i feel such a fool. HELP NEEDED

[ness]

hi . i brought my 14:3 skewbald cob over six months ago . im 41 and had up to that point never owned my own horse . ....... lets put it this way i am a complete novice .have ridden ex racers . cobs at riding schools and the like and had been riding 3-4 years .
however i have never encountered a cob like mine . he reared he bucked . he used to bite ,napp and he was getting dangerous until i found grant bazin who helped me with storm .
now im back at my yard and iv lost my confidence after going through one field he decided, to hold his head high and rear up .
so how the hell do i get it back again . there arnt many people to help at my yard as it is diy .
and i dont no what else to do . but i wont give up and i wont sell him or loan him

[Dragonmaster]

Skewbald cob, would that be the hairy gypsy type?
I have one of those.
These cobs can be very 'assertive' and that needs to be corrected. If not they can become quite dangerous - like yours. However all they need is regular reminding that it is you, not them, in charge. More difficult when they have got into the habit.
In my view this 'assertiveness' stems from their own insecurity and lack of good leadership.
Because they are big (even when only 14.2) if they push, people often just back off, so they push harder, this then leads them to believe they must control things for their own safety.
Having stated the roots of the problem, how to address it? In your case I would say try to get help so you feel more confident. The help does not necessarily need to be a horse expert, but someone who can just give you a hand with the excersises you do.
The answer is to do groundwork, but before you can do that you need to raise your own confidence levels. You need to show an 'assertive' front each time you are near him, they read our energy, and if you are feeling afraid he will have no confidence in you. You need to be able to give him that confidence.
Tricks to do this are to breathe really deeply into your abdomen, and centre and lower your energy. Stand straight, shoulders back.
Then work with all the groundwork that Monty & Kelly teach.

Try this website, www.effectivehorsemanship.com/ and Facebook page www.facebook.com/Effective.Horsemanship/info
Cathy posts on here as fth - hopefully she will see this and comment as well.

Good luck.

[fth]

Hi Dragonmaster -- thanks for the mention - -you give some GREAT advice and insights....

and hi ness -- first of all, stay calm as you are NOT alone -- its not easy having your first horse and then STAYING confident is hard too as they aren't like the riding school horses we learn on!!

whereabouts in the country are you? there may be some people nearby who can help and support

first of all though -- head on over and read some of the article son this blog -- there is an index, where each article is sumamrised so you can read through that and then decide which articles to read -- some good insights here that have helped alot of people...

www.effectivehorsemanship.wordpress.com

I can also guarantee you that there have been some small signs before he reared up -- and one key to getting confidence back is to KNOW you are seeing those signs AND KNOW what to do when they happen -- this is where a coach can help you -- an RA, a confidence coach -- you decide (and it depends who is near you too as they need to be near enough to visit once a month or so while you work on things yourself in the meantime) --

As dragonmaster says, a lot of cobs appear bolshy and so on, but are just worried as they don't see their human as a confident leader so feel they have ot take charge themselves and then they start behaving "badly"

what is GOOD is that you have posted here looking for support - -read the blog, and let us know where you are as we may know local people who can support you!!

Cathy

[ness]

hi fth and dragonmaster i live in northamptonshire . i did have grant bazin from practical horsemanship help me when i first got him working with a dually halter .
he said the same thing it was just him worrying , was told to enjoy him which i am but its difficult when you have no schooling area to work in just a big field .
but i didnt let him get away with a thing today even thou it took an hour to tack him up , and ride him just down the road . feel slightly better .
and i did end up shouting at him . he eventualy consceded. and stood long enough for me to get on him.
i think the reason he reared was , the horses in the other field was having a goof around ,
and there is a sharp slop in the field which i have to walk throu with that and my nerves it was a recipe for disaster.
storm is not very good on slopes with his back feet they seem to catch up with his front ones to quick .

[ness]

thank you for the replys .
believe me when i first looked at this horse i was told he wouldnt do this that and the other , but considering he has come on slightly better than i thought he would .
some said to me when i first moved yards . 1 sell him 2 dangerous horse 3 have him put down.
but its my nerves thats getting the better of me .
its just me i have to sort out .

[KimT]

As a surviver of a horse that 'should be put down', let me tell you that you will get there. My first horse was not a good first horse (or second, third or fourth for that matter). She reared, in hand and under saddle and would bolt regularly. Her problems were due to previous owners ill treatment of her. She had no confidence or faith in humans. She was not aggressive or nasty but if she took off and you were silly enough to get eaten by the scary object, then that was your fault. lol. It took awhile but we got there. She was bigger than your lad (16.2hh) but trust me, I know how well these cobby types with all their muscle can use it against you (I have one now). I had a lot of growing up to do when I first got Bonnie (I was 13) but we sort of helped each other along. Her main fear was large vehicles and we got to the point were she would calmly walk past them as opposed to her previous rear, spin, bolt reaction. It will take time but there are a lot of people here to help you.

Good luck.

[ness]

Thank you for all the encouraging replys iv had so far .
It means alot to me and my boy that there are people out there that care .
Storm is A big old brut of a horse , yes he does use his size against me but I will get there .
I promised storm that the other day .
And I will carry it throu he has just got to learn to trust me

[curlytobiano]

Hello Ness. Sorry to hear of your problems but the first thing is nobody except you will be thinking you are a fool! On the contrary, you have recognised that you have a problem and you need some help. That is a great step!

I had my first horse at age 43 and unfortunately I did find him too much for me, similarly I was at a yard without a lot of help and it just did not work. He is now being a star at my instructor's riding school. I really admire your determination to keep your cob, and I am sure the advice on here will help you a lot in that.

A couple of other things I would say - I don't know if you are the kind of person who enjoys reading about / researching a topic (I am!) but if you are then yes definitely check out Cathy's blogs, I'd also suggest you have a look at the RA section on here - whilst they dont get updated that often now, a lot of them will take you to the website / facebook page of the RA and you may well find yourself reading about how they dealt with a horse & owner combo with the exact same issues that you are experiencing.

My other tip is to boost your confidence by being as safe as you possibly can (riding or in ground work) - wear a body protector, decent hat, gloves, take a mobile phone with you if you can safely take it, where possible work your boy when there are other people around or at least due to be there before too long.

Good luck Ness - hope you find some answers so you can start to take some more steps forward and enjoy your horse and your riding again.

[ness]

hi curlytobiano , thank you for your reply

[fth]

ness I am just in Milton Keynes -- I am planning to be hanging out with my own horses next week so if you facny meeting up for a coffee and chat happy to do that!! we could meet half way if you like or you can come visit me -- I have just a field too..... x

Cathy

[cobgirl]

i too have a cob and he can get 'pushy', stick with it. i am also nervous and my boy knows it! and will drag me for grass in hand. you are not alone, don't lose hope. you are braver than you think!!

[hammie]

Would it help to move yards? Partly it might be good to be on a bigger yard or somewhere where you can get more help (not everyone appreciates "interference" I know, but if you're having a difficult time it can be helpful both in practical terms and to your confidence to have more people around). Also, having had my horse for 2 1/2 years, the most challenging place to work him is still in a field. He is now pretty good in the school, not bad out hacking (mostly) and sometimes in a field he is fine - but if I take him in a field and he is hungry or just focused on the grass he can be a horror! Having better spaces to work in - and get him away from the other horses - could really help you.