I think it's disgusting to treat customers like that-riding is supposed to be fun-you are paying so you should be able to do as much or as little as you want, with encouragement! I prefer the 'littlies' too. I am 5'10" and my horse is 14hh (she is Icelandic so can easily carry me, and is very wide so I don't look too bad!) Hope something works out for you!
you siad you were bullied before looks like the people at the yard can see your weakness perhaps I am not being rude here I have been there myself. I would not say boo to a goose and was easily pushed around, and like you go ranting away at home. I plucked up the courage to go to a self help class in my case self assertiveness in body language and communication. It worked wonders I have been told I am a changed person, I have been able to deal with issues at home a work without being bullied, yes my family did it too, not deliberatly I do not think but it was what I was like for a while. Then you will be able to stand up to these ignorant people and say your piece. they have no right to be so rude paying customer or not. As someome suggested above have a chat with the private yard and see if you can help out with mucking out, grooming etc and get your confidence back.
Post by breezeocean4tray on Dec 29, 2005 22:03:17 GMT 1
There is lots of people needing sharers, im one of them, but sadly to far away...... Have u tried putting an ad in ur local paper. This is were i advertise for a sharer....
What about the yo u talk about, could she not let u help her out, in exchange for a ride......
Try also advertising on new rider web site, also stable talk.......
As for buying ur own horse, my advice is dont rush in..... When i got bk in2 horses just over 3 yrs ago, with a 21 yr gap. I bought Breeze she was the 1 st horse i went 2 look at, fell in love with her, my friend rode her (very experience) and said she is fine....cut along story short, when i got her home and rode her, she was way 2 much horse 4 me...... I then went 2 horse sales on my own, and i had a horse in mind, 14.2 Irish Gypsy Cob piebald. It took me 9 months 2 find Ocean. I got on her bareback, with just a halter and lead rope, and i instantly knew she was the horse 4 me.......she has given me bk my confidence in the last 2 yrs......that a few wks ago for the 1st time in 2 yrs i rode breeze out on a hack with my daughter on Ocean. There is a horse out there lucitania, that will do and be everything u ever dreamt of, just be patient hun and dont give up......
As for the nasty people at the riding school, unfortunately thats life, they exsist..... If u still carry on going there, just think 2 urself, what sad, bitter, twisted lives they must have, and pity them.......
I really do wish u the best of luck lucitania.......Lv Tray xx
Perhaps if you can get a share and are spending more than an hour or two with a horse it would build up your confidence up, plus you would have the horses owner to help out and share things with. When your around a horse of your own and doing everything for it and getting to know each other it should work wonders for your confidence. Good luck. Who know perhaps there is s dger near to you who would be happy to help you get your confidence back
That's a bril suggestion about helping on the private yard- I have asked the YO if there are horses going for a share/loan, but didn't think to ask if she needed a hand. I might just ring her up and see what she says....
Jinks- I am a bit of a funny mix in a way that it takes me a while to heat up- and during that time I will not speak my mind- but when I explode, I really explode.....When these people ignore me, I just want to shout at them "OI! I was talking to you!" but I just can't. I definitelu agree that the bullies sense something sensitive about people like us and pick on us for that reason. Two weeks ago I did explode (after this alleged, hugely incompetent "instructor", who has a real "I am too good to help you" attittude invaded my school and lesson) and really let rip, I was really very cross and you could tell.... (no effing or anything, don't worry!) well now people think that I am a mad cow or something and are really refusing to talk to me.
Tomorrow my husband is goig to come with me to book a lesson next week (would be nice to have a useful lessons for once....), and if there is any bitchiness going on in the office, he will sort these lazy cows out. (he never loses his temper, but he has a way of making people 'obey' through careful use of words. He has studied body language, and that comes in helpful in the business world, when you have to try and make people like you even if you are saying aggressive things. Sadly, I haven't got any of that.)
You see, the manager would step in if someone swore at me or slapped me across the face, just about, etc. But she is also the type of person, who finds this rudeness part of everyday life, so complaining to her about this attitude in general would be futile.
Thank you so much everyone for your comforting words. I guess this is the way I will go forwards. Breeze- I agree about not rushing into buying, I am only loking for a loan. If there was a share going locally, I would be very happy with that. ( I don't drive so that limits my options).
I will contact the YO in question- she can't allow me to ride other people's horses, but it would be nice just to be around them, help with grooming etc. That's the stuff you don't learn in a riding school.
Lucitania, sorry to hear it's not going well for you. Is the riding school registered with the BHS or ABRS? If so, perhaps ypu could write to the organisation in question and let them knoe about how you've been treated - not sure if they have customer charters that riding schools must abide by, but I would have thought that your treatment qualifies as a breach of any charters or guidlelines in place!
You will find the right horse - Hamish and me were destined to be together, even though we both have confidence issues. The bond is there, no matter what happens! You will find your equine match made in heaven!
If you go to a shop and you keep getting repeatedly bad service then most people will eventually find another shop ............ so too with riding schools.
True .... the service decribed for this school is pretty appalling ....... if it is big and they dont care, you are unlikely to be able to change much. Any business that does not execute its duties in a reasonable manner will eventually, in most cases, hit the wall...........
If your getting so wound up before you even get there, then your lesson is not going to be productive. Any business has to conform to a customer-supplier relationship both morraly and legally. If this one is byond redemption then trying to change them is probably not going to do you any good..... write to the owners explaining your reasons ...... and find another school If it means going to one further away ... so be it......... better to go to a good one, even once a fortnight than a bad one once a week.
You see, a riding lesson is not just the 45 minutes or so you spend on the horses back. The lesson starts when are putting on your chaps and boots at home - it finishes when you have got home, showered and reviewed the effectiveness, or otherwise, of the experience. If the trend is not progressive then you need to review your strategy.
Retreat, review, redefine .... given the outcome of that process take the neccessary action to achieve short, medium and long term goals. You are in control of all that .........
Wildrover, I could not agree with you more about the lesson being a lot longer than the 45-60 minutes you pay for! When my current instructor started teaching there a good year ago, I was simply over the moon, because I used to come home from each lesson feeling that I had learnt so much- couldn't wait to go back.
I really don't think complaining to the BHS would do much good, as animal welfare is ok and at least a couple of the older instructors seem to know what they are doing. The girls who mainly teach children (and novice adults who don't mind the humiliation) are simply dreadful- they scream and shout (I can't really blame them, a lot of the kids are simply horrible!) and there is no actual teaching going on. When I came back to riding summer last year, I had two private lessons with one of these screamers (and I said to her I had not ridden for 10 years!), then joined an adult group of about four; we were supposed to 'work independently' in all paces (I was probably the least novicy one in that group and that is not saying much!) and after a few weeks the jumps came up. At this point I said to this girl, that I personally didn't know how to work independently as I was a complete beginner and didn't feel safe going over jumps. I also said that I felt scared when one person in particular went around cantering, not really being able to steer the horse or brake, and asked if it would be possible to work under instuction. The girls just dismissed me, I went to having lessons with my curent instructor, and this girl has been a right b*tch ever since. I have since spoken to a number of people who have quit riding (there) because of some staff members, this girl in particular. It is obvious that she finds teaching and a lot of yard work beneath her- in her lessons she mainly sits on the sides and occasionally screams at someone to kick harder.
I would gladly change schools, but I would have to rely on my husband to take me, and this would be occasional at the most. I went into the office today with my husbabd, but unfortunately none of the nasty people were there. ( I would have loved to see them try and bully my OH like they do me.....). I said to the lady that the mare was quite silly yesterday and that I didn't want to ride her again. She didn't dare quibble..... ;D
My husband keeps encouraging me to keep at it until we find a loan horse for me. I guess I must focus on the pleasure I will get being finally able to vote with my feet. I get a lot of comfort and confidence from my OH, although he knows nothing about horses- he will be around next week to keep me company before my lessons and 'sort out' anyone not behaving in a courteous manner. (well, good luck with that.... ;D)
If anyone is thinking of going to a new riding school in Wiltshire, then perhaps they might want to PM me for a word of advice.
Just an afterthought.... if and when the day comes when I have a horse in the stable, I feel that the best way for me to feel more confident is to get to know the horse on the ground first.I feel this is a major factor to my feeling confident on a friend's TB eventer and not on a riding scool horse- I have got to know this horse on the ground and am convinced he is not out to kill me. ;D While I am interested in Intelligent Horsemanship, so far my 'experience' doesn't go beyond reading books..... I was wondering if I could get someone out (RA?) to teach me the basics of things like join up and to suggest some bonding exercises? Can this kind of stuff be taught in the very basic form in a couple of sessions? I am not planning on getting a problematic horse, so hopefully all this would be for the benefit of further understanding and having confidence in eahother, not for solving specific problems. Who should I approach for this? (any recommendations in the Wiltshire area, for when the time finally comes?)
If you're in Wiltshire you can't be too far from Claire Lilley, the classical trainer. Might be well worth you getting in touch and seeing if she has any school masters. She may well be more expensive than you are paying for now, but she is one of the top trainers in the country as far as classical dressage goes, I have no doubt she will very effectively improve your seat and as a result your confidence should also improve.
hiya! sounds like absolute hell!!! i didnt ride for years because i hated the way ridding schools( in my area) treated people like they were muck! i then as a relitive novice brought a fantasticly well behaved horse and ive never looked back/
i have had some major set backs with my confidence but i no my horse and i no he wudnt harm me! i think you will no the same once you have your own! we spent lots of time just getting to now each other on the ground (my sister rode for me) and by the time it came to get on him i already knew him so well i didnt bother about him being silly and spooky!
i really would get out of the ridding school if i were u ..ridding is your hobby u dont deserve to be treated like that!
has the lady from the privat yard sed anything about the possiblity of helping up there?
if only you were closer i have been looking for a sharer for otto hope you find one of your own soon so u can get going on ur own without all the nastyness of the yard!
Hi all again, Jenny, I do know of Claire Lilley. I I know she has the occasional clinic near me, but not sure where her home base is. I would have thought she would be teaching more advanced riders on their own horses? Does she have her own horses to teach on as well? I had planned to go to her with my own horse, once I can ride like a semi-competent person again....What really bugs me is that before my back went a few months back, I was riding the best (but not the easiest by far....) horse in the school and getting on really well, the seat was good(ish ;D ) and to get this big and idle horse (yet talented and moody, always the way....) go so nicely for me was a real achievement. Then my back went and things seemed to get quite bad at the riding school. I seem to have regressed back to the wobbly novice stage, my hands are doing rising trot and reins are hanging like washing lines, I keep slipping in the stirrups etc. I wonder how it is possible to take such a huge step backwards?
However, all the support from you lot has cheered me up an awful lot- so thank you all sooooo very much! I am suppsed to go and see the private YO after I have viewed a horse next weekend to talk about some things anyway. (I really do hope he works out, for some reason I get a good feeling about this one....) If he doesn't, I will ask the YO about doing things on the yard. I am going to contact a local lady with and arab mare in need of unlimited riding- at the moment the mare is elsewhere, but she said to call her in January to see when the mare will be coming back. The owner is not well enough to ride and just want someone to take the mare on and do loads of hacking on a 1000 acre estate. The mare has escaped the muddy season to a livery yard, but if and when she comes back, there might be a chance there.
The funny thing is that I feel more relaxed and confident handling other people's horses, even the ones that do fuss a bit and pull on the lead etc. That sort of stuff at the riding school would give me a nervous breakdown. I guess it must be mostly my negative feelings that make me this way, having learnt to associate going to the school with getting a hard time.
I am also comforted by the number of people here getting their own horses, despite not being that exprienced/confident, and making things work. I also try and remind myself that one of the safest horses I used to ride at the school (he is now semi retired, sadly, due to foot problems) is no midget, being a WB of about 16.2. I considered buying him a while back, but then he started showing symptoms of athiritis. So I keep repeating to myself 'big horses can be safe' over and over again. ;D (the one I am going to see is about 16.2).
Wildrover, it is easy to say that you should not care about what people say or think, but being rather thin skinned and not super-confident, b*tchy people do sometimes get to me. However, they will only get to me if I let them, so onwards and upwards, as they say!
I think I will have to bite the bullet and take things as they go, try and concentrate on finding my horse and then starting from scratch, if need be. My husband rather smartly pointed out that when I have my horse, we can pay the YO to lunge him and I can take my time getting on him, even if it takes weeks. Wildrover, a good point you made about focusing on what I need to do now (keep my riding going etc.). I have been panicking about my lessons being so c*ap and my abilities regressing, I completely forgot that with my own horse I will have all the time I need to re-start with a positive attitude. Mind you, I wonder if there is a horse 'safe' enough for me, one with a pulse, anyway? ;D
To finish with.....would someone like to share or loan a horse?
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