A question for parents

[kafee]

I'd never worried about falling off before children, I just got back on. When I returned to riding when my youngest was about a year old, so I had 3 under 5's, I carried on happily where I left off, until one day, a mare I'd just started exercising, reared up and came over backwards, 3 times. The first 2 times I jumped off, the third she came down the other way trapping me underneath, and then proceeded to grind me into the ground by having a good old roll on top of me. Surprisingly I was totally uninjured. I was in a bark school, but even so, I was very lucky not be to be injured. That made me re-evaluate who I rode and where, but didn't affect my confidence.

Nowadays I do worry about falling off: the ground is a lot harder than it used to be! I rely on my instincts, and if I don't feel confident about riding for any reason, I don't ride. So far, so good!

[varkie]

I did lose confidence after having my daughter. In my case it was due to feeling out of balance, and worrying I couldn't sit or ride as well. I put on a lot of weight during my pregnancy due to injury, and felt totally out of balance when I rode. I still have weight to lose now, so still don't feel the same.

I've also had it complicated by a major riding accident which almost totally finished my already fragile confidence off. I'm trying to come back from that, but it's hard work.

Ask me again a year from now! When I've hopefully finished losing the weight, and I'm riding more often again!

[natty]

i still do suffer confidence issues (as some of you no) and thats 2 years after having my daughter i think that if maybe i could of ridden through my pregnancy i may be more confident but i had to stop riding at 6 weeks because i had 2 miscarriages before and i started to bleed at 6 weeks. so i handled my horse a lot from the ground but i found it was when he knocked me over when i was 20 weeks pregnant that was where my problems started although i never realised it until i got the horse i have now.
my fear is not only me getting hurt it is also the people around me and if i make a single mistake it could hurt someone. i never used to care and used to have it in my mind that if anyone got hurt they shouldnt have been in the way but now ive turned into a mother, and not only to my daughter to everyone even people who are old enough to be my mum.

i dont think men have as many confidence issues after having children (depending on the man) some just grow up and want to spend all their free time with family, i think that with a womans hormones on a constant roller-coaster throughout the pregnancy and can be up to months after the baby is born, i think this can make a womans mind go all over the place and possibly make reality hit and wanting to stay safe for the children and the partners who spend such little precious time with the children.

[mrsmills]

I didn't ride around the birth of my children, and I can remember having very strong feelings about not wanting to take any risk because my maternal instinct was so strong I "HAD" to be there for my children.

Interestingly, since my children hit teenage years, I have happily returned to more risk taking, although I still tend to take my responsibility as a parent very seriously. This has coincided with a feeling that I've got my life back to a certain extent, and I can now do things "for me" - hence more horsey time.

I think instincts to protect and be there for children are stronger in women. I also think women tend to analyse things more!

[cookie]

Interesting this has come back up. I've now been back in the saddle 6 weeks or so and feel my confidence in my boy is pretty unchanged from before... I think it would be different if i was riding different horses all the time...