margom
Novice Poster
Posts: 17
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Post by margom on Jan 25, 2013 23:56:41 GMT 1
Will baby steps, walking trotting, trotting poles actually lead to me being able to do a x-country course, charity rides, create a loving partnership with my new first horse (I'm 40). I'm a nervous rider/handler but have lots of support. Am I a freak that I freak out bout being on my own with her? I was left so far for about 6 mins, I could only walk.i have got better with being in stable on my own with her, picking out feet, and putting rug on. Still need help with tack.
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Post by fth on Jan 28, 2013 0:07:21 GMT 1
yes they will -- these baby steps will be your foundation of confidence and will make a huge difference check out some of the articles on this blog for more stuff about confidence: www.effectivehorsemanship.wordpress.comCathy
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Post by kizi on Jan 28, 2013 0:13:04 GMT 1
If you try to rush or force it you will regret it! Baby steps is the best way to build confidence, trust and a good bond! Go at a pace that you are comfortable with and soon you will find yourself wanting to push a little more! And don't be afraid to ask for help/advice when you need it, better ask too soon than regret waiting! And congratulations!!
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Post by curlytobiano on Feb 2, 2013 10:48:44 GMT 1
Congratulations margom on getting your first horse! I got mine at 43. Yes baby steps every time. For your first XC you can do it on the lead rein if you want . Good luck :-)
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Post by ingebing on Feb 2, 2013 14:12:00 GMT 1
You are doing really well - I got my first horse 2 years ago and it is very scary. I have to say my confidence to ride is at an all time low and I need to start again after falling off end of last year. The ground work does give you confidence -take your time, I found my horse very forgiving and patient !! Trying to work out putting on a bridle etc is hard when you are not used to it- other people always make it look so easy don't they! Its good to have support where you are not judged but just helped. I have found a few people that I trust their judgement to ask and have read about horse care etc to form my own opinions about things. Trust your instinct - it sounds like you are doing fine. I have managed 2 years of horse ownership and today he looks in good condition, appears happy and contented and his personality is the same as when I got him so I guess I am doing ok and you will too. The main things I have learnt is the horse looks to you as the leader and to be confident around the (easier said than done!!) and to treat with respect and kindness and I think the bond is created. This morning I was walking around my field with my boy following on just behind, everytime I stopped he stopped and then continued following me. Which was great but due to the wet soggy, muddy ground was a bit splashed down the back of my coat !! Good luck and have fun with your horse.
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Post by curlytobiano on Feb 3, 2013 10:32:46 GMT 1
Well done ingebing do read Cathys confidence blogs too they are excellent
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margom
Novice Poster
Posts: 17
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Post by margom on Feb 3, 2013 18:52:07 GMT 1
Thank you all for support, it really does help to feel not alone😃. It's all highs lows and lulls! Ill keep trying and asking for help when I need it. My hubby and daughter are all confidence and competence. I won't let them take over though. She's my mare! The riding school I go to are brilliant to. I was checking out Tai Chi on horse back! Anyone ever try that?
What about the freaking out when there's no one there when i ride, i get more (desperately) nervous? Is that just too weird?
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Post by curlytobiano on Feb 3, 2013 23:25:44 GMT 1
No, not weird. when I feel nervous about going out by myself I make sure I am wearing my body protector, and have my mobile phone with me. I know that people will be up to do evening feeds etc and would see my horse if she came home without me! Or if I really feel nervous I would write on the whiteboard what time I have gone out. You can always rub it out when you get back! On occasion I have asked non horsey OH to come out with me on foot. Once you have taken every possible precaution you will feel less nervous (that is what fear is for).
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nomdeac
Intermediate Poster
Posts: 177
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Post by nomdeac on May 11, 2013 17:27:59 GMT 1
I've been involved with all kinds of ponies at a top class level of showing for 37 years now but I'm not as advanced or brave as you as a rider. Well done and keep going and focus on those dreams when ever you can. Good luck.
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Post by ruthp on May 14, 2013 9:29:48 GMT 1
As others have said, baby steps is absolutely the right way to go. I'd also recommend lots of groundwork because that way you can develop a relationship with your horse without putting too much pressure on yourself to ride. And as you get to know each other the confidence will slowly improve. Get a copy of Perfect Partners and work through the exercises - it's good fun and really helps you get confidence in each other.
In my experience regaining riding confidence can only happen by getting on and riding, but you need to set yourself and your horse up for that to be a good experience. And don't be afraid to look stupid. When I was trying to recover from loss of confidence aged 44 my husband led me round the village on a lead rein. Now, four years on I can ride alone, in company, and once again am really enjoying life with my horse.
Don't let anyone tell you to do more than you feel comfortable with, but do try and push yourself just a little bit when you feel things are going well. And if there are people around who don't understand what you are going through, and think the answer is to just "get on with it" ignore them! They simply do not understand the physical impact of an emotional reaction.
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Black Bob
Olympic Poster
"Never confuse your career with your life." (Dave Barry)
Posts: 614
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Post by Black Bob on May 25, 2013 13:42:16 GMT 1
Will baby steps, walking trotting, trotting poles actually lead to me being able to do a x-country course, charity rides, create a loving partnership with my new first horse (I'm 40). I'm a nervous rider/handler but have lots of support. Am I a freak that I freak out bout being on my own with her? I was left so far for about 6 mins, I could only walk.i have got better with being in stable on my own with her, picking out feet, and putting rug on. Still need help with tack. I agree with the other posters who've said "baby steps are the way to go"; that's my experience, too - especially after getting my first horse when I was 65! How far you will be able to go I don't know - all you can do is to keep slowly building your confidence and skills and see where they take you. But what I'm absolutely sure of is that if you push yourself too fast, too soon, you won't go forwards - you'll go backwards. No. Your nervousness about that makes a lot more sense than me freaking out at being in the same room as a medium sized spider, or, even worse, a moth! Neither of which could do me any harm at all! As long as you are gradually stretching your comfort zone, and remembering that we do this horse stuff for pleasure, how slowly you progress doesn't matter a damn. Not to you - and certainly not to your horse! And if other people "can't see what you are fussing about" - so what?
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margom
Novice Poster
Posts: 17
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Post by margom on Jun 11, 2013 23:14:05 GMT 1
I haven't been on here for a while and was delighted when I read your replies. Since last I posted... I have been going through the catching of a horse out on first grass, which went from walking up to her, chasing her for various lengths of time to back to being able to walk up to her, halter her lead her back to stable. I tack her, she can resist bit still, but I can insist now (don't like the eye she gives me). I try to be as gentle and smooth as I can. Also at a certain point on her girth area, when I'm doing up her girth, she can swing her neck round, hasn't bit but emm.
I have been doing jump day at riding school, doing a course of 8 jumps 50cms ! That was till I fell off I lost contact after an awkward jump she went right and I went right! Landed on post & rail, I think the dent in my behind is permanent ! I couldnt sit on a chair not to think of a saddle for a week! I went back to lessons and the following week the lady in riding school allowed me to come early and do it by myself. I did 4 jumps 40 cm ish. The following weeks lesson I fell off again, 2nd jump in double , went into jump position to early, she put in a big jump, déjà vu. I was in a blue knot about doing jump day, really thought I should just give up. OH met me at stables, had a melt down. I forgot to say though when i went to bring her in the day before she whinnied out really and was in an argumentative mood with other mares, a bit wide eyed and hoppy & really loudly whining. When I rode her that day ( sat before jump day) she was side stepping wanting to curl round go her own way. I joined a child's lesson and couldn't stop freaking! I was demoralised! I did canter her on right rein. Ok but wasn't up to left, this ruined me for jump day! I think more than falls! It's prob all if it! Head up and whinnying to her field mates made he feel out of control.
I went round course trotted jumps were 40 ish twice and cantered round for a victory lap OH at this point thinks I'm attention seeking! I don't understand me either! I
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margom
Novice Poster
Posts: 17
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Post by margom on Dec 30, 2013 0:15:53 GMT 1
Is everyone after getting over all confidence issues where is everyone? I'm stuck ! Where does Kelly & co stand on Rick Gore ? Nerves and how they effect the horse , in particular? It sends me in a spin! I'm afraid I'm teaching her (my mare) all manner of bad things! I have to face fear, control my responses to it and be honest while doing it, is it all actually possible?
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Post by ladyndibs on Dec 30, 2013 14:24:17 GMT 1
I'll never be experienced but I do have a bit more confidence than I used to. I had a problem with my mare, the others were fine, and I had to go right back to basics with her, she wasn't bad tempered or in any way nasty just very scared of pretty much anything and everything which proved to be a little difficult finding the balance between being strong enough to be leader but not too strong that would run before I got a headcollar on her. Could you try that going back to basics and as you get more confident and able to handle each stage give yourself a big pat on the back. In one of the earlier posts Kelly's perfect partners was recommended perhaps use that and recap what you've already covered. Hopefully someone with more varied experience will be able to offer some sound advice.
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Post by portiabuzz on Jan 2, 2014 12:22:18 GMT 1
hi happy new year all x Did you ever get an RA out? x
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