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Post by arizona on Sept 5, 2009 8:45:14 GMT 1
So sorry Carol - I know from experience that there is nothing anyone can say that will make you feel better but one day ( and it will be a long time yet) someone will mention his name and it will make you smile instead of cry .Take your time .Thinking of you and your family at this sad time xx
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Caroline
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Post by Caroline on Sept 5, 2009 15:32:57 GMT 1
Oh carol, I'm so sorry to hear your news. I lost my Dad last year. I won't say i know what you feel like, because we all feel it in different ways. I think grief is one of the final earthly chapters in a relationship. It brings out all the feelings, memories and aspects of your relationship and time together. I think that's why it is so personal an experience. It's part of the process of loving someone - a side of the coin that, whilst incredibly painful, has a beauty and significance of it's own.
The tears will very likely come exactly when they need to or feels right. Many people report something similar. When they do, and if they don't feel they will stop, they will gradually get less frequent. I remember crying almost all day at first - then quite a few times a day, then once or twice a day, then once a day, then a few times a week...and now, 18 months down the line, it's about once a week when something touches me, when I feel someone elses pain, when something reminds me of the things that were special to Dad and I.
Sending much love and good wishes to you. Do try and look after yourself in this period. Eating sensibly and getting as much sleep as possible, with some gentle routine in between - all good things that will help you get through this.
Big hugs xxxx
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carol
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Post by carol on Sept 5, 2009 21:36:47 GMT 1
You lot, you really are the most wonderful people, even though I've never met you. Thank you so much for all your kind words. It means so much.
A bit more about my Dad. I was adopted at 6 weeks old. My Mum couldn't have shildren. My Mum and Dad were on the list to adopt for ages, and one day they got a phone call to say that I was there and available. They raced to London to see me and pick me up on the same day, they filled in the forms and I was theirs, and they had nothing prepared so I spent the first week sleeping in a drawer and being wheeled about a doll's pram. In those days they tried to match an adopted child with one of the parents (how?God knows!!) but I rapidly grew to look very like my dad, dark hair, green eyes, tall, and I was very definatly Daddy's girl. My parents always said I was special, and I did feel special, but more with my Dad than my Mum. Poor Mum, she'd wanted a girly girl, but I threw the knitting and dollies in the bin and was outside with Dad in my dungarees, covered in mud, and riding any pony that I could beg borrow or steal before she had time to turn around. Sorry Mum!
And so it went on....
Only today I tried to cheer myself up by going to a little local horse show, and there in a field next door I discovered a lovely pony for sale, and as we speak I'm trying to find a way to buy him, and my Dad, wherever he is, will be laughing and shaking his head, and saying 'typical Carol'.......
P.S. it's gorgeous New Forest gelding, rose grey, 2 yrs old, very bad mannered but I'm sure he can be sorted out...
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milo
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milo, lily, bob,henry and monty
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Post by milo on Sept 6, 2009 18:14:55 GMT 1
well i'm sure its ment to be for you to buy him then, so sorry to hear of your loss,i lost my dad 17 years ago and it doesnt get any easier,i still talk to him and when things go wrong i look up at the stars and tell him my troubles,he was a wondefull man as i'm sure your dad was to you,remember hes always with you nomatter where you are or what you do,hes always there in your heart, you'll hear his voice in your head and i'm sure this little gelding will help you through the bad times, all the best xx
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Post by gwenoakes on Sept 6, 2009 19:40:44 GMT 1
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