newbie wit confidence issues

[sarah2470]

Hi all, I am new to this forum and so glad I have found it I have been struggling with confidence issues for the past 10 years (since losing my beautiful TB, Murphy) I am just beginning to feel a little less anxious around my current horse and my daughters pony! Haven't ridden for about ages though as had a baby 8 months ago - any excuse eh!!!! Anyway I'll not bore you anymore!
Anyway just thought I'd say hi and will be back very soon xxxx

[wabuska]

Hi Sarah. Welcome aboard. Give us more details about the specifics of what's worrying you and maybe we can help. You're not going to bore us, this is a long term thing, getting back to confidence. Kya.

[happysnail]

Welcome Sarah. Folk here are so kind, constructive and supportive and at stages if the confidence journey. Happysnailx

[ladyndibs]

Hello I'm quite new myself and have a 'few' confidence issues and what is lovely here is it doesn't seem to matter what your level of ability or confidence there is usually someone who has struggled in the same way, I've found it's good to feel you're not the only one.

[lizpurlo]

Hi Sarah, and welcome to the DG. This is a brilliant place for getting support for confidence issues - so many of us been through just the same problems. It's so hard having to start again on a new horse after losing a trusted friend, and you're not alone. Liz.

[Mellymoo]

Hello and welcome

You are not alone with confidence issues, and as others have said there are plenty of us on here at varying stages of wibbleness!!

[fth]

this is SUCH a great board for anyone with any confidence wibbles or wobbles -- sometimes just knowing that there are other poeple out there with the same issues makes ALL the difference

it is quite normal to feel wobbles about riding horses -- even people who look confident have had their moments!

taking your time, allowing yourself to have your own journey -- and having friends to help will all make a difference -- also be aware that having recently had a child, you are MUCH more aware of risks and scary things than you used to be!

also, there IS help and support out there - NLP coaches, riding isntructors -- if you find the right ones they can all speed up the process of rediscovering confidence!

Cathy

[sarah2470]

Thanks guys for the support so far I have struggled with all aspects of horse management let alone riding! Just going into the field used to bring me out in a cold sweat but I am now happy to wonder around the field with the horses! My daugher has a 11.2 pony and he needs a lot of work so have been lunging him recently with positive results, in fact I even lunged my horse afterwards!!!
However I still struggle with silly things like rugging up my horse even though he's no problem I did manage to sit on my old pony the other day and even though I felt a great sense of achievement I haven't been keen to repeat the experience!!! I really don't know why, but just thinking about it makes my heart beat faster and my stomach churns
Thanks again for the support and I'll be checking in more often!!!!

[sarahlev]

Hi Sarah. I sympathise with a lack of confidence in all horse handling; I think I'm doing well if I groom the boys, and they are two of the easiest horses you could hope to meet. As someone advised me when I started on here, you can just take tiny steps, and you'll get to where you want to be, there's no rush. All the best, Sarah.

[ladyndibs]

remember what you've done not what you haven't, if confidence was something we all found easy the roads would be full of horses, as sarahlev said tiny steps and though sometimes they might be in the wrong direction overall you will go forward.
When you have a bad day that's all it is just one day and you never end up right back at the begining. Is there anyone nearby who could just be around now and again? where abouts are you?

[lavenderlanebabies]

Hi Sarah

You are not alone. I am just the same, I am 42 and have ridden since I was 6, had ponies since I was a teenager but was never a tally ho kind of rider, was always nervous and cautious.

I now have a 15.2 gelding, HW plod for about a year who I have ridden once and two ponies that are my daughters who is 7 and has 100% confidence. I take tiny steps, today I brought them all in, gave them a groom and a cuddle, my daughter rode her pony then we turned out again. Saying that I haven't done it for a while at once as I too come out in a cold sweat.

Very small steps and don't push yourself too hard.

I look forward to hearing your progress

Carol

[sarah2470]

Once again thank you Lovely to know I have some supportive friends out there, a quality hard to find! I am taking tiny steps and am focussing on the positive! I have got some friends with horses but they are very busy people and I don't like to impose on them much.
Anyway I keep you informed of my progress and thank you again xxxx

[alisond]

Hi Sarah I have just joined the forum and completely relate to you. Found all the responses very helpful. I have two horses and have had them for two years but still don't have much confidence around them. I have never had horses before so feel very out of my depth. They are out on livery and when I go to see them I do look forward to it but feel they know I am nervous and they pick up my vibes. I started having lessons to learn all the basics but the lady who was teaching me fell out with the lady who owns the stables and now can't come over anymore. I feel a bit lost and when I go over to see them all I do is groom them and give them cuddles and treats. I feel I let them down and should be doing more with them. I did try having lessons with someone else but it didn't quite work out. Will I ever progress to actually ride my horses? I am going to see them today and love being around them, but feel constantly guilty that I don't do more for them. Any advise or tips? Reading all your messages has helped. Maybe I'm not alone! I'll let you know how I do today xxx

[sarahlev]

Hi Alison and welcome to the forum!

I can totally understand how you feel. Don't feel you're letting the horses down, they are not goal oriented like we are and are probably quite happy being loved and looked after. Perhaps you could try doing some groundwork with them, like the exercises in "Perfect Manners" for example, if you don't feel ready to ride yet. (I should take my own advice sometimes ha ha)

Sarah, how are you doing?

Sarah x

[alisond]

Hi Sarah
Thanks for your reply. I went to see them today and had a fab time. The lady who owns the livery was there and she really helped me. (She actually gave me this link) She was so encouraging and sat with me whilst I practised. I did some walking exercises making sure they stopped just behind me. Also practises backing them up and moving them round. I groomed them and oiled their hooves and gave them lots of cuddles. I feel on a high now. I need to realise that small steps are positive ones and getting the little things right will give me the confidence to do some bigger things further down the road. I'm going to see them again in the week to get another horsey fix!! Feel great!! Just wanted to share with you all .... x