trying to analyse my fear

[holi]

I've been reading some of Cathy Sirritts (?) book and trying to work out my issues. Basically I know I'm nervous but if someone is with me I'm pretty much ok. Its just being on my own - my brain goes to mush and I freeze so having lots of lessons is actually counter-productive as is taking a friend with me.

I don't know whether its years of having spooky horses at home on my own that has done it - I'm not aware of that but perhaps on a subconscious level it's occuring. I did her 'discussion between what's making you stop and why you want to ride' and that came out as not looking a fool i.e. I don't want to appear hopeless so come up with every excuse but can't see how it all fits together.

Its so frustrating - I just want to start again when my girl is back in work but really want to get to the bottom of this before then.

[fth]

Hi Holi -- Cathy here -- glad the book is helping

Something that sometimes happens is that when we are on our own, we know there is no safety net -- if anything happens it is down to us and just us to sort things out - and that can be fear inducing -- especially if you hvae had spooky horses at home.

with a friend, your unconscious could be thinking "phew, it's not totally my responsibility, someone else is here to help -- and so allows you to get on and do things.

If this is what is going on, then building your confidence being by yourself is the key - and that will take a plan of how to do things gradually by yourself to do this....

Cathy

[holi]

Thanks Cathy - I guess its about not trusting yourself and learning how to do that. Seems a big ask at times!