hacking nightmare today - ripped my confidence to

[narkymare]

My yardmate took me and my boy out today, her riding her horse. She is brillaint, knows i get scared and has helped me so much trying ot overcome this.
1. Was in some local woods when my horse became agitated - a boy behind us walking his dog ( a staffie type) off lead and throwing twigs for the dog. He didnt keep away or put lead on his dog and my boy started prancing, going sideways i did my usual (so so annoyed wiht myself) and jumped off. When the boy came nearer i couldnt be angry with him - he was a teenager with obvious learnign difficulties - he was more scared of us then us of them. But he didnt try to hold his dog back or pick the dog up or anything - came closer and closer with my horse getting more and more worried - i dont blame the boy at all, its not a typically horsey area and poor lad hadnt a clue what to do - i just held my horse tight till theyd passed.
So I decided to lead horse back to yard - in truth i couldnt ride - i was literally shaking.
We went to a big verge opposite our yard to cross main busy leeds ring road to go home- we were all hi vized, us and horses.
My friend still riding was in front - me leading my boy behind her
A big 4 by 4 stopped and flashed ot let us cross - other cars behind also stopped obviously.
We waited till other side was clear and stepped out - we,d just past the 4 by 4 when a car came screeching down - hed overtaken the waiting cars!!!
How he missed my friends horse i dont know but he screeched noisily to a halt
Luckily both horses behaved impeccably but its shredded me - i cannot go anywhere from my yard without crossing a road - id done so so well but with a lot of effort and for no reason - now i have a reason to be scared and i just know its ruined everything
Sorry, no advice expected but im so so worried i wont venture out again!!!

[rifruffian]

Take confidence that you did everything right. Read your own post again. Was there any calamity ? No. Were you aware and proactive in face of difficulty ? Yes. That has got to be "well done".

Continue with your programme, taking care as much as you can to set up everything possible in advance, for a good result.

You did well.

[narkymare]

oh thank you riff - no nothng bad did happen. I have to think that - in fact me my friend and both horses did blooming well considering! ty

[sophieandmaisie]

I know the fear of hacking out!! Maisie messed about once so I got off and walked the mile home! since then I've been on small hacks with company and alone (maisie likes to be infront so she's better on her own) and gone as far as I'm confident with, doing a little further each time, even if its just 20 yards!! she spooked the other day and cantered down the lane with me, but I was confident enough to stop her and then carry one (plus she won't learn cantering away means me getting off and going home). Just go as far as you feel confident, take deep breaths and I go into my own little world! Maisie is pretty much bombproof and the lane is reasonably quiet. With your boy I think doing as much or as little as you want and you will both gain confidence! even leading out in hand first to get him used to the route!
And as for the driver overtaking, WHAT AN IDIOT!!! some people really are stupid and impatient! Really annoys me!!
Good luck with your boy!

[anastasia55555]

Sometimes people dont even realise they are causing a problem. Also the less shirty you are they often oblige, shout up next time and ask if they could stop for a bit until you are out of site. Most decent people dont mind :-) just having the guts to ask. Also it doesnt sound like you didnt cope, you knew what to do for the best and did it!

[narkymare]

ty everyone x

[Kelly aka Brooke!]

I think you did a brilliant job too (agree with Rif) although we all do our best to prepare for situations like this, it's how we evaluate them/ what we do when the unexpected happens that really makes a difference - you made sure that you were both safe and that's what matters :-) Well Done.

I think you should put a plan in place to rebuild your confidence, take as much time as you need, the important thing is that your both safe and you enjoy your time together, remember all the good points/ little successes too - because you sound like a very sensible/ capable person anyway - so keep up the good work!

Good luck!

[narkymare]

aw ty kelly that is so nice! yes looking back there was certainly no panicking - i did dismount calmly and we did have a loveley walk back through teh woods, he was always a bit nervy in there anyway so i let him see and sniff all the strange logs and twigs etc - ty i am going ot build back up to it slowly - theres no rush !!!xxx

[daisysp8]

Try not to fret too much. He was agitated and you dealt with it well and then had a steady amble back home through the woods, that to me sounds a lot better option than staying aboard and hoping for the best. Rome wasn`t built in a day and these things do take time.

Your yard reminds me of my old yard in Leeds too, we had the ring road to cross and used to wait on the big verge, but most still went flying up and down like lunatics

[guesstimation]

We often think far too much about the "what ifs" I know I used to and still do to an extent. I lost my nerve for about 8 months and didn't hack out, so worried thinking what if a car comes too fast around the corner, or what if the horse bucks and I come off or can't control it for any other reason, always thinking of the negatives and I just gave up and rode around my field once a month! One day I'd had enough, was thinking what is the point of having and paying for a riding horse if I am not going to ride! I did everything to try to help me feel better about going out, initially in company, always with my mobile on me having rung someone to say where I was going, hi viz and a back protector, gave me and the horse rescue remedy lol, and calming aromatherapy! it all helped me feel much more secure.

I built up slowly just down the road and back, after a couple of months I was really enjoying myself again, still had some nerves but managed to just bury them a bit deeper and get on. The odd incident happened as it does but I always managed to deal with it - like you managed to deal with your incident this time - take from it that things happened but neither you nor your horse are injured and neither is any one else and you stayed together all the way!

The clocks were due to go back and so it was my last chance to ride after work, it was raining and windy but I had got back in to it so much I took her out in the wind! I was quote amazed at myself and still am a little ;D

I had to sell my horse in the end due to health and risk of low finances due to the health but not before I rode here through the scary town centre and up on to the moors alone!

After I sold her I rode a variety of my friends last year and again dealt with different situations proving I could do it. Most recently I have found a new horse to ride regularly and he played about a bit the other day but again I dealt with it and each time I deal with it and we are safe it helps me feel much happier about going out the next time.

Not sure that any of that helps but I know what it feels like to be a bag of nerves and not want to go out for fear of what might happen but I found a way to overcome it and I am sure with perseverence you can too! Good Luck :-)

[narkymare]

ty so much guest - yes all that makes so much sense! i do think foar far too much if the what ifs but am trying ot deal with it logically and persistently. I know i am most scared of falling off therefore loosing control of hima nd him bolting and god knows what - so am doing lots of work with my instructor on balance, ridign without stirrups - we are going ot do spookbusting work in teh school fo rme and my boy - he can be so so sensible but he can also spook at lots of things - we are goign ot do spookbusiting in teh school while i am riding. I know i will hate this but i know it will help us both build our confidence.
I really just dont want either of us to be hurt - that is what scares me x

[drache]

You and your horse are the star , the plonker was in the car !!!

[narkymare]

thank you so much drache - and yes we were!!!xxx

[indigo]

Just a quick one, sounds like you are trying really hard and have made great progress even if it's hard to feel that way lol. With the things following you, like walkers with dogs,or livestock, or even tractors sometimes, I have always turned around and ridden back past them and then carried on following them. I used to ride mostly Arabs and for some reason things creeping up from behind and taking ages to over take they really hated. If you stop, face the thing that is worrying you, ride towards it, hiving it a safe amount of space and then turn back around and "chase" it along, it gives both you and the horse a real boost of confidence and gets the scarey bit of it over and done with! Might be worth a try if you find yourself in that sort of situation again xxx

[narkymare]

indigo ty so so much - you are so right - my horse is always spooky of things behind him, i had never thougth of doing this - ty.
Another excellent tip x