I've not got this issue - I'm not maternal AT ALL. At the age of 26 have never held a baby and have no desire to. My OH is on the same wavelength so whilst marriage is something we have discussed, our family will only be us and 4 legged, hairy children!
If you getting your bike license is important to him, get it if it's what you want too. Not sure what stage you're at but cbt is extremely easy to get and then direct access shouldn't take long with a good instructor. Maybe he just wants to enjoy more freedom with you before being tied down by a child? If nothing else, go on a nice ride out/away for a nice romantic weekend together and then bring it up again!
See, I told you I wasn't maternal - I'm more interested in getting you on a bike than advising about kids!!
Lol me getting my licence isn't important to him... He just knows it's something on my todo list so thought it was a safe delay tactic!
I already have my cbt, but needed to build up my confidence so got myself a nice little 125cc which has really helped. I will sell that next year to pay for my direct access, and he's buying a bike from a friend from me that needs doing up a bit so an absolute steal!
I've just had my first baby aged 36. I thought I'd missed the boat with kids, especially when I got divorced, but then met Mark and he was actually the one to bring up the idea of having kids together - although I'd thought the same thing, I hadn't mentioned it in case I scared him off, lol! We were very lucky to get pregnant within a year of trying (twice actually, although first was ectopic and went undiagnosed for two months... Amazingly managed to get pregnant again despite only having one working tube).
I would say wait until you are BOTH happy to start trying. Having a tiny baby is an incredible strain on any relationship, we have only had one argument in 2.5 years together and that was two weeks ago as we were both so tired and drained from the demands of a little one. Mark forgot to replace a dirty nappy with a clean one, I got up to poonami everywhere, and that was the trigger! It's funny now... Kids are a great addition to a strong and happy relationship but will break a weak one, and it's easy for resentment to creep in when you think how little time you now have just as a couple. Having said all that, it's utterly fantastic having a child and watching them grow and develop. If your chap needs a few years before he's ready, be patient, and enjoy the time as a couple. You'll long for it when it's gone!
Totally agree with everything you said there Jenny, and I hope everything is good for you and your little family.
Honestly I'm not looking for tips to persuade OH it's a good idea, and I really do want to wait until he is ready... BUT it's sooooo hard to be patient when you're so happy that it feels natural.
To be honest it's helped me massively just by talking about it-I can't talk to him about it because he'll feel pressurised and that's not fair. Some days I just want to scream because it's so overwhelming! I didn't think I could ever be this happy to be honest, and it's bugging me that I can't just sit back and enjoy the ride without looking for the next thing. That's all my issue though... Don't want to inflict that on my OH!
What a great post from Jenny. Hols, I'm just so glad you've found the right man, it is so blissful to find your prince when you've done all that kissing frogs stuff! You have time on your side, and what will be, will be. Just enjoy it being you and him, without the nappy tsunami and the sleepless nights.
hi just back in the forum and missed most of this post but.... I had a friend who came off the pill to get pregnant with her partner.. he already had kids from his marriage and had said he didn't want anymore. She got pregnant. He stayed with her, they never married don't know if this was because of his religion or not (he was Iranian)he was a pretty self centred bloke, never spent much time with her when they were in the house, always fiddling with his computers (building them) the only thing he did with the baby was feed and change his nappy, never took him out, all that was left to my friend. She stayed with him because she loved him and they were together for 17yrs until he died suddenly. What I'm trying to say is don't get pregnant before he's ready as he might think you did it to trap him, baby should be wanted by both parents, or be prepared to have one or the other.
The truth is, I'd rather be with my horses than with most people. I'd rather scrub buckets than scrub dishes. I'd rather go to a tack shop than go to a shopping mall. I'd Rather clean a stall than clean my house, and I much prefer horse sh** to BULLSH**..