Broken leg,broken confidence

[miniman]

Having had quite a break from the IHDG board (now have 3horses and working full time as an A+E reg=limited Internet browsing time) I find myself drawn back here during my incapacitation....
On 30th January I fell off my steady eddie horse -'julie' my American curly coat.
We were have a jumping lesson and had been going so well until we came to a double. I asked for take off after 3 strides, Julie wanted to put an extra one in..... She caught the back pole of a spread and stumbled on landing.......(I should have let her jump on whatever stride she wanted-she has had her legs for 9 yrs and knows better than me)....
Well I hung on until she turned to avoid the wall....then I got thrown and landed with all my weight on my right leg (almost pushing off from my left stirrup)...... Cue nasty crack sound....... And open fracture to middle of lower leg..... Being and A+E doc I managed to straighten it (without passing out)....... And check that Julie was ok....she had regained her balance and come to an halt not far from me. Luckily I was with a friend and an instructor who were able to help me and check Julie was ok (she was)....

So now I have a ruddy great titanium rod down my leg and am learning to walk again....I'm still a few weeks off riding.

I Would never have considered myself a 'nervous' rider.... I took on a friends horse that she had lost confidence on and had been having a lot of fun with it.... I'd also taken on a feisty pony(hero) about 7 yrs ago and have a whale of time with him...... In my uni student days I was jockey for an RA and wouldn't hesitate getting on youngsters/remedial horses...... So I'm in a totally new position.

I know it was 'just an accident' , my horse hadn't done anything wrong-she hadn't run out/refused etc..... So why am I so nervous about getting on.
Look at pictures in the riding mags, and even me jumping Julie and I almost feel sick thinking that these days could be behind me.... If I can't get on my trusty steady eddie then what hope do I have. People who know Julie will just tell me to get back on as she is so 'safe and bombproof' normally..... But the reality is I still fell off her and sustained a nasty injury........ Which makes me question everything about my riding.... Would a better rider have stayed on, will I now turn my steady horse into a wreck by transmitted nerves.....will she stumble and fall again..... Did me being unbalanced Cause the fall???

Any help/ reassurance from people who have maybe been through similar would be gratefully received. I love my horses to bits but even before I get back on I am thinking that maybe they would be better sold to someone better.......

[fth]

hi miniman -- well first of all the good news - the fact you are asking these questions means you are taking your confidence seriously -- and are FAR more likely to be confident as a result

second -- check out the confidence blog -- particularly the first entry -- there is some information on there about where unconfidence comes from and lots of advice on how to manage it for yourself

www.effectivehorsemanship.wordpress.com


you can always message me for more info - -and I am sure you will get a lot of ideas here too!

Cathy

[rifruffian]

Reading this right now, I have the feeling that having the knowledge and experience that comes from work as an A&E doctor........this sort of lifestyle experience could hinder you in the task to regain confidence. ......and in this moment I do not have any good idea about it.

[cookie]

Rif has a point. No doubt you see all sorts day to day and now you are the patient (I guess for the first time since practising?)

Give yourself time to heal. The reality is it was an accident, not your fault, not the horses. Give yourself time and be kind to yourself, you may well feel very different when you are back up to strength. Its hard to imagine feeling confident again when you feel compromised physically.

Sent from my GT-I9100 using proboards

[Mellymoo]

I had the same fracture as you - it does come back, give it time. One way I think about it is that because of the titanium nail that leg won't break again. May not help you, but helps me. Best of luck with your recovery xxxx

[ggibbons]

Hi Miniman,

Glad to hear you're recovering physically, I'm pretty new to horse riding but I do have experience in regard to overcoming fear of getting back into the saddle (albeit a motorcycle one).

I fractured my neck and my wrist in 2007 in a road traffic accident whilst riding my motorbike home from work.

I was very lucky and recovered well although the wrist still gives me a little jip :-). I can understand your apprehension in returning to riding after a long lay off and recovery period.

Firstly you're right it was an accident, 99 times out of 100 you would have fallen and come away with nothing more than a dent to the ego and then you would have jumped back on. So try not to beat yourself up for falling.

Its healthy to work things through but don't over analysis the fall, it was just one of those things. You are a competent rider!! and you will be back in the saddle and smiling before you know it.

I remember the first time I sat back on a motorbike, it was scary, it was intimidating, however it was and continues to be one of my favourite things in the world to do and whilst it can be a risky pursuit, for me it is life affirming.

I would be lying if the first few rides weren't a little scary and my riding has probably changed as a result. but the smile returns and it will for you. Think of all the amazing times you've had and all fun you will have in the future. Take your time, you don't have to go mad, just get on and walk first. But make sure you do it and keep doing it regularly. For me I started riding my bike off road first and then just short trips out before I attempted commuting again.

Try not to let this one bad experience negate all the positives, if riding is your love go find it again. I hope it goes well for you and you're smiling and riding again soon.

Another thing that may help is trying to change your memory of the accident through visualisation. Take a look at www.personal-development-planet.com/nlp-submodalities.html

[curlytobiano]

hi Miniman - so sorry you have had such a nasty fall and really hope you get back to full fitness very quickly!

I was SO interested to see you have an American Curly - so do I! Mine is only 21 months old. When I saw that you had fallen off and broken your leg I thought 'oh no! - problem with curlies!' but then reading on, I could see it was just totally a freak accident. Hope you can come to see it that way. And there is no rule that says you have to get on your horse, or jump, or anything, unless you want to. I bet you really do want to and if you do, you will. Good luck!