Mood / depression and confidence

[narkymare]

Ive just realised how very important your general mood is to confidence in the saddle.
I am really fed up tbh.
My confidence was rubbish but thanks to wonderful support from my yard mates I really built it up - ended up going on long hacks without dismounting - facign many many fears and my horse became much better as a result - much less spooking which eventually didnt bother me anyway.
3 weeks ago my 9 yr old dog who id had since he was 6 weeks old had to be pts suddenly and of course it hit me hard.
That week I didnt hack out at all - but when i did - right back to square one. My horse sensed my unhappiness and turned into mr spookmonster again - ive gone back to hating hacking, Ive even taken him in the school alone and though he is good as gold in there im right back to doing circles at one end again
Im so so upset - Im not sure people at my yard understand and I feel ive let my horse, all the people who helped me and myself down
I do try so hard not to show my emotions round my horse - even at the yard, but how on earth can i disguise it from him - he can so tell despite my cheery voice and singing etc to try and hide it
Sorry for moany post - has anyone else noticed this or been through it?

[narkymare]

On a plus note though my boy has been much more "cuddly" - tucking his head ivery gently into my arms and chest when leading or at his gate even saying goodbye - such wonderful animals

[Andrew Moy]

I'd suggest you might start by not being so hard on yourself. I think it is perfectly acceptable to have periods where things get on top of you. You have realised the impact it has on your riding - which I think is a postive thing. You have as far as I can see used an intelligent approach and gone back to a point where both you and your horse feel safe - another positive thing. It doesn't mean you are stuck at that point forever - you have already proved you can get to the point you can go hacking etc And as you say your horse is more cuddly than normal. You are controlling the things that are within your control - so what else can you ask of yourself? Give yourself credit. Take care.

[narkymare]

Ty so much Andrew - yes you are right, so what if we go back to schooling for a while we have done it before and we will do it again, guess im just kind of shocked of how my emotions affect my boy - ty for your very kind words x

[happysnail]

Sending a hug narkymare. Andrew has expressed it beautifully. Be kind to yourself just now. x

[narkymare]

ty and yes i will happysnail x

[lavenderlanebabies]

I agree with what you have said. I am easily stressed and it affects on how my horse reacts to me so on days like that we say hi over the gate, have a cuddle and I don't attempt to do anything else.

Be easy on yourself and big hugs xx

[sarahlev]

I have also found this. As others have said be kind to yourself, when you are ready, you will be able to pick up where you left off. But give yourself time; the loss of a loved pet is hard. (((hugs)))

[narkymare]

ty all you are all right and i am stopping being so hard on myself - loveley replies and means a lot x

[rifruffian]

Do not try to hide mood, emotions from the horse. They are all far too knowing for that; it's mission impossible. An idea meantime is to make sure you are fair, firm and consistent around the horse. Since you are meantime back to basics, an idea is to set some small, achieveable specific target to achieve each time you visit the horse. When you've got that little thing, whatever it is .......quit......and make sure you yourself and your horse know that was a success.

[claire]

When my dog was pts it really affected my confidence in the saddle. Try not to worry it will come back don't worry about hacking the great outdoors will still be there when your ready!! You may even be feeling better now!! Enjoy your cuddles

[holi]

Sorry to hear you are having problem,s - I'm sure you'll get back there. For me the fact that you have been in the school on your own is a start so well done xxx