Looking for first horse - how embarrassing!!!

[didi]

Some of you may remember me posting on here and saying 'I will be looking for my first horse very soon', well, we are there... we are actually looking/viewing and trying now. So far we have arranged 4 viewings and I have ridden 3 horses, so far so good, so why embarrassing you might ask...

Well here goes... I have been out of the saddle for just over a year and didn't realise what an unfit, unconfident stiff I have become!

The first horse we saw was ok if a little too big for me at 17.2, he was a been there done it type but over-all not suitable as he had mainly been a hunter, I found him hard work in walk and trot, but too strong in canter; and my legs (well upper and inner groin area !!) was painful for over a week after riding him! Not such a bad experience you might think... well it gets worse... Second viewing, 15.0 cob, walk, trot and even a little spook - all fine, but didn't canter him, I felt comfortable with him; but wasn't quite sure of myself and my own abilities any more... Ok, still not so bad ?? Third viewing - a been there done it all schoolmistress, absolutely stunning looking, perfect size for me etc, but then... no arena, only a field to ride her, lots of eyes watching... Gulp! I watched nervously but thought 'Yes she's really nice, I like her', as her present owner rode her and jumped her over a little fence and made it all look so easy. My turn came. I felt such an absolute novice... walking - fine. trotting - fine until she broke into canter without me realising I had asked her to!?!?!? (My advisor/friend says the mare was a finely tuned horse, and because of the way I ride (or the way I have been taught to ride) is probably why she cantered; and these things happen, we have all been there and done it and not to worry about it.)

Now my confidence is now in pieces......

I have been riding on and off for years and had got to a stage where I would call myself a competant novice after doing my first clear round last year and even starting a few xc lessons, albeit only a log on the ground after a deeply dug out and empty ditch!; so thought I would get on with such a schoolmistress; but how could I be so wrong?! After 14 months out of the saddle, I tipped forward in canter then worried about the speed of the canter so then wanted to trot again, I wouldn't have dared jumped her; and all this has made me realise that I am not as good as I thought I was; and I feel once again like a complete and utter novice that shouldn't even be looking for their first horse yet!

This is a childhood dream and I have waited all my life to be able to have my very own horse, but my wonderful horsey bubble has been burst - big style!

I am booking in for some private lessons to try and get back to the level of riding (and confidence) I was 14 months ago. We will still keep looking for my perfect horsey partner and already have viewing no5 arranged for the weekend, but how quickly my confidence and ability have deteriorated over the months.

All this just goes to show you can ride as much as you want in a riding school having lessons on school horses; but you don't realise what a real horse is and what real riding is all about until you are riding and looking, like I am, for my first 'real' horse partner!

I feel such a dimwit / and rather low about all of this and would appreciate it if you would share your first horse experiences with me???

[hazelhorse]

Don't feel too bad about your fitness, if you haven't ridden for a length of time, of course your muscles will be untoned, and they are going to complain. Heavens, I am an instructor, but often spend so much time teaching that I don't ride for a few weeks at a time, then guess what? My muscles are stiff and sore too!!

I think you are doing the right thing by having more lessons to renew you confidence before you look at any more horses, it will also get you a bit fitter. When you feel confident again, start looking at horses again, but make sure that you are looking at horses which are 100% suitable. Horses advertised as shcoolmasters are not necessarily quiet to ride. The term is meant to convey that the horse has ability in one or more disciplines, and although perhaps getting a little older and not competing at high level any more, is capable of teaching a rider to compete in that discipline. That does not mean that they are novice rides. You might be better to look for a horse advertised as a bombproof, gentle type as your first horse. OK you might only be able to do low level shows, and not go to the biggest drag hunts, but it doesn't sound as though that is what you want anyway. Your first horse should be about having fun and learning safely to leave the riding school environment behind, and if you push the coundaries too far, by going for an unsuitable horse, you will begin to wish that horse owning had stayed a nice unattainable dream. Good luck, there are suitable horses out there, but as lots of people on here will tell you, it often takes a lot of time to find them.

[Casper]

Didi, I know how you feel! I got my second horse Bobby last year, 17 years after my first pony died. I had pretty much stopped riding for those 17 years too, stupid or what? So, just like you I arranged to have some rides on some lovely steady neddies at a local riding school and slowly but surely it all came back. What I didn't expect was the nerves, as when I was a kid nothing scared or fazed me so I found that really frustrating in the early days. Even now I don't canter Bobby out in company as he can get a bit strong, but we have a fantastic partnership, have worked through an awful lot and I just LOVE riding him now.

I would say to you take a good experienced rider friend with you to test the horse out for you, so that you don't just see the owner riding the horse. If there is anything you don't want to do, DON'T. Just to give you an idea, when I bought Bobby I got a friend walking, trotting and cantering him but when I got on I just walked around, halted, turned etc.

Once I got him, we had weekly riding lessons with a great instructor who was superb with nervous riders and whilst we are not out of the woods yet we are definitely getting there. Next year I am going to be doing Trec with him, and maybe some show hunter classes at a local show. If I don't fancy jumping I will do ridden hunter and my friend is going to take him in working hunter.

And believe me, if spooky horse with nervous rider can do it, you most definitely can!!! Good luck - you will find the perfect horse for you. Don't beat yourself up about this, live your dream and go for it. Whatever lies ahead it will be fun - oh and don't forget to let us know all about your new horse when you get him or her!

[milo]

when i was looking for my horse i took my daughter along and she rode him first so i could see what he went like, as im a nervous rider too it made all the difference, i then rode him at a walk and trot and tried him out, then we had him on weeks trial so i could get to know him at my own pace weve had him 2 yrs now and hes ideal for me he goes only when i ask him to and hes got a lovely nature, you just need time to get to know each other and there little ways, you'll find the right horse just keep looking.

[pip]

Well done you, that you have realised and want to work at getting back to confidence and fitness.

[Louise C]

Definately the right way to go having lessons again!

I remember getting a job with horses after at least a 10 year break, I then rode 3 a day and it nearly killed me at first as I was mucking them out as well! But you do get used to it again after a few weeks you will feel much better:-)

[nikki]

I have to say that I find trying horses a nerve-wracking experience. I like to think that I'm a competent rider but if people are watching me I turn into a complete pleb and my body refuses to co-operate with my brain!

I'll probably be looking for a new neddie next year and I am DREADING going to try horses out. I think it stems from the fact that when I was looking for my first horse, one owner was less than honest about how long her horse had been out of work and it turned into a bucking bronco and dumped me good & proper. The woman then had the nerve to turn round and say 'Oh...I though you said you were a competent rider!'. Result? One rider with seriously trashed confidence!

The thing is to be completely honest with yourself as to what you really want. If you want a novice ride then don't be persuaded to try unsuitable horses and ask lots and lots of questions over the phone (including 'Do you have somewhere suitable for me to ride the horse?!). When you are trying a horse, try and shut out everything else except how the horse feels under you. Do as much or as little as you want and if you decide after watching the owner ride that the horse isn't for you then don't be afraid to say so. Don't forget to hack the horse out.

Having lessons will, I'm sure, soon bring all the old knowledge flooding back.

[mellymoo]

My first horse is not what I thought he was - and yes, I am too scared to ride him at the mo (too scared to ride anyting at the mo!), but I wouldn't swap him for the world! Every new event is like a door opening - I have learned loads having him, more than I would if I had a "perfect" horse. You'll fall in love with one somewhere, and i won't matter what they do. I think my boy picked me anyway - who else would have him!!!!

[beany1]

I agree with mellymoos (whose horse is my horse's identical twin brother!) when I got bob he changed into a scary horse I couldn't take out for various reasons.
I picked apart the causes and although it has taken 3 years, I have learned so much from him and have gained experience I never would have had if I had found a 'perfect horse'.
A friend of mine rode a schoolmistress who was again so finely tuned it cantered if you bloomin blinked (she fell off and broke her ankle that was embarassing for her!)

[fin]

Well, after spending the best part of a year mainly riding sidesaddle I bought a horse who's Western trained and so different from what I'm used to that riding even in a straight line was utterly impossible. So we're now looking at doing a crash course in Western riding so we can actually ride the little chap.... When we actually did so while we were viewing him he trotted off with my son and then scarpered out of the gate of the school, and having summed up both of us as (in his western world) non-riders he totally refused to do anything I asked him. And he mugged, was bargy and illmannered too, and probably NOT the ideal first horse for a pair of novices! But we bought him anyway. Of course we found out afterwards that he'd been cut late, which we had actually suspected because it explained a lot.....

So why did we buy him? Because he was very, very bright. ANd also because we decided that even if he turned out to be a total psychopath we wouldn't regret buying him as much as if we'd regret it if we didn't buy him.

So, two months on....we haven't ridden him because we've been sorting out his feet. We've become very obsessed by feet, actually. We know that a dually halter really does do what it says on the video, we've become very enthusiastic clicker trainers, and all of our friends think we're totally mad in that we get really worked up at things they take utterly for granted but that our horse simply doesn't seem to know about / doesn't want to do. But when we find a way of explaining to him / motivating him it's such an event for us, and for him too. He's a nice horse, and to be honest even though we don't know much I'd prefer him to be with us than anywhere else, because so many of the more 'experienced' horsepeople we know reckon that what he really needs is a good smack to bring him in line. We've figured out ways of dealing with him that don't involve violence, and they work. He's becoming a much happier and enthusiastic horse too.

I suppose if we'd bought a sensible ploddy cob we'd be sensibly plodding round the lanes .... getting bored by now I'd imagine. I like the horse I've got, because we've learned so much and it is working for us. To be honest I probably wouldn't recommend taking such a risk to anybody, but like mellymoo and beany1 say, if you find the right horse, it is worth it.

Hope you find one soon! x

[JackieMa]

Well my first horse is coming today! I am so excited, this is why I've been on the computer since 5.30am.

I decided not to buy privately as this is what we did when my daughter bought her horses. Complete nightmare but first time round you are still enthusiastic. Couldn't face it again though.

Rang Stubley Hollow and admitted I couldn't even canter properly yet. I was surprised when they said they had a couple of suitable horses. Saw the horses being ridden first and then my daughter walked, trotted and cantered them. When it was my turn I attempted to get on and was told by the owner to try picking up the reins first. Then my daughter said it would be a good idea to put my hat on. By this time I felt a complete plonker. Then I couldn't get on and they had to find me a bigger mounting block. I was just so grateful that no-one else was looking. I felt like jelly, I wasn't thinking properly. Was advised to just walk around a little and maybe a little trot (too right I wasn't going to canter). My daughter then took him out for a hack.

As long as the horse is basically a quiet and bombproof type not looking to take advantage then we hope with regular lessons to work through any problems.

But without an experienced friend to try the horse out first I wouldn't have been able to make the decision.

[natalia]

good luck. If you can find a good instructor ask them to come with you when you view, this means you can have them maybe ride first and then you get on. THey can teach you through trying the horse and this should give you more confidence.

[JJ-Spain]

If I were you I would see if you could get the horse on loan with view to buy or have a months trial before you commit yourself, a lot of horses are novice rides in their home environment where they have been trained but turn into spooky nappy monsters once they get out of their comfort zone or realise that they can take the mickey.

[moose]

First rule of horse ownership - learn to laugh at yourself!

I agree that having a horse on loan is probably the best place to start. Please dont be hard on yourself though. I used to work with horses about 8 years ago and thought nothing of riding 5 horses a day. This summer I broke my arab in after not doing any riding for 18 months for one reason and another. Anyway, its a good job she has a generous nature because I was without doubt unfit and out of practise! It was a big wake up call for me - we've all been there.

Good luck in finding your horse. Dont give up, horses are like people, it takes a long time to find one you gel with.

[andy]

Remember my first "trial run" when looking for my first horse.
Took it up fairly late in life at 34, as my OH ( now wife) rode and I had always wanted to ride.
Had a year of lessons at a local school - private & group before she announced it was time to start looking, preferably for one on loan.
A family friend of hers called to say that he knew of a hunter that was being retired and the owner was looking for a loan home nearby.
Pablo was an 18 yr old grey gelding, 15.3hh and out of a CB mare by a noted Arab/ TB stallion in the eventing world.
Schooled to advanced eventer, beautiful dressage paces and 5 yrs as Master's horse with the Worcestershire.
Step forward 1 test pilot !
Went to see & try him - no school so had to walk & trot in his T/O paddock, squeezed a bit too hard a found ourselves in canter without trying - rocking horse !
This was followed by a short hack up the lane, accompanied by my OH on a spare horse, until we came to a bridle path.
"Just try him up here" the owner said. I touched his sides and we flew up this BP, galloped over a canal bridge until sanity cut in - here I am galloping a strange horse up a strange ( well to me anyway) path at full tilt!
Needless to say we walked back to the lane where the owner was grinning - still have him 9 yrs on and he still takes folk by surprise.