Hi - nervous rider

[Mandy]

Hi,

I own a 6 year old 14 hands irish cob called Jasper. He is a lovely boy. Very quiet on the ground etc but is a little excitable when we go out. He is not happy about going out on his own. I have owned him now for 3 months and we have only been out once on our own. Would love to overcome this and enjoy a hack out on our own. We are both having schooling lessons - which I hope will help us both a lot. When we do attempt to go out on our own, my nerves get the better of me. I am really confident with him on the ground and lunging him - it's just when I am riding him - I have no confidence in my riding abilities although I have been told by my instructor that my riding ability is very good. I would love to hear from anyone who has/or is experiencing a similar situation.

Thanks

[berylsmum]

I am in pretty much the same situation with Beryl. She is the sweetest girl to handle, like a big dog, she just gets nervous when ridden. As I am a nervous rider we wind each other up. To be honest at the moment I am not riding her very much. I have got a sharer who is very confident who mainly rides her. It is helping a lot both giving her confidence about going out and building up my confidence seeing her being good.

I am also in the process of buying a second more laid back horse to help build my confidence so eventually I will be able to get back on Beryl. I have found a really nice little mare she just has to pass her vetting now.

Would it be possible for you to start by leading your boy out inhand or getting your instructor or another confident person to hack him out.?

I am trying to take it slowly. I have had Beryl for nearly three years now and my confidence with riding her has got worse when I have tried to push too far too fast. I am determined to get there eventually, however long it takes.

Good luck, you certainly are not the only one out there.

[Liz]

Hi, I am another who has lost confidence after 50 years of riding and this from one who used to hunt, team chase and do all the gung ho stuff!! The last tumble shattered my nerve because it hurt and being older I do not recover so well!

I have just started riding again after recovering from my injuries and have been out of the saddle since November. I am building up gradually with the help of a young friend who has been riding my nice (very big!)young horse 4 times a week since February. He was not the horse from whom I fell! I have ridden 5 times this last 10 days, only short sessions, and my confidence is gradually, slowly returning. I cannot bear to be by myself yet and I am not pushing myself too much. I have set a pattern of slightly increasing what I do each day - currently, I am riding for 15 minutes and plan to do a little more tomorrow. I find this is working for me. My friends at the yard are great and have volunteered to escort me for short hacks when I feel ready but no-one is forcing me to do more than I feel able to do.

I do wish you both all good luck and hope you can progress.

[brandysnap]

I am a nervous rider too. I was brave as a youngster but when I had children I started to think how I couldn't get hurt because I had responsibilities, which is how lots of women feel I think. This is a good thread nice to know we are not alone.

I have owned a few ponies but never met the right one. I am looking to get another but not looking to do loads of riding and was thinking of getting a small pony that a child has outgrown or even a youngster to fuss over.

Don't know what to do and funds to buy are limited at the moment.

[Liz]

Good news - I am progressing and am now riding for half an hour - slow but steady progress!!

[mandy]

Hi,

Thanks ever so for your replies. I had a major development last Sunday and with the help of my instructor rode my boy out on my own. It was great - a few spooky moments but we coped. I have now been out on my own three times and we are getting better each time we go out. Going to be really brave tonight and have a canter on my own. We are getting there and I will keep you guys posted on our progress.

[fcw]

Hi nervous rider
I am new to this so hope I get it right. Like you and everyone else who has 'spoken' to you I am/have been a nervous rider. But I spent some time on a 2 x 2 day course run by Caroline Putus called 'Enjoy Riding'. It was a superb experience and I feel since then I haven't looked back, my confidence has grown and grown. She works using NLP and other techniques to help the individual to overcome his/her anxieties etc.

Good luck.

[caustic]

I had a fall a year ago from my new horse, made me a nervous wreck, not that i particularly hurt myself, was more where i had bruises and the thought of what could have happened. With the help of some really nice people I have gone from hyperventilating at even the thought that i had to get on the next day, to being able to canter. Takes a while but with the right encouragement you can get back to normal eventually, I am not there yet but we are getting there.

[mandy]

Hi Guys,

Just wanted to say thank you for all your comments and advice. It is really nice to know that I am not the only one out there who is nervous. Things have been progressing very slowly with my boy over last week or two. He had to be rested for a week because he had a tooth out and that's set us back a bit. He is a little jumpy/nervous when I have taken him out (in company and not on my own yet). We are going to try and ride on our own tonight and try and relax. Could have really done without having that week off. They say persistence is the key and so going to start again and try and remain positive.

Thanks again.

[Doobie]

There are a lot of us nervous riders out there, Mandy! I'm slowly getting over my nerves too, I find that if I start tensing up I do deep-breathing exercises! also I try to think positively and put some trust in my horse, if we get to a situation where my horse stops dead to look at something, instead of thinking "OMG what is he going to do" I make myself say "its OK, there's nothing nasty out there" and nudge him on forward (and its more to tell me I think!) I guess I just have a fear of losing control. I also had loads of lessons, hundreds of them! I found that helped me. As said above, you can try leading out in-hand and long-reining too. It helped my boy get over the fear of an old railway bridge, he always napped there, but leading then long-reining him around the area a few times, and stopping for a nibble of grass and a treat as a reward he got over it.

[Lucymj]

Hi Mandy.......... try this - www.confidentrider.co.uk
Sounds like a load of nonsense but i used the hacking one for less than a week and it was amazing the difference it made to my confidence!

I was REALLY nervous hacking when i tried it and had not hacked out for 6 months - within 3 days was hacking my 4yr old out alone after having him only a week!

[Ryan&Dizzy]

hiya everyone!

im also a nervous rider slowly recovering! im only 17 so really shud still b a youngster having fun and falling off and not caring but in feb i fell off my dads young horse out on the roads (on my own) and had to b taken to hosp. there was no real damage dun other than brusing but i total fell apart every time i went to ride i was having constant 'wot if' thoughts and it had got to the point i was havin panik attacks and crying weneva i got on my horse. my horse is the most sweet natured brute of a thing hes 16hh coloured cob he can get excitable but never silly or unsafe and loves me to bits! but i just cudnt ride him! i have now started schooling him most days for about an hour (the schools not scary it squidges n theres ppl round) and have slowly started hacking again in company! (even cantered the other day) ive only been going on short hacks n trying to avoid lots of road work but were getting there! the ppl at our yard r really gud and always look after me!

i am however having a huge problem with cows ...wen we first got otto cows were the only thing he didnt do he wud half rear and bolt at them. we moved him to a cattle tyard for 6mounths and he is now a star with them. but i still tense up expecting him to b silly! i even started trying to plan routes around the cows which i no is ridiculous!!!

[mandyjasper]

Hi everyone.

Oh god! what do I do. Last Saturday my horse spooked at a log (of all the things) and I came flying off. I have not broken anything (although my doctors said I was very lucky) and spent four days in hospital. I have a very bruised back and hip. All my family are really worried about me and want me to sell Jasper. This would just break my heart. After years of wanting my own horse -I have finally got one - and now I being asked to sell him! I appreciate that I can really hurt myself riding and with two young children that is difficult but I feel like I will lose a piece of myself if I sell him. Don't know what to do for the best. My nerves are now shattered to pieces and I am in two minds about everything at the moment. Any advice would be appreciated!

Thanks

[Louise C]

Hi Mandy - sorry to hear about your fall. I too had a fall off Flynn recently and it really does set you thinking - he freaked out at some fishermen! I haven't got back on yet - more from lack of time than anything else but it's not a good time for it to happen as I can't ride in the field, and of course they are on more hard feed etc so bound to be more spooky than in the summer. Can you ride in an enclosed area, or longline him to get yourself confident again?

All the best, unfortunately horses are unpredictable and flight animals, so don't beat yourself up about any decision you do make.

[lucitania]

I find that the following techinque can help: when you get your horse on the yard, decide that you are going to start by by getting from the mounting block to that lamp post 20 yards away. Look at the post, sit up really tall with shoulders wide open and RIDE FOR THE POST. I mean just walk, but really go for it in your mind like your life depended on it! Once you reach the post, pick up another target another 20 yards away, and go for it in the same manner. All you have to do is makes sure that you sit reeeally tall and ride with your seat and focus your mind and eyes on your target- your horse is less likely to hesitate if he senses that you have a real purpose. Also, riding with a purpose can make you seem confident in the horse's, therefore he can find confidence from you. And all you are allowed to think about is getting to your target (imagine thirsty man approaching oasis or something)- obviously do keep an eye on traffic etc. - hopefully, thinking and riding this way you will eventually forget to worry about IF your horse is going to spook or be silly. I promise you, once you get used to this 'faked confidence' you will suddenly realize that you have not been worrying about what MIGHT happen and the horse has actually been very good!

Mandy, sorry to hear about your fall, I hope you won't get into a mental state about it. I have found it helpful to see a friend of mine ride her very young and spooky TB -she actually rears when scared!- and see her fall off all the time, without injuries. (the horse sort of rears 'slowly' and my friend just slides down, hard to explain, she has never been thrown off with force) She simply catches the horse and gets back on- she just says that the horse rears because she is scared and it is not the horse's fault. It sounds weird, but it sort of makes me feel that 'hey, falling off doesn't have to be the end of the world'. (I hope that makes sense) Anyway, What happened when the horse spooked at the log? Are we talking about a full-blown rodeo, reversing into a ditch, that sort of thing? Or did the horse simply leap to one side, all for legs off the ground etc? (Obviously you did take quite a fall to end up in a hospital) I am just asking, because if the horse just had a little leap, and you came off, then perhaps that would be something you could fix as your riding improves? You could say to your family that the horse is not dangerous, you just need to sit a bit better. (I don't know what your riding abilities are, I am not exactly a pro either, haa-haa) And if this was the case, then I would invest in lessons and really work on my seat and balance. I hope that you can get on your horse again, but I can understand that now you worry if it might happen again. Perhaps if you got back on and had some lunge lesson, learned to ride with your arms stretched out etc? I bet you would have a new found confidence in your seat after that! (I also bet that I would come down in about a split second doing that...)