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Post by midimoos on Jan 10, 2012 0:37:07 GMT 1
I have been looking back at my pictures of midi, and i have learnt from them, she was not happy for the last month and i can tell by her eyes. I held on too long and I hope someone else will look at theres in the same way and make the decision at the right time. Its hard but honestly the right thing to do and they wont hold a grudge just live forever on watching over you x
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Post by ladyndibs on Jan 10, 2012 0:44:41 GMT 1
Please don't give yourself a hard time, it's all too easy to look back afterwards and be critical.
At the time you made what you felt was the right decision and I doubt she loved you any less for wanting her with you a little longer.
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Post by jen1 on Jan 10, 2012 0:45:23 GMT 1
your right there, i learnt this lesson year ago, hence why i had my old gal pts a few weeks ago,
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Post by kizi on Jan 10, 2012 0:46:46 GMT 1
I agree, my old lady isn't that old at 23, but life is too much effort with arthritis and other issues. Osteos have said she's not in huge pain yet bute improves her 'eye'
To me she is sad and I have tried to help and no longer can keep her happy, she's on buteless, has the company she chose, and she's had enough. Osteo and others have said she's not that bad and I'm wrong but I've known her a long time and I know I'm right now. I have spent the last few months trying to keep her happy and cannot. She's going soon to join her son who we lost 3 years ago and her pal we lost last feb. I think it's what she wants. So hard to do the right thing and know its right.......
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Post by rosemaryhannah on Jan 10, 2012 1:27:29 GMT 1
There is no way of knowing the precise right moment - bluntly, some people chose one that is a little late, and some one that is a little early - unless the animal is in immediate screaming agony, there is nothing to reproach oneself with for waiting a few weeks too long, of choosing to go a month early. Please, do not beat yourself up. Guilt often follows grief - just accept that some regrets are all part of the grieving process.
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Post by jill on Jan 10, 2012 9:40:31 GMT 1
As they say, hindsight is 20/20, if you had made the decision to let her go earlier you might now be wondering if there had been some treatment you hadn't tried that would make all the difference. To just quietly and gently put the lights out is the best you can do, there is no cure for old age deterioration.
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Post by zack&buffysmum on Jan 10, 2012 14:22:01 GMT 1
Dont be hard on yourself - it's easy to say after the event that you could have done things differently but you need to be 110% sure in your own mind that it is the right thing to do and sometimes it takes a bit of time to come to that conclusion.
I lost my Zack in october and I think probably I also left it a bit too long but If I had done it as soon as I was told that there was nothing that could be done for him - which was about 3 weeks or a month before I had him pts - I'd probably still be wondering now if I'd done the right thing.
I needed to try other things AND get my head round it for my own peace of mind.
big hugs to you x
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Post by kizi on Jan 11, 2012 22:49:37 GMT 1
I agree, my old lady isn't that old at 23, but life is too much effort with arthritis and other issues. Osteos have said she's not in huge pain yet bute improves her 'eye' To me she is sad and I have tried to help and no longer can keep her happy, she's on buteless, has the company she chose, and she's had enough. Osteo and others have said she's not that bad and I'm wrong but I've known her a long time and I know I'm right now. I have spent the last few months trying to keep her happy and cannot. She's going soon to join her son who we lost 3 years ago and her pal we lost last feb. I think it's what she wants. So hard to do the right thing and know its right....... When I wrote that I'd no idea how quick my girl would go down hill. In the last few days shes more depressed and less comfortable in her body  vet coming fri to assess. I hope and pray I haven't left it too late |
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Post by donnalex on Jan 12, 2012 9:10:07 GMT 1
I went to breeding talk recently with Johanna Vardon. One of the biggest things she had to say was please 'please please dont keep your old mares going on for too long'. But nobody is infallible and what is way too long for one horse is not long enough for another, they are just like people it all comes down to life, genetics and some luck. Im one of those people who possibly jumps in too soon both with horses and with dogs as I just cant stand to see them going downhill but I have wondered occasionally if I could have tried something else, if I have made the decision a bit too rashly to save myself the misery as it is me who cant deal with frail or ill animals. It is a very personal decision and as long as it can be said the horse didnt suffer then you should have no guilt at all  |
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cuffey
Olympic Poster
Posts: 962
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Post by cuffey on Jan 12, 2012 11:21:33 GMT 1
These are very difficult decisions
I let one of mine go in Sept
He struggled so much in the very cold weather last winter--hardly moved
Then had reasonable summer but all the signs were bad winter again but he would have been fine on the soft ground
So guilty feelings some days and I do miss him
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Post by kizi on Jan 12, 2012 12:19:05 GMT 1
Ya I was the same she was doing ok but I knew wouldn't if the extreme cold came again so I was kinda waiting for that and it's not come...she was quite happy recently as has adopted a 2yo filly and it gave her a new lease of life but I think that has worn off now... Will see what vet says. It'd be easier if she was in poor condition but the fact she's a good doer I am constantly battling to keep her weight down so that's hard on her joints too....
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vet coming fri to assess. I hope and pray I haven't left it too late 