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Post by chantrelle on Feb 26, 2014 15:32:10 GMT 1
I have been married for 3 years now, been with my husband for 4 1/2 years. When I met him he was very fit (army trained) but smoked and drank.
He gave up smoking for me and hardly ever drinks but.....he has put on about 5 stone since.
Now I'll admit that I've put on a lot of weight and thats probably because I hate cooking so don't very often. We probably have a take away 4 times a week? However, I'm trying to sort it out. We live next door to a brilliant gym and I've been going (occasionally) and I'm starting to look slimmer (still weigh the same though so not quite sure what that's about?!)
I start a part time job cleaning in 2 weeks and pretty much I haven't been working otherwise. I stay home and look after the animals (and technically the house but that's rubbish as I hate housework!) so I know it's easier for me go to the gym or go for a long walk with the dogs. He works 10 hours a day driving so is fairly tired when he gets home. I understand that but he won't even go to the gym which is next door. He comes home, puts pyjama trousers on, asks for a drink of Coke and sits glued to the TV for the whole night. Then when the weekend comes around he says he will go to the gym but never does.
I'm really worried about his health. His sister has diabetes and he suffers from sleep apnea. That's really scary and I spend a lot of the night lying there making sure he stays breathing. It is related to weight/drinking/smoking and I have noticed that when he has a drink or two it gets 10x worse but it happens at least 3x a night without alcohol being involved.
I love him to pieces and he is my world. We have such fun together and we really are soul mates so I'd never leave him but I don't know what to do, it worries me so much I end up ill (and tired). I've told him that I have concerns but he just gets angry and calls me a hypocrite as I need to lose weight also.
Does anyone have any advice on this? I don't want to annoy him but I think something needs doing for the sake of his health
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Post by kizi on Feb 26, 2014 16:23:14 GMT 1
Has a doctor checked him out.. Blood pressure, cholesterol etc.. Maybe he might agree to go, to prove you wrong.. And either get an eye opener or you get a little peace of mind..
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Post by kizi on Feb 26, 2014 16:23:21 GMT 1
Has a doctor checked him out.. Blood pressure, cholesterol etc.. Maybe he might agree to go, to prove you wrong.. And either get an eye opener or you get a little peace of mind..
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Post by mollichop on Feb 26, 2014 17:09:41 GMT 1
Have you thought of trying a weight loss regime like slimming world?? some things you can eat by the plateful and still lose weight, main things to avoid are bread and dairy.
As a serial dieter myself, sometimes it can seem too daunting to even think about trying to lose weight so you go too far the other way and resist any and all encouragement.
If you did slimming world you would both be eating the same food so hopefully OH couldn't help but lose weight...... it does require some cooking though..... Good Luck
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Post by julz on Feb 26, 2014 17:54:09 GMT 1
four takeaways is a lot, there is so much fat in them, it really is unhealthy.. Try and cut down to maybe two a week, for a few weeks then cut down to one, then again to once a month..
Cooking isn't my forte either, but I can do simple meals like baked potato with baked beans (or cheese, or egg mayo, tuna mayo... list is endless) chicken fajitas, chili con carne, or cook some chicken and pour a nice indian/chinese sauce over it, or a chicken pasta bake.. as you get better you will think up more idea's. This in itself will make you lose weight as it's the takeaways that is making you gain. Plus they are very moresome..
If you love pizza, try this...
use a warburtons flat bread as base, use tomato passate or bolog sauce, then whatever topping you want, bit of cheese, in the oven gas mark 6/7 for 10 - 15 mins.. easy peasy.. you neer know.. hubby may like it too
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Post by Hannah on Feb 26, 2014 18:24:27 GMT 1
1 take him to the doctor
2 get a good, straight forward cook book. I have Jamie Oliver's Ministry of Food which is great, straight forward decent meals plus it gives variations on the same basic meal giving several different options such as casserole, hotpot, pie etc.
3 start menu planning, I try to cook something a couple of times a week that can be portioned out and some stuck in the freezer such as spag bol/pie mix/casserole.
4 consider booking into classes at the gym, or a dancing class they are much more fun, hubby might even come too.
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Post by antares on Feb 26, 2014 18:30:00 GMT 1
You can't force someone to lose weight unfortunately. A lot of people will put weight on when they stop smoking but if he has will power to stop the fags he should have enough will power to lose weight - it has to be his decision though or won't see it through.
I can't blame him for not wanting to go to the gym, boring dull hell holes IMO. How about trying to find something sporty you can do together, a game like badminton or tennis or going walking or cycling together?
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Post by julz on Feb 26, 2014 19:14:20 GMT 1
you also cannot force someone to go to the doctor, weather they are ill or not.
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Post by maryanne on Feb 26, 2014 19:44:40 GMT 1
My husband also works long hours & needs to relax. To get healthy, we menu planned like others have mentioned. There are so many healthy meals you can easily make & freeze & are easy to bung in the microwave in the week. Or just boil up some veg/new potaoes & put a healthy pie in the oven (hardly any cooking required!) We try to keep 1 night a week as 'treat night' where we will have a takeaway or some chocolate. This was mostly as an incentive to eat the healthy food (I.e. If we eat healthy all week we can have a treat on a saturday). For exercise we found gyms boring & rarely went. Instead do stuff together- go for walks or cycle rides (a cycle ride to the pub is always a good incentive!). We found exercising first thing in the morning was best as you have less time to talk yourself out of it & it makes you feel great for the rest of the day!  Sent from my GT-I9505 using proboards |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2014 19:58:43 GMT 1
Stir fries are the easiest thing in the world to cook........chicken ,steak whatever meat you like, get some veggies chop finely or buy them ready prepped and a sauce as well.............ready in minutes, healthy as well, and I defy anyone to not cook one no matter how much or little cooking knowledge they might have.........same with buying a slow cooker and putting meat and veggies in it first thing in the morning and in the evening you have a lovely healthy home cooked meal........
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Post by cookie on Feb 26, 2014 20:19:06 GMT 1
My oh has lost about six stone over two or three years. He got a personal trainer for a bit, expensive but got him started. Cut out all pasta bread and potatoes. This isn't Atkins, he still eats other veg and fruit. But it is a lifestyle change. We probably ate pasta, rice or potatoes most nights. Now pasta or rice is an occasional treat altho I still eat potatoes We eat meat or fish, veg and salad, simple meals. We're having take away tonight, my oh is having squid and prawns from the starters menu and salad from the fridge. He then found www.britmilfit.com/ which isn't as expensive as gym and he finds more fun. A year in and he signed up for www.toughguy.co.uk/He's done one of those each year with smaller events in between such as www.nuclear-races.co.uk/index.php/events/lactic-fallout/I wonder whether with your ohs background this kind of thing might be more appealing than gym. Now if only I could get mine to give up the fags.... Sent from my GT-I9100 using proboards |
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Post by cookie on Feb 26, 2014 20:20:51 GMT 1
And the sleep apnea, mine had that when bigger. No symptoms now.
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Post by jennyb on Feb 26, 2014 21:22:55 GMT 1
Cookie, good idea re those, my fiancé is doing a wolf run soon and is looking forward to it. He hates normal running but is really looking forward to an assault course thingy. He's ex-Army too. His incentive is wanting to look buff for our wedding, bless him, but he's only max one stone overweight. We also do stuff together like dog walking and looking after Gazdag, but we also go to the gym or swimming together when time allows. I'm more keen on fitness stuff than he is, but he's game to join in!
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Post by clipclop on Feb 26, 2014 23:04:22 GMT 1
You hate cooking so you don't.
He doesn't want to go to the gym so why should he?
10 hours working a day, concentrating whilst driving is tiring. I don't blame him for not wanting to go to the gym afterwards.
If you're not working or only going to be doing part time, why not make the effort to cook healthy meals. You may find it gives him more energy if he's not having a takeaway 4 nights a week.
Cookie, I'd be intrigued to know how soon your oh's apnea settled down? Was it the dietary change or only once he actually lost all the weight?
Why is it that to lose weight, people instantly opt for the gym? It doesn't work if you keep the same lifestyle and just add a gym session a few times a week. Get eating healthily, do active things together such as walking, cycling, gardening, even housework or decorating are better than nothing, and you'll get quality time together at the same time as getting healthier.
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