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Post by thingstodotoday on Feb 12, 2012 17:33:51 GMT 1
Hello all First of all thanks for the wonderful response to my request for a support buddy! As promised here is Mickey and my story, our journey so far, and my journey to improve my confidence. I have had Mickey for 2 and a half years now, and bought him having sold 2 other horses who weren’t right for me. Mick is 7 years old, and stands 15hh. He is the most wonderful, genuine, honest horse, with a wonderful attitude to life. He’s also pretty talented at anything he turns his hoof to! In the past 2 years he has taken me from crying at the thought of putting my foot in the stirrup, to completing our first one day event, dressage, XC, Trec, hacking, sponsored rides, show jumping, polocrosse….you name it we’ll try it! And always just the 2 of us, going out to places together. I have had some wonderful support along the way, and have learnt so many ways of doing things from people. I pick and choose areas of “Natural Horsmanship” that I feel comfortable with and that I understand. I have made many mistakes, but have learnt from them, and have had many confidence wobbles along the way. So the reason I picked up Kelly’s book is because I really struggle with hacking out alone. And it’s something I really want to be able to do. The last yard I was on was on a private farm, and I’d hack out alone there no worries, cantering and everything. But I crumble when it comes to hacking out from my new yard, out into the wide world! I know Mick is fine, as I have someone ride him for me once a week and she frequently takes him out alone! Which is good! But it’s something I am determined to overcome. So there you go. You guys are now my support group. I will keep this updated as I work through the book and surmount this challenge, and will regale you with all our tales of hacking off into the sunset! My first bit of news is that last weekend before the snow came, Mick and I went out together for 20 mins. He was wonderful, as always, I have no reason to not trust him! And we achieved this only halfway through the book – who knows what we will be doing by the end Oh and I am in Kent, and work in London if anyone would like coffee and a chat. And here are some pics for you to say thanks: I own copyright here so don't worry
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Post by ladyndibs on Feb 12, 2012 17:54:08 GMT 1
He's gorgeous and if he has been able to take you from crying when you mount a little bit of determination and he will take you hacking, don't forget you won't be on your own, you'll be with Mickey. You've got more b*lls than me, at the moment I can't even get on Lady and I've never hacked her alone, hopefully you'll inspire me ;D Do you hack at much with friends? I don't know what it's like where you are but is there a little circuit near the yard that you could pratice with, maybe just 10 minutes, or if that is too much to start with try hacking out with a friend but keep a distance between you so that there is someone there but not right beside you. I'm in Kent in the deepest darkest SE corne, near Dover whereabouts are you?
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helenc
Elementary Poster
Posts: 53
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Post by helenc on Feb 12, 2012 18:06:09 GMT 1
Hiya! I really believe that if I can do this anyone can do anything! Are you working through Kelly's book? It's really brilliant. Really helps you focus on the why and how. Pm me if you need any help working through your challenges. Or maybe start a thread too (or have you already) and then maybe everyone who is working on something could have a thread? I am on the Kent Sussex border, in the Tunbridge Wells area. We hack a lot in company, and I always go in front at least some of the way. Mick slows down on the way home in company, he loves being out, so we always end up a long way behind, which is like being out just us two! You're right, I am going to change saying hacking out alone to hacking out together. The hacking our way is lovely, and we have a few routes that are out and back with a loop on the top if you know what I mean. We did 20 mins together on the short loop last weekend, and I am going to do the 30 min loop next time, which also involves an orchard
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Post by holi on Feb 12, 2012 18:30:13 GMT 1
Welcome helenc. First your boy is gorgeous!! and so generous and kind and ...well he's greatand its wonderful you have done so much together. My belief in life now though is don't beat yourself up and if you don't want to hack alone - so be it. You never know though what will come of that. I have a great friend (another non-alone hacker like myself and so many others I might add) who bought herself the great confidence giver. She has had him now over two years and has got rid of martingale, flash etc and trusts him enough not to run off - these are big steps for her as for years they have been her crutch. She goes out to small dressage comps and now even has done some jumping clincs (he has won lots of money SJ in a previous life so does know his stuff) BUT one day no-one was available for a hack. At first she got her OH to walk with her but a few months later when the same thing happened she went out alone! She has now done it a few times and although would not chose it knows now she can do it. Its taken her quite a while - she knows she is daft as he never puts a foot wrong but its worked for her. I'va managed to walk my girl out in hand on my own and even walked her up and down the lane outside the yard but stil in spitting distance- just go at your own pace and it will happen. I'm down between hailsham and Battle so not a million miles!
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rowanrachel
Olympic Poster
Life is better when you share it with Horses :-)
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Post by rowanrachel on Feb 12, 2012 19:09:13 GMT 1
He looks luvly- it sounds like you have come so far together- well done. I went and bought perfect confidence after reading your other post the other day! So I'll look forward to hearing how your getting on. I think you need to believe in yourself and your boy and think of all the time and fun and games you still have to come together... And think about all you've done- to me competing, trec etc. Is all much scarier than an open field but we all have our own fears and are all individuals so give yourself praise for what you've done till now. X
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Post by fth on Feb 12, 2012 19:52:51 GMT 1
yes I totally agree -- you have done really well so far -- and no reason to doubt you will continue!
sounds like you are a great team...
where in Kent? my sister lives in Littlestone on sea and I often visit her!
Cathy
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helenc
Elementary Poster
Posts: 53
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Post by helenc on Feb 12, 2012 22:20:16 GMT 1
holi it seems there are quite a few of us down this way! The thing is, that I really do want to be able to hack out, just the 2 of us. I loved it when I was doing it at the yard I was at before, where it was hacking out round the farm, it's just a challenge hacking out in public places it seems! That's a lovely story about your friend though - funny how sometimes things just happen like that when it feels right. rowanrachel thank you for your kind words. I'm really glad you bought the book. What are your plans, if you don't mind my asking? fth I am in the Tunbridge Wells area. Thank you so much for your vote of confidence. This is such a great forum. I am looking forward to keeping you all updated, and hearing what you are all up to as well. Reading all this has made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and I'm so pleased I did this. Please keep having a look on here and replying as I can feel this is really going to help me!
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yatva
Intermediate Poster
Bunnyhugger
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Post by yatva on Feb 13, 2012 11:03:35 GMT 1
Wow, your boy is gorgeous ! Your post struck a chord with me. I have a gorgeous boy in my life that is busy helping me with my confidence too. I have had him since July last year and just started riding him (I felt totally safe the second I sat on him - despite being so nervous I could hardly get on him) when my dad passed away and I wasnt emotionally able to give anything to my horse. I only rode him four times between July and December and the last time I rode, I fell off on the beach when he did a huge spook at some seaweed on the sand. Totally understandable and forgiveable as he had never been on the beach before and came running back to me when I called him . So that dented my confidence again. I then spent as much time with him on the ground as I could even if it was just a brief scratch on the withers and a chat. I have since ridden him three times more, a month ago and he was amazing, alert but calm and obedient. I have to wait for my husband to ride with me as I am literally too afraid to go out on my own - sorry together with my horse . I can only ride out as we do not have schooling facilities and the paddocks where the horses do not have even flat ground. However, this past weekend my husband and I had an AMAZING ride and I even had a gallop, the very first time in about 6 years. I am still on a high ! I really want to go out with my horsie partner and we ended up really far in front of my husband and his horse and my boy was completely chilled and not worried where the other horse was at all, so maybe I will still muster up the courage to go out soon !
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Post by Serenbean & Justine on Feb 13, 2012 12:48:59 GMT 1
Well you sound like you are making good progress already, well done! I am in North London with no support locally and although have different issues would be happy to meet up with someone like minded for coffee and a chat if you can bare to stay in town after work.
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helenc
Elementary Poster
Posts: 53
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Post by helenc on Feb 13, 2012 14:04:24 GMT 1
yatva thank you so much! He really is a stunner isn't he. And he knows it! He is a favourite with all the girls! I am so glad that you have also found that special horse. Isn't it amazing that no matter what we go through, if they are in your blood then you can't be without them. Bless your lad for coming back to you on the beach. What a positive thing that is to take away from what happened there. Are you also working through Kelly's book? there is some interesting stuff in there about how to set yourself up so that something like that happening doesn't mean everything falls apart confidence wise. That's so wonderful that you got out and had such an amzing ride though. Moments and feelings like that are worth waiting for. Store it up in your bank of memories to call on whenever you have a wobble. I'm sure you are more than capable of surmounting your hacking out challenges too Serenbean I don't tend to hang about after work, cos I want to get home and see my lad, but if you are ever in the City way of a lunchtime let me know and I would love to meet up for coffee.
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rowanrachel
Olympic Poster
Life is better when you share it with Horses :-)
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Post by rowanrachel on Feb 13, 2012 14:25:46 GMT 1
holi it seems there are quite a few of us down this way! The thing is, that I really do want to be able to hack out, just the 2 of us. I loved it when I was doing it at the yard I was at before, where it was hacking out round the farm, it's just a challenge hacking out in public places it seems! That's a lovely story about your friend though - funny how sometimes things just happen like that when it feels right. rowanrachel thank you for your kind words. I'm really glad you bought the book. What are your plans, if you don't mind my asking? Mind? Any excuse to talk about Honey is welcome! ;-) Well here is our story: Honey's original breeders used to run a horse rescue centre- they had trained her using natural horsemanship techniques and she was the bombproof daughter of a horse they rescued from near death a few years earlier- they sold Honey at 3 to a family who promised to keep her forever as their family horse or if not let the breeders know so they could buy her back. This was not the case and they sold her strait on- the original owners then lost track of poor Honey for 3 years until a friend spotted her in a dealers yard in July last year, in a sorry state. She was covered in welts where her SI had gone untreated, had worn her tail and mane raw and had been kept drugged up to keep her calm. They rallied money together and bought her back and she was reunited with her mum again! When the drugs wore out of her system it was clear she was quite a different horse. She was bargy, head shy, anxious, scared of people entering her stable and was in quite a state. They'll never know quite what happened to her during those 3 years to make her such a scared little horse with no trust in humans, but what matters now is we've found each other and she is slowly building up her trust in me and I will be her 'Forever Home'. I found her after replying to a Gumtree add saying 'rescue horses in need of cuddles over winter' :-) out of 28 people who replied to their add i was the only one invited to meet the horses! I had an instant bond with Honey and started working with her to practice my IH skills and try and restore her trust in people. 3 months later her owners came to me and said that due to health reasons they were struggling to keep all 3 horses and when they'd put their add on gumtree they were secretly searching for Honey's 'special heart person' as they put it! They swore never to sell her again after what happened but seeing the bond we have and building their trust in me they gifted her to me in January this year- on one condition- that if for any reason i cannot keep her she goes straight back to them. We are working through things together starting at complete basics using all natural techniques and she's already quite a different horse from the one they found in that dealers yard ;_) You'll see more about where we're at on a recent thread i started about our leading issues! We still have a long way to go but every day with her is a joy and I'm so glad I have her! Ps- I feel this forum is also going to be our saviour!
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helenc
Elementary Poster
Posts: 53
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Post by helenc on Feb 13, 2012 14:45:41 GMT 1
That's such a lovely story rowanrachel. She must be breathing a sigh of relief that she has finally found someone who will communicate wtih her in a way she understands. It must be very rewarding.
They say that when the student is ready the teacher will appear - this seems to be what has happened for you both teaching and being taught by Honey.
How lovely that the people who rescued her have been so wonderful too. Lovely that they recognised what you have and what you can offer each other.
I look forward to following your story! I'm going to have a nosy at all your posts about her so far!
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rowanrachel
Olympic Poster
Life is better when you share it with Horses :-)
Posts: 741
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Post by rowanrachel on Feb 13, 2012 23:29:33 GMT 1
The funny thing is if you look at one of my very first posts it was trying to work out whether I could manage to buy my own horse, then not long after I found Honey! I had dreamed of exactly her- I've never wanted a quiet hack or a school master, I've always wanted to take on a project horse and go through that journey together- for the learning and the experience and to know I am capable of it- and to build that bond with a horse and restore their trust in people! Her owners are super- for Christmas they gave me a big photo album of loads of pics of her right from when she was a foal and pics of us together! It's such a luvly thing to have! It's special to know after all that's happened and them swearing never to loose her they trust me with her care- they still have her mum too which is nice. Xx
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Post by holi on Feb 14, 2012 11:15:28 GMT 1
what wonderful stories!
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Post by Mellymoo on Feb 14, 2012 22:40:29 GMT 1
Hello :-), sorry I missed your first thread, can I join too? Hacking just me and Jos is my nemesis too, but I will conquer it this year! I managed a couple of times last year, even doing a short canter at one point, but I have lost my bottle for it again. It will come back I'm sure! Mickey os gorgeous by the way!!
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