I swear I will kill her one day............let me explain. For the past umpteen years I hve cooked Christmas Day lunch for the family its been as many as 22 people in the past and this year will be no exception. Sister has just left my house and the fact she is still alive and able to walk is a miracle really. I said to her that 'if you want me to cook again this year then I'm going to have to ask that people make a contribution' 'if someone can make bring the starter, of give me the money towards it I will do the main course and then someone bring desserts and and someone else bring the cheeses for the cheeseboard and each bring a bottle of something it would be helpful' She went ballistic, she thinks I'm being mean about all of this..........but as I explained that food and drink for 22 people costs and they all have a present as well..........I try to give them a lovely day. Am I really being unreasonable asking them to contribute? Have sounded out brothers and their partners and they are all happy about the situation and happy to contribute towards the meal as well as one sister in law put it 'can't think why you haven't asked us before now to be honest we always feel guilty about leaving you with the cost of that day'
Ther is a reason I want to make this one an extra special one. Have just found out that my nieces partner has terminal cancer, and while he is well at the moment we all know the score and the outcome............so I want to make this the best Christmas I can for them both. The whole family have clubbed together for their present which is a cruise to be taken before Christmas and then they come straight home to us for CHristmas and I can spoil the pair of them for a few days...........Madam Selfishness doesn't want to be where there is anyone ill and in pain, she says it 'reminds me so much about dad when he was ill I couldn't stand it then thats why I moved out to live at grannys house!' Told her to stay at home if she feels like that, if the rest of us can make it a special time for them then so can she..........she really does make my blood boil sometimes. Thanks God I was only given one stroppy mare of a sister and 5 reasonably lovely brothers
Killing her might be a little over the top, to be honest
In all seriousness, I go to my friends' place for Christmas Day and everyone always chips in with something - I usually do the cheese and wines, and various members of their family do different aspects of the meal. Nobody's ever had to ask, it's just what you do. Not only that, but the venue alternates between one farm and the other. You could always suggest that everyone go to your sister's place instead, just for a change!
I'm sorry to read about your niece's partner; may I suggest you focus entirely on having a brilliant day together and let your sister join in, or not - her choice.
I usually join one of my nieces or nephews for Christmas and ALWAYS take my contribution which will have been agreed with them. I usually provide the turkey and a side of salmon. To expect you too cover the cost for 22 people is very unreasonable. I like James' suggestion!!!
It has been pointed out to her by brothers and my mum that she is the unreasonable one, and that she can come and be welcome or she can stay away .........brothers have to their credit always helped out on the wine front, and mum has in the past helped with the cost of the food, but mum is now 81 and I think her time for helping us is over its our turn to spoil her remaining years.......even her own husband and daughters have expressed their annoyance at her for being so stupid........anyhow am going to make this the best time we can for Alison and James' sake, the poor loves have only been married a few months it really does not seem fair that they are facing this now when they should be planning the rest of their lives together, the whole family is devastated for them both. Two brothers andtheir partners will not be coming for the meal they are spending Christmas Day at respective parents houses and coming over afterwards, and have just been asked if I can squeeze in James parents plus three others friend of daughters with her mum and brother......might need to have another table and a few more chairs so thats its up to 23 now not a lot really.................and yes the Tequila is on standby should I need it!
In am so sorry for them I can't imagine it just having got married myself to be facing that.. .. so unfair and sad I could just cry for them. I hope they have a great time together and that they can stay together as long as humanly possible. Oh I'm so sad and I don't know them so I can't believe how your sister can be like that. Grrrr
Well she apologised albeit unwillingly but it was an apology. She is offering to supply the starter course, I am doing mains, one brother is sorting the desserts and another brother will sort the cheeses out, crackers etc are sorted, and everyone has been instructed they bring a bottle or three.............think mum might have been on the warpath a bit!
Just had a real facer this evening thats put everything into perspective.......Alison has phoned to say that James has taken a turn for the worst and he has been moved into the hospice the drs have told her its days now rather than the weeks we had all hoped for.....everything else has now paled into insignificance ........so now we are all concentrating on Alison and James and trying to make the remaining time they have together as peaceful as possible inthe circumstances........going to be a hard few days is this but harder than anything for Ali........asked her last night if there was anything we could do she said 'find me a cure and give me James for the next 30 years' God I wish I could