Nervous after baby... 1 year on :(

[freda]

Hi all - I see a few people have posted about being nervous after having a baby and I am in that same boat! My little one is now 13 months and I have had a year of trying to get going with my horse. I tried lessons, having him at livery for a while and although things did help the end of the year culminated with me having to get off because my horse was spooking at cows and sheep - unheard of!
Basically I know my nerves are now affecting my horse and he is playing up with me. He is 14 years old and I have owned him 4 years, he is my first horse and gave me so much confidence initially.
I feel so scared if he spooks I literally feel like I might pass out!
I am thinking of having another baby and so I may well have to sell my horse later this year, it seems unfair to have him standing in a field for another year/two (I keep him alone, he gets serious separation anxiety!). I really want to be able to enjoy my horse, get him lovely and fit and if selling is what I have to do, at least part as happy partners, knowing I am doing the best thing for him.

Sorry a it of a ramble but it's so emotional! Any help would be fantastic, or if there is anyone in the NE Scotland who someone could recommend to come and help me build the bond with my boy that would be amazing!

[margom]

Hi I started back riding 6 years after my youngest was born. I was nervous before but after OMG I got nervous looking at a horse in a field. But thing of that feeling you get when you get on board brings you back to them. My eldest daughter's pony exploits just made me jealous enough to take to the saddle again. I did a sponsored ride with her this year, A total thrill! I was scared in part, totally thrilled to be on board, with my daughter, JOY. I've now bought a horse and I'm a bit over faced again. She's a bit 'looky' and responsive.
Why I'm riding at all again is purely because I found the riding school that suited me. I have my new horse on livery with them. I'm learning everything, very slowly(baby steps post). I found comfort in this DG (lead rein post). Do what you have to do, keep an open mind etc. Maybe if you found a riding school to take your horse to use in lessons etc (you say livery helped before) You could do in hand/ handling lessons maybe with an RA when you can't ride. I know when kids are small it's near impossible to have the time and/or money to do these things! Post again. I need hope that baby steps do actually lead some where🐎🐎