Just had fab lesson - so excited!!

[holi]

Well thanks you your support I have just blurted everything out about how I feel. Today I had a lesson with Jim Goddard (perhaps that its as I haven't had one for about 4 weeks and need my fix!) and we went through everything. He agreed that she can be sharp and feels that in her formative years (she is 6) she did lots but never really had the lesson in discipline that youngsters need. THis means that when things get tough she creates a bit and expects you to back down. Her previous owner was just a teenager when she had her, totally fearless and did loads with her - polo, SJ, eventing, sponsored rides, mammoth hacks through the centre of a big town, galloping up the Downs - brilliant stuff but probably never said you are disciplined when ridden.

We talked it through for ages and Jim put her on the long lines/lunge and did some sort of join up. She gave issue at times and he was quite forceful but then backed down. Its the timing! We also thinks she panics a bit when you put presure on her so it escalates and its not always my fault. Anyway we rode with two reins - one set on the Dually - and when she started throwing her head about she was backed up on the Dually until eventually we got the big sigh and she stopped. Loads to think ablout, loads to work on but at last I feel its positive and I don't have a Jekyll and hyde pony which will get the better of me. ;D

So do try it. If you feel that you haven't got the control you would like work with the Dually and bridle. Apparently all the young horses are started like this. It gives you an amazing feeling!

[sarahlev]

Holi that's great. I'm so pleased for you. And I'm sure you can do it. ((((hugs))))

[helenj]

Hi Holi

Thats great. Another problem for the "be perfects" is feeling that you ought to know what to do to solve a problem. Sometimes its such a releif to have someone come along and say, yes, I can see the same problem as you see, here are the tools to sort it out, have a breather while I try them out, then I'll teach you and you'll be fine.

Remember that it may not always go as smoothly as your session last week, but that is absolutely fine and completely normal - you and your horse are both learning. Don't get cross with yourself if you do have a not so good moment, take a deep breath, replay in your head what Jim has done with you and why, and try a smaller step again.

And finally, please stop thinking that things are your "fault". Things not going as planned are chances to learn something and be better at it next time. If you beat yourself up about it being your fault you are walking straight into that "be perfect" door, and it hurts!! You also miss that chance to say, what happened, do I know why, can I do something about it, and if the answer to the last question is no, who do I know that may be able to help - you are doing this with the lovely Jim already. Use a bit of that kindness that you expend on your friend and your horse on yourself; there is always enough kindness to go around.

Keep going on this, brill that you are making progress and feeling good about it. Keep us posted.

[Mellymoo]

Sounds like great progress holi, and wise words from everyone else! I wish Jim was closer to me, he might be able to tame my yellow thug!!

[fth]

this sounds GREAT and is a good advert for getting SUPPORT and SHARING what you really feel! there are SO many people out there who can help you with horses, your own confidence and so on -- it is WELL worth asking!

Cathy

[holi]

Well some good bits and some a bit not so good. We went out sunday and after getting her to back up on the Dually she was brilliant until two horses trotted up behind us. She got in a tizz, I panicked, tried to back her up and she had a few bucks as wanted to rush forward. But we managed (even though I shouted at OH in my heightened nerves but he doesn't count lol) and she walked home calmly.

I have just reading one of Mark Rashid's books and the story of Jo is me in one. Trying to be perfect, sure there is the perfect 'tool' that will work and over practising it so the horse objects and it all goes to rats. He says that this lady had to relax, understand things from the horses view - if they are trying that is all that matters, no tool is perfect and to bring back the trust in each other. So on that, as it is icy, we did in hand work today with poles, tarpaulins etc and she was a star. I even made her walk a few paces in front of me so she had to be brave and we got a little licking and chewing. We also walked out down the road on the non icy bits and down my drive - she was not impressed by my messy yad full of gardening equipment lol. Her only jump was someone walking up behind us and she wasn't concentrating to realise they were there. It got me thinking that she does panic a bit when things come up behind her unexpected so that's a good thing to identify to work on.

I hope my experiences will help others as well so I'll update the saga of Tilly at times as part of sharing experiences we can all learn from. xx

[holi]

Lesson 2 of the 'new way' and we did it on a hack! She acts so differently when out as she gets quite nervous (which doesn't help me) and if I ask her to do anything she just speeds up resulting in when she is worried, not being able to control her pace - she doesn't do anything outrageous just when you e.g. ask for a slower walk you get not response.

So Jim walked me out and observed - this was great as he actually confirmed what I had said about her and not that it was just me being uptight (which I wasn't). He felt that she was a green hacker. As she is fundamentally safe (not bothered by lories etc and was hacked through the centre of a big tonw) her previous owner let her be the guide and left her alone. By coming to me and the big scary countryside with hedges, gateways and animals (!) she wants to be left alone which means 'go as fast as I can to get back'. Me asking her lifts her worries as she needs to be able to get away from the gremlins - which made perfect sense. What she now has to learn is to trust and listen to me when outside so she understands I won't let anything happen to her. We are doing this by just backing her up with Dually when she goes off so she has to settle and re-adjust and we are going to have lessons 'on the hoof' with leg yielding, turns, transitions in the lanes.

I took her out to today with OH and she was very good although with quite heightened senses at times as I took over. I call it her 'slab sided' moments when she seems to suck in her breath and her sides shrink away under you. Lots of praise, sighing on my part, backing up and out they come again! In fact she made me laugh at one point as I stopped her to back up as she was rushing and I had only just picked up the Dually rein and she sort of sighed 'oh well' and stepped back on her own accord!

Tomorrow we are going to long rein her out and just give her fun and variety. Jim said to occassionally take her back to the obstacles in the school as she is good at it and it will make her feel relaxed as its easy for her. I do forget she is only 6 and really such a baby - advanced in many ways but so green in others. He did think she had a bit of attitude but I have amazed myself really as oct 2010 was about the first time I had got back on a horse after years and had to be taken out on a led rein!!

IH is so brilliant as it seems to be helping me realise what I can do. I had read so much but couldn't make it work but at last it seems to be coming together (with the fab Jim) and do you know, I'm actually better than I thought

So folks lesson for the day - take it all back to basics. THink about how your horse might be thinking and what their environment is actually doing to them. Chunk it i.e. put it down to manageable bit sized pieces that you can do well at (that's both you and your horse) and pick out the good bits and not the bits that didn't go wrong. xxx

[holi]

many apolgies for my spelling etc but my keyboard is going wonky and not registering letters and I meant the bits that didn't go right!!! lol