounds friendly to me

i put xxxx to loads of people on here / texts etc... lol

[julz]

Hope everything is alright Sophie666?

[portiabuzz]

hope your ok xx

[jen1]

second all the advice, you dont know for sure, but!nobody is immune from trying to make sense out of life and looking for happiness, stand back and let nature take its coarse,

[portiabuzz]

any update?