Sadness improves riding!

[ruthp]

I've had a very difficult month - Rosa Pony was put down at the beginning of October and then 24 hours later my darling Hobie-Cat came home injured and he died of an subsequent infection three weeks later. Since then I have either been sad or numb - and I'm really not enjoying anything. This isn't depression it's just grief, and I know it will pass.

In January Bali and I had an accident when she fell over on the road in canter - she'd spooked at something, jumped into canter and slipped. Since then, I've had a real problem with canter - everytime I think of asking for it I get an adrenalin spike, which Bali obviously feels, and so she rushes and tanks. Not good for my confidence.

However, on Friday I took her out on her own, and we had a succession of lovely quiet canters. My emotions are so flat at the moment that I don't think my body is capable of producing an adrenalin spike at the moment, so no spike and no transmission to Bali. Let's hope that this is a prolonged silver lining from all my grief.

[Dragonmaster]

That sounds really good, Ruth. And riding is very healing, you have to be 'one with your horse' so no time to dwell on other matters, then you get such pleasure from the riding & from the horse's company that it lifts your spirits.
After my Dad died, I drove home from Birmingham with tears streaming, but the next day I couldn't wait to get out on Rosie, just me & her or a nice long hack. Then I as able to face the world again.

[curlytobiano]

aw, bless you Ruth. Hopefully the calm will remain as the grief recedes, as I trust and hope it will. x x

[dalesfan]

Thinking of you Ruth....said goodbye to my big lad Norman at the beginning of Oct, and have been rather flat and numbed since then. Strangely, like you, I've been calmer in my riding....think it can be a side effect of grief, it leaves you very tired, but also in a reflective place. Sorry,may not be making sense...just finished work and brain like a sieve! xx

[nomdeac]

Would agree with all the above. My only consolation when my Dad died was to be found with my daughters Welsh section A gelding who I was breaking as a lead rein at the time. When I was with Quasar I found some peace and calm, I found I was much braver than before too, able to walk him on our busy country lanes. Keep going Ruth, some days will be better than others, some will be unbearable but tomorrow will be better than today. x