serenity
Intermediate Poster
Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm
Posts: 152
|
Post by serenity on Dec 21, 2005 12:24:25 GMT 1
I've had a couple of lessons with a new instructor & I'm doubting that she's the right person for my horse. My reasons are mostly a bit vague which makes me wonder if I'm being unfair but I feel uneasy. Main reasons are: 1) she doesn't like to do long & low as she says it encourages him onto his forehand but I feel it helps him loosen up & stretch over his back. She says if he's worked correctly he'll loosen anyway 2) she says he needs winding up to get more reaction but all this does is make him tense. I don't want him responding to my leg by running away & that's how he feels when we try this. 3) she feels he should work for me not with me - I've always worked on co-operation. 4)the day after his last lesson he felt sore in his quarters & moved away from his tack when I took it into his box. Unheard of!
Am I being a sentimental fool or would any of these worry you? This horse normally likes to work & is a trier. Although he can sometimes need a bit of firing up its normally done by playing around not harrassing him & that way he still likes to come in the arena.
|
|
|
Post by Casper on Dec 21, 2005 12:29:48 GMT 1
I'd change trainers. At the end of the day this is your horse and your money being spent on the lessons. You have to be happy that both your trainer and yourself are working in harmony towards a common aim, in a manner which YOU find appropriate. Always trust your gut instincts, if it doesn't seem/feel right it probably isn't. Good luck with finding a more suitable trainer for you - they are out there! Maybe you could also ask to watch any potential new trainer coaching someone else first before you commit to a lesson with them. If they are any good they would be delighted to do this for you.
I don't think you are a sentimental fool at all Serenity, you are listening to your horse which is to be commended.
|
|
|
Post by june on Dec 21, 2005 12:31:21 GMT 1
I'd change instructors! It is the working for me bit that would really worry me. Yes, horses need to work and have a job to do but it is a much more satisfying experience when you are both enjoying it and it doesn't feel like one is dominating the other. It should be a partnership.
|
|
|
Post by chrissiew on Dec 21, 2005 12:31:25 GMT 1
I would be concerned about point 4 in particular, but mainly my advice would be if these things are worrying you enough to post on here, then find another instructor. Its not so much the rights and wrongs, as the suitability for your needs of this instructor.
You aren't happy, so find an instructor who will do things more your way but still allow progress, so keeping you feeling more comfortable and enjoying your lessons. After all, we pay too much and work too hard to not enjoy our lessons.
Thats my view anyway. I've had friends carry on for months/years with an instructor who is making them feel uncomfortable in their methods and it just makes them miserable. I'm a great believer that its often not so much how fantastically brilliant an instructor is as to whether they can convey and teach in a manner which suits their pupil. Its a very personal relationship and where one instructor's method suit one person, they may not sit comfortably with another.
|
|
serenity
Intermediate Poster
Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm
Posts: 152
|
Post by serenity on Dec 21, 2005 12:35:40 GMT 1
I didn't think I'd get replies this quickly. Thank you I didn't book up another lesson this time so I'm going to go with my feelings & find someone else. It's just nice to know it's not me being silly & fussing too much!
|
|
|
Post by LisaM on Dec 21, 2005 12:35:41 GMT 1
I too would change - I had a battle of my own hopping from one pants instructor to another very disheartening; especially as they're meant to be helping you not causing distress for all involved. I have finally found a wonderful inst. she ticks all the boxes. She has the knowledge and understanding. Unfortunately she charges double eeeeek ! hey ho - I'm happy horse is happy - thus making oh happy and us poor! lol
|
|
|
Post by gem on Dec 21, 2005 12:45:45 GMT 1
I would change, my instructor does say that the horse is working for me, that they get 22 odd hours a day to do there own thing so under saddle they are expected to do what I ask, and this doesnt bother me as i understand the theory behind what he's saying, the other points worry me and i wouldnt feel comfortable with it
|
|
varkie
Grand Prix Poster
Grand Prix Poster
Posts: 4,913
|
Post by varkie on Dec 21, 2005 12:50:13 GMT 1
Yup, another one here in favour of changing trainers.
If you have concerns, they are never silly, always trust gut feelings.
|
|
anon
Grand Prix Poster
Posts: 1,014
|
Post by anon on Dec 21, 2005 13:02:25 GMT 1
I'd change trainers.
I like horses to be able to stretch and relax - and THEN work becuase they are READY to work
|
|
|
Post by wildrover on Dec 21, 2005 13:13:09 GMT 1
Well, cant really judge on the coments you make in your op - and each comment would be ina particular context - e.g. 4 might not have had anything to do with the lesson or trainer ... might just been your imagination rather than a problem......
I think too many people get instructors that tell them what they want to hear - rather than how it actually is. I certainly would not make a judgement on whether this trainer is suitable or not. What I would do is check out her background - get references etc. A new trainer is going to do things differently ..... you dont want to lose a potentially good trainer by incorrect initial instincts.....
The other thing I think people do wrong is keep the same trainer for too long .... it then becomes a weekly hourly chat rather than a lesson ..... I always think it is always useful to change an instructor after a year or 18 months....... to eliminate staleness.....
|
|
|
Post by Susan on Dec 21, 2005 13:25:22 GMT 1
Instructors are for people.Your gut feeling says its wrong..so go with that.. Lesson I should have listened to..far to many times..and especially ref instructors.
Your own ideals sound good to me.. hers dont...IMHO.
|
|
|
Post by amelia on Dec 21, 2005 13:38:32 GMT 1
yep i'd change too, in order to learn properly you have to find an instructor who suits you and your horse - don't mean to say that there won't be times you'll question their ideas but you must be able to trust that they have your and your horse's best interests at heart.
|
|
serenity
Intermediate Poster
Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm
Posts: 152
|
Post by serenity on Dec 22, 2005 13:27:49 GMT 1
Thanks everyone, the fact that you nearly all confirm what I feel does make me feel better about this.
Wildrover I know that comments are made in a context & I have tried hard to look at them this way, that's why I wanted other people's opinions even though I'd pretty much decided what to do. I can assure you though that the moving away from his tack wasn't imagined - he went from the front where he was eating his hay to the back of the box & trying to keep his head to me so I couldn't get the saddle on. This really is so unheard of for him that I put his saddle down & checked him all over in case anything was wrong! I know this horse well & for him that's a very strong negative reaction - he has to be very worried before he moves away from me.
|
|
cesca
Novice Poster
Posts: 9
|
Post by cesca on Dec 22, 2005 13:58:37 GMT 1
Hi serenity, please change, now. You are in the exact situation I was a few months ago - and I raised a post on here nearly identical to yours. Hundreds of pounds later I finally listened to my gut (and the other DGers!!), took off all the gadgets that had been put on my horse, and rang my old instructor, whom I (and my horse) adore.
The fact is, even if their methods DO work, if you have that nagging doubt in your mind you won't go through with the exercises they give you with the determination they require.
Please change, don't make my mistake! Your situation sounds so similar to mine. My horse was getting tense too and that gets you both absolutely nowhere I think, no matter what the methods. He too is an honest trier and never needed gadgets galore and forceful methods to get him going nicely, a bit of time and patience and being very clear does it far more effectively, rewardingly and quickly!
Good luck with whatever you decide.
|
|
|
Post by wildrover on Dec 22, 2005 18:03:59 GMT 1
Serenity - sure thing. If you got a negative vibe for your instructor it probably aint gonna work .. even if she is a 'good' instructor. The 'imagination' comment was more to do with suggesting that when we dont want to do something we look for excuses not to do it ..... and see problems that are not there...... but its always your call. Not sure how anyone defines a 'good' instructor ... but a starting point I guess is whether progress is being made. If not, is it the fault of the rider or the instructor? ? BTW - I like the name Serenity - I could do with having you .......... er .......... in a manner of speaking!!!!!
|
|