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Post by ladyndibs on May 21, 2012 23:13:06 GMT 1
As some of you know my mare Lady has a real problem with confidence and I have been wondering on and off for a while if she wouldn't be better off with someone more experienced that she can take confidence from.
I finally voiced my thoughts at the weekend but felt fairly safe in the knowledge that no-one in their right mind would want her but I looked on Project Horse and a lady less than 20 miles away was looking for problem horses, it semed as though it was fate so I eamiled a couple of pictures and she said that as long as Lady was sound she would take her. Sunday night was awful and I spent most of today asking opinions and though being practical it made sense to sell her I couldn't help thinking that if that was the right thing to do why did I feel so bad.
Thankfully I had a loooong chat with BJM who knows Lady and what a gentle soul she is and I know for the time being at least Lady is staying. I couldn't stomach the thought of someone shouting at her or even worse hitting her.
I'm not making any progress really and I did have an RA out but Lady was so scared Suzanne couldn't get near her, nothing personal Lady just doesn't like strangers.
If there are any mad fools out there who like a challenge and fancies a part share, (share the horse not the cost) or any suggestions on where to get a bucket load of horse confidence I would love to hear from you.
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Post by fth on May 21, 2012 23:54:22 GMT 1
hi ther e-- tough situation to be in -- want to come visit me in MK an dplay with my coblet who has some fear issues, but not all over -- as maybe some things you can learn playing with him might help if you take them back to Lady??? just an idea!
Cathy
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Post by kizi on May 22, 2012 0:47:47 GMT 1
I saw a saying today but can't remember it fully... Something like..
Flipping a coin always gives you the right answer, not when it lands but when it's in the air, because when it's in the air you realise what way you want it to land'
I thought it was very true... And I think at the last min your heart told you what you wanted it to about Lady. Despite everything you still didn't want to send her away... It may not be any easier tomorrow but I think sometimes when you go with your heart it makes the journey a bit easier.. Does that sound like I'm full of pain killers!?!? ;-)
I don't mean it to, I guess I'm just saying that from a confidence point of view you've made a huge step by not taking the easy option and you choice is (hopefully) what you want deep down.. I know you'll find a way because you will have so much back up and support here and even if Lady didn't like your RA then she will get to know her or a sharer in time and then they wont be strangers anymore... It will just take time..
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Post by laurac on May 22, 2012 16:20:22 GMT 1
Think of the progress/bond you already have with Lady, she wouldnt let the RA near her but will let you that tells me something  It took me nearly 5 yrs to get my boy right, he was a px at a dealers and had been passed around alot by the age of 5, when i got him he wouldnt be caught wouldnt load, would rear being led, rear under saddle or bronk or try and run through fences with rider on in panic, 2 trimmers couldnt even get anything off his feet he intimidated them, and he totally kiced the back of my friends stable off  I will be honest I shed many many tears and at times felt 'lumbered' with him as i knew passing him on would mean he would probably get beaten and probably passed around even more so i had to keep him, it has been hard, there were times when i used to feel sick & terrified around him and he shattered my confidence big time, that was just handling him i had given up riding him when he nearly seriously injured a professional who backs horses (she refused to have anything to do with him after that) and he nearly had me off a few times, i said i never wanted to ride him again Now 5 yrs on he is a pleasure, catches easy (well comes over soon as he sees me) he loads, he is good having feet done, and ive just started riding and he has been an angel The journey has been very tough but i have learnt so so much and it has all been worthwhile for the result i now have You can do it, dont put yourself under pressure and celebrate those little break throughs, and sometimes 3 steps forward then mean 2 back but you will get there i promise x |
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Post by ladyndibs on May 22, 2012 20:21:35 GMT 1
Laura I went to visit BJM today and I don't know if your ears were burning but I hadn't realised what a nightmare you had had or why the pictures of you riding were so special, it did give me hope after hearing your story and I am so glad that after so much blood sweat and tears you have a lovely ridable horse, I have had a great day today as well though won't bore you with it here, how's Biscuit doing? I hope the sudden warm weather doesn't make him uncomfortable.
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Post by laurac on May 22, 2012 22:49:47 GMT 1
i am so pleased to hear you have had a great day ladyndibs ;D I think sometimes we end up with certain horses for a reason, and certainly my big fella has made me a much better horse person I know him so well and can read him immediately these days, in the beginning though what upset me most is that he didnt even acknowledge me, i was the invisable human (to be run over) I used to drive home from my field in tears on a regular basis even trying to change a rug was dangerous and impossible sometimes (seems a lifetime ago now) There is hope dont put yourself under pressure and set yourself really small goals, I found clicker really useful (then i do have a greedy chappy) I think you certainly have a bond with lady which you can build upon and i think you will get there with her, she sounds like she already trusts you I rode my chappy this eve on my own, he marched over to me, stood perfectly still in the field untied to be tacked up and then i had a lovely 15 min ride in walk and he was foot perfect and listening to me all the time, you will get this I am sure, if you were closer I would pop over to give you a pep talk! ;D Lady is a very lucky girlie to have you as her owner she is loved and cared for and the steps forward will happen and when they do you will feel so proud and happy i promise and it wil be all worthwhile xx Little Biscuit is over his op now and all swelling has gone down i ordered him a fly sheet yesterday and cant wait for it to arrive the midges were driving them mad this eve |
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