confidence help needed please

[megisjosh]

Hi its been a few years since I have been on here, im back looking for help and advice please

I have a 15hh sec d x that im bringing back into work, on the ground he is fantastic I lunge ,longrein walk out in hand all with no problem what so ever, but when I get on I keep waiting for him to do something he is tense when I first get on and as we start walking his back feels up and it un nerves me even though after a few mins he starts to relax im forever paranoid he is going to bolt (my last horse bolted and knocked my confidence)
at the moment im riding in the school with my oh leading but I keep thinking ill never get him going on my own

any tips on keeping my nerves under control thanks

[christmasandben]

i think the fact that you are tense is whats making him feel tense, if it was me i would put off all ridden work on him because you anticipate something is going to happen when it might not.

when i help people who are less confident i always offer them would it suit them better if someone else was to ride him to show you that he isnt going to do anything and also help him relax so when you get on him you have seen how he has behaved.

i would also maybe go to a riding school or have you a friends horse that you could ride to maybe get your confidence back up again.

i know and can completey symphatise with you when you have your mind set on something that could happen.

[moosmum]

if you can get someone else to ride him to show you how he behaves in different circumstances sounds like a grand idea. So much of our concerns lay in the 'what if' and any tension they show feeds ours and vice versa no wonder its called a vicious circle! Its very easy when folks tell you to relax try telling that to your body! If you can see how your boy goes under saddle with another person it may give you more reassurance. I have done that numerous times with my mare and it does help, when they tense it always feels worse than it looks and our OMG demons dont help seing other people and your horse working through tense moments will give you more help.
Good luck