Confidence gone after break from riding after major surgery

[marjorie56]

I had major surgery in 2012 and I have only partial hearing now and balance issues. My big gentle horse tries his best for me and we only can ride at weekends my balance is rubbish at canter (unless I stand in stirrups!) I would love to have a quiet hack but we are on a very busy road and I panic that I wont hear the traffic well enough and have got a stupid idea in my head that if I come off where would he go! I know this is in my head! my horsey friends sadly live too far away to come over and some of them have the same issues with the road! Any ideas would be appreciated-I am even considering asking my other half to walk beside me!! I feel such a plonker I used to be fearless!! I also feel unsure about riding in the big open field in case he gets too excited!!

[lesleyking1]

OMG I have some of these issues and there is nothing wrong with me LOL!

I think you are doing well admitting to having a knock to your confidence and not giving in. You are on exactly the right path and your comments made me think of how you would deal with a young horse and building its confidence, so walking it out on the road in hand, your just needing to apply this to yourself, why not! is there another horse that you could be led from (although it sounds as though you haven't horsey mates nearby, but you could think of advertising locally for someone looking to hack out, if they have a very reliable horse)Other half sounds a great idea, your lucky to have one that would be up for it (or doesn't he know yet?), don't feel silly I've had many lead rein rides round the village on my 16'2 TB, I think every body must look at me at think 'surely that's not the right horse to have pony rides on'!

[ruthp]

I'd echo what Lesley says about asking your OH to lead you - I did that too when trying to regain confidence after an incident with a bolter and subseqent reconstruction surgery. If it helps, who cares what anyone else thinks?

Also, with regards to you not being able to hear the traffic... This might actually be a good thing! Let me explain. In my opinion, one of the biggest causes of horse anxiety and therefore reaction is a rider tensing up in anticipation of some perceived danger. So if you are riding a horse who is unconcerned about traffic, it won't matter if he is aware of the traffic before you are, in fact your lack of reaction will reassure him that he is right not to be worried.

When my husband learnt to ride on my pony, I forget to tell him that she didn't like lorries. Guess what? She didn't react at all when they met a lorry, which told me that she was reacting to my anticipation of danger, and not the lorry at all. A big lesson for me.

So, get your OH to walk around with you if you can, gain some confidence in your lovely horse, and take it from there. Your balance will probably improve the more time you spend in the saddle, so just take it gently. Don't beat yourself up that you are no longer the rider you once were. Neither am I, nor many of us here, but we can still enjoy riding in our own quiet ways!

[portiabuzz]

dont feel a plonker you are so brave to get back on and ride, and how lovely of your OH to support you ! do whatever you are comfortable with and dont be put off doing what you love

[Deleted]

Agree with the others get OH to lead you, and sod what everyone else thinks! Not being able to fully hear traffic might not be a bad thing, that way you can't get all tense when you hear something approaching.

Remember you've had major durgery, and you've been brave enough to get back in the saddle, I haven't even tried it yet.......and my surgery was 2 years ago now, but in my case my daughter won't let me ride her arabs, which is not ab ad thing as I really don;t think I could pull one of them up if they started to prat about with me.........will have to try and find a nice safe boltproof total plod for me, or start carriage driving........so you just take your time and do whatever makes you feel better..........in timeyou'll be back to your fearless self again xxxx

[portiabuzz]

hear hear!!!

[marjorie56]

Thanks so much for your replies it makes me feel much better I know its going to take time and I hadn't thought about the traffic thing! Dubs was great in traffic before so I guess I'll have to trust him he deserves that! Will keep you posted!

[ladyndibs]

I hadn't been through surgery but was very nervous (still am) and the first time I went out on Aunty Blaze BJMM took a lead rope with her incase I got really worried and when I first got on my arab after nearly 4yrs she led me round for a short while before we went out, if your OH is willing to lead let him. If it helps that would be great if it doesn't there is nothing lost and like others have said don't worry about what others may be thinking, chances are there would be a lot people wishing they had the nerve to get back on.
Good luck.

[alonerawnut]

Even if your OH doesn't want to lead / can't do it, just having someone walking along beside will help - if he's wearing hi-vis it'll be an extra warning for drivers. Then you can build up to him walking ahead / behind for a bit, gradually getting further away but still being around if you needed help. When we take our cob out, I always have someone walking nearby with a long lead rope and whenever something scary crops up I go straight on the line! Just pretend he's a big youngster in training! (No one will know!)

Could you find someone else nearby who could ride your horse out in the field the first couple of times for you, just in case it's a bit exciting, so that by the time you ride out it's a bit boring? Whereabouts are you?

Just think - standing in your stirrups for canter will do amazing things for your core muscles and your balance!

[clipclop]

Do you think your balance issues are as a result of issues with your ears or the fact that you've lost the muscles you had before? If it's a case of lost muscle, build up as much as you can off of a horse; pilates, swimming, a horse simulator like the one lisap has. Then when you are on board, exercises and stretches to deepen your seat. The more secure your position, the more confident you will feel :-)

Sent from my C6603 using proboards

[marjorie56]

Hi all, thanks again for making me feel more positive I have a few weeks off work soon so I feel a challenge coming on! My balance issues are caused by irrepairable nerve damage in my head! but its manageable and I have learned to cope riding has really helped! I agree if I can get back to riding more securely we will move on I am sure! I have plenty volunteers to ride dubs I guess I am stubborn and want to do it myself! Comes from being Scottish I think!
Thank you all again

[portiabuzz]

glad your feeling more positive xx