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Post by kt with Hanni on Feb 21, 2014 23:24:55 GMT 1
Hi everyone, It's been many years since posting on here. I used to use this forum regularly having a difficult cob who I lost my confidence on in open spaces for bucking and jumping for refusals. Now he has sadly passed away I am loaning a new horse with view to buy. I had always said the next horse needs to be right for me as don't want to repeat mistakes with my old boy. I was looking for a been there and done it type but this chap is not quite that. He's a dream to handle ( not used to that!) but a bit sensitive and feels his rider and requires confidence from them. I did have fearful emotions with my old boy in open spaces and now I still get frightened when I go to ride on grass! So I rode this new horse on grass and did worry that he would get hot headed but not at all which was lovely. He does ' look' at things puts his head up ( he has a high head carriage) and I slightly tensed. Now I'm very conscious he's a sensitive chap so I need to show him the way. I do often worry about the 'what ifs' so how do I get this out of my head so that I give him the confidence? I wear a body protector which gives me more confidence as I worry about falling. So that's good. Just wondered what your other tips are to repress the negative thoughts? I'm desperate to make us compatible and want to start on a positive from the beginning. I've just downloaded Kelly's book perfect confidence so hope this helps  Thanks |
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Post by alonerawnut on Feb 22, 2014 7:13:29 GMT 1
I have confidence issues if I'm on an unfamiliar horse and they start to act up or get excited - it's something I'm working on! My advice would be the same to anyone getting to know a new horse, but particularly if you're trying to control anxiety as well: start small and simple. Do little things with him, even just simple, basic stuff, whether it's groundwork, riding in a school or small paddock or out hacking. Praise him a lot and you'll kind of praise yourself too: "well done, that was amazing, we're such an awesome team!" *High-five!* (Even if it's only a mental high-five). That way you'll both start off in a positive, comfortable place, from where you can start to do more challenging things, rather than dropping in at the deep end by doing something that might freak either one of you out.
If you then do try something new and it makes either one of you anxious, you'll have some simple things already established to go back to, whether it's a basic groundwork exercise or riding in a particular, safe place. It'll give you both a chance to get to know each other and build up some trust.
One thing I'm trying to do with regards to building confidence in open spaces / over jumps etc is finding horses to ride that are generally safe and calm - that way I experience a bit of speed over jumps or riding out in the open without starting out tense / worried. Then I can remember that feeling when I'm riding a horse that's more challenging and feel more sure of my riding skills: I pretend I'm riding my perfect, slightly naughty pony and the odd buck or burst of speed is actually fun! My body seems to know what it's doing, so I just have to convince my mind.
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Post by ladyndibs on Feb 22, 2014 10:01:47 GMT 1
Everybodies idea of confidence differs, my lack of it would show in that I would shake head to toe, feel sick and even at times find myself in tears, just getting on a bomb proof cob, getting off would have the same effect too, I think it was the relief lol.
Obviously my issue was a bit more severe than most, I used to run through a ride in my head prior to actually going out, the lovely feeling of relaxation when you're ambling along, oops then a car comes, minor panic, but I ued to visualise us waiting calmly at the side until the car had gone............. you get the picture.
I found it really helped, the other big thing was I usually ride with a friend who was very careful only to push me a little bit so each time we went out I'd done a bit more or coped with something a little differant. I will never be a confident rider though on Aunty Blaze my friend's horse I have surprised myself, she can be very strong and my friend changed her bit for one with very little poll pressure, Blaze decided instead of a gentle canter up the field she tank off, effectively I had no brakes, Oh sh*t, but I was able to steer her towards a huge hedge so she had the choice of either slowing down or going through it, she slowed down and I was still able to laugh about it at the time and not desolve into a quaking heap, needless to say her bit was changed back!
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Post by lesleyking1 on Feb 23, 2014 19:27:20 GMT 1
My body seems to know what it's doing, so I just have to convince my mind.[/quote]
LOL opposite for me; the mind knows what it wants but the poor old body can't keep up
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Post by portiabuzz on Feb 24, 2014 16:16:07 GMT 1
hacking buddy to talk with takes your mind off it, talking about whats around me if am on my own - running commentry sort of thing |
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Post by cookie on Feb 24, 2014 18:15:09 GMT 1
firstly, with a LVTB you are in a great position to get to know the horse. Is he staying at original yard? Will you move him? I would start at the very beginning. Get used to leading this horse around. Do your perfect manners exercises you get to know exactly how he responds to things on the ground. Then when mounted concentrate on control. Transitions, shapes, over poles, between poles. Working up to trying some trec type stuff. This can all be done in an enclosed area. Then get onto grass. An enclosed field will do, or a short track nearby. If company helps you both then go with company. If company makes you more nervous then leave them behind. Firstly walk, halt, leg yeld on grass. Then short trots, building up slowly. Stay within your comfort zone to begin with but set your self small targets to build on. Learn what you can from guys owner about likes and dislikes, about his routines and feed so you can keep things as similar as possible if you do moved him. Most of all, smile, breathe, and enjoy Sent from my GT-I9100 using proboards |
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Post by portiabuzz on Feb 25, 2014 11:30:44 GMT 1
 ! |
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Post by kt with Hanni on Feb 27, 2014 0:39:08 GMT 1
Thanks for the tips I'm definitely getting to know him in the school which is great after a good session I've been walking /trotting out with someone on foot ( I'd do this with any horse I'm getting to know) he's been fab so far. Not hot headed on grass at all. Very soft mouth and not strong. Pleasure to do ground work with. Just getting to know his ways is fantastic. I'm grateful to be in this position as normally you only try a horse maybe twice and have to make a decision! He's staying at present yard for now anyway while I get to know him and while he is settled so I know what his true character is like. Fingers crossed it works. If I can canter him out and about I'll be happy! |
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Post by ladyndibs on Feb 27, 2014 9:51:31 GMT 1
Pleased to hear things are going well and that you are able to take time getting to know him though it sounds as though you've taken a bit of shine to him already,
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Post by portiabuzz on Feb 27, 2014 14:46:11 GMT 1
i see from your other post that you took him out and about  good on you xxx |
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Post by kt with Hanni on Mar 2, 2014 20:57:58 GMT 1
Hi everyone, Good hack today considering it was windy! The first hack with company! Tacked up ready to mount and Cody spooked at someone he didn't see but only a little and calmed down quickly. Walked out with another pony. Quite ploddy but will speed up when asked. Trotted for a while on the old airfield. Unexpected came across my friend riding her horse so we ended up walking as a group of three. Cody hadn't met her horse but didn't seem fazed and just carried on. He likes to have his head up and look around which can appear a bit un-nervy but I'm reading Kelly's perfect confidence book which is helping me. I just keep positive and my leg on.. At least if he looks at something or seems uneasy he isn't on his toes at all just had his head up which I prefer to having a horse feeling coiled! So we just walked and trotted as my friend didn't have brakes so decided not worth going any faster! We departed from friends horse with our original friend and he seemed a bit reluctant but just kept leg on and he went. So all in all a great ride and so far my confidence keeps increasing each time I ride and get to know him. When I come back to yard I don't want to get off! Good sign! Small steps! Next to hack out and go on some roads to see how he is in traffic! thanks for reading my blog! |
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Post by ladyndibs on Mar 2, 2014 21:37:04 GMT 1
Really pleased for you, sounds as though you seem to have summed him up pretty well, I look forward to hearing more.
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Post by alonerawnut on Mar 3, 2014 8:40:45 GMT 1
That sounds fantastic! You're doing awesome training without even trying: meeting a strange horse, riding together for a while then separating. Congratulations!
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Post by cookie on Mar 3, 2014 11:24:49 GMT 1
Well done. What a great opportunity to get to know this guy before you commit. He sounds like a keeper so far Sent from my GT-I9100 using proboards |
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Post by ruthp on Mar 7, 2014 15:31:54 GMT 1
Sounds like you're doing really well. Keep at it. When I was trying to regain confidence I found the following things helpful:
1. Lessons with an instructor you trust. I found I was concentrating so hard on what I was being asked to do that there wasn't room in my head for the annoying "what if" voice.
2. Hacking with a friend, chatting and laughing - chatting and laughing keeps you relaxed and breathing properly so you can't hold too much tension. Helps your horse relax too.
3. If you're riding on your own, try and think about something else! Sounds a bit mad, but again it's all about filling you brain with things other than anxiety. I used to describe the route from Rutland to Cornwall out loud. Poor Bali, she could probably get there by herself now, but just having something else to focus on stopped me get tense and anxious.
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good on you xxx