Confidence crash- dealing with it!

[kya]

I feel like I have slipped back about ten months having not been able to ride as regularly as before because of an injury to my arm. I mention this because I can't emphasise enough (from experiment base- Kya) that riding, riding and more riding is the only way to fight back at nerves. Once I stop for even a week, I'm back swilling Rescue Remedy. The extra ingredient in all this is my super-confident neighbour who is back on her horse after pregnancy and baying for me to join her on hacks. 'I wonder which of them will have to be out front' she says gleefully. I've done everything from 'his shoes are loose' to 'we're having afternoon nooky' (OH and me- don't get funny) to put her off. Now another woman has joined her on a huge showjumper. I'm just about cantering calmly by myself in the woods but the idea of this posse whipping past my ears reduces me to jelly. Took Blue out this morning and he was spooking and napping all over the place. I had just read a Michael Peace book and gave him his head at all times, encouraging him through it. We met two vile dogs who ran around his heels for several hundred yards. He was fantastic. Still screwing my courage to the sticking place, I took a good fast trot in the lashing rain and we did some lateral work too, but OMG am I having to make an effort guys.

[stybba]

Right, first off, stop making excuses to your neighbour. Losing your confidence is a fact, it happens you are dealing with it. There is nothing to be ashamed of, and no reason to fib about it (and certainly no reason to start sharing details of your nooky arrangements, eww! ;D).

Explain to your neighbour what you are going through, and say that you would be delighted to hack with her on those days when she is having a quiet mosey round the block.

I think you are doing brilliantly well and you have absolutely nothing to give yourself a hard time about.

Horsemanship is not about charging madly around the countryside, you know it, I know it, we all know it!

Here endeth the lecture!

;D ;D ;D

[kya]

Thanks Stybba, I somehow posted this post twice. Very uplifting. Thanks.

[Oranges]

I can really sympathise with you with your confidence...i was there not long ago. You will get there. You are going the right way...i know it dosen't feel like it right now...but least you are getting on and riding, even though it is an effort. Now whatever you do don't stop. I started bottling it when i lost my confidence on Bonnie...and before i new it it was months since i'd ridden her...infact hadn't ridden at all. Made it so much harder getting back on any horse and working with my confidence...only just got it back....not on Bonnie though I wish i'd tried harder with Bonnie...though i'm sure i'll be able to ride her before long.
Sorry my post isn't really helpful lol

[kya]

I hope you reconnect with your horse. It's so easy to get into this spiral of negative thought. All the best. Kya.

[miggy]

Aww kya , i wish we could have a nice hack out together, just nice and slow dealing with little things as they happen.

[Gail&Merlin]

Dont let anyone push you further than you are prepared to go..and be honest about it...i was in a very similar situaion a few yrs back, i was starting to get there, when my friend who events very successfully! suggested i go with her on some hacks for some confidence with company...well, it was like a helter skelter ride...her horse spooked at everything, encouraging mine to jump and snort, making me constantly on edge, eventually riding a horse that was frightend because i was....her horse did a big spook, threw her off, horse bolted and mine took off after her horse, i stayed on..jumping dykes and everything...in a way it should of boosted my confidence, the fact i stayed on, eventually catchin her horse and riding back to her...that felt good...but it shattered my confidence ...i was worse then than before...so all im saying is...have your own comfort zone and only you can tell you when to widen that zone, you may never get ultra confident...but a few nerves are a good thing anyway...alot of accidents happen to cocky people who think they are infallable...lol...