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Post by mygirlgmissy on Sept 3, 2013 12:08:23 GMT 1
Hello, I've recently joined IH and am new to this forum, my story is a bit long winded so please bear with me. About 5-6 years ago i bought my first horse, a 16.2hh TB. We had a wonderful partnership and no issues at all. I used to hack out on him on my own, going out for hours and hours, looking back he was perfect However, one day i was poorly but i still went to take him out. For some reason his behaviour really wasn't normal... he wasn't easy to tack up, kept spinning when going to mount him and when i did get to mount him he refused to leave the yard. I should have listened to him and waited until another day, but for some reason i was determined to ride that day. I wasn't feeling my best but for some stupid reason i pushed him on and we went out. We'd not long been out before we encountered a tractor coming up behind us on a narrow, overshadowed lane. He was never too fond of them and started jogging sideways. I saw there was an entrance to a field on my left but the track we were going to was only a few feet away so i pushed him on. We'd just got to the track, tractor still behind us, when a lorry came flying around the corner which made my boy freak out. He spun and reared a few times, both the lorry and tractor kept coming towards us (but a lot slower). Then all of a sudden my boy reared, tried climbing up the verge and fell backwards onto me. Que the ambulances, my horse had to be taken home by the lorry driver, a lot of drama. Luckily i had no injuries, and i went to see my boy that same night and i thought all was well. Kept telling myself it was a freak accident. In the year after that accident, he slowly became more and more unrideable for me to ride. Every check was done... physio, back, teeth etc. He would let anyone else ride him, but with me he'd rear and buck until i came off. We'd also had a few more accidents on the road, when he spooked at things he'd bolt into oncoming traffic. i tried every confidence technique under the sun, but in the end no matter which horse i rode, i wouldn't even trot anywhere i was that scared. I gave him to my friend and quit horses all together. Fast forward to the present, and i have had a couple of loan horses over the last couple of years and my confidence has been slowly rebuilding. I have recently bought a lovely coloured Wesh D x Cob mare, who is pretty perfect for me. I'm happily riding out in company, i still have issues with cantering but am working on that. However, i really want to ride her out on my own as i can only ride in company once a week. She's wonderful in company, she has the odd spook but pretty much perfect. However i was told by prev owner that she does nap and try to rear when on her own. I'm happy handling her when i know am riding out in company, yet on my own am so nervous i start shaking and get the tense knot in my tummy before i even get her out of the field. I tack her up, and she stands to let me mount (sort of) all during which, she is absolutely perfect, never puts a foot wrong. However, i open the gate and she's spinning and trying to rear and go back to the yard. At which point i freak out and try to back out of riding her all together lol. My husband (bless him) is a great support and tells me to not be a baby etc, he's managed to lead us out and once am out i am okay, just extremely aware of any traffic or noise and i cant relax. Its the nerves and the terror of doing it on my own. I'm totally at a loss as to what i can do. Any ideas/insight/advice on what i can do to get over this? Its killing me that i get so scared of riding her on my own. A nice cuppa tea and a biscuit for whoever has sat and read all of my babble
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Post by alonerawnut on Sept 3, 2013 15:38:01 GMT 1
I'd recommend breaking the problem down into tiny steps - work incrementally on your issues and possibly your horse's. Don't push yourself and your mare into situations where you're going to be terrrified of what's going to happen next - you might be getting to ride more often, but it's going to be no fun if you and your mare are stressed out.
So: what small steps could you take first? When you ride out in company, can you let the other horse get gradually further away? Either you go off in front or they do, go just out of sight round a corner, take a different turning and then go back to each other? Start when you're out, in a safe place and gradually start to introduce it when you're leaving the gate: can the other horse go out, you wait a minute or so and then you go out? Reward your mare for staying calm and distract her with groundwork if she starts to get anxious. Go back to leaving together if she gets really stressed.
When you're going out by yourself, with your husband on foot, start to get further away from him, in safe places first. Try to distract yourself by focusing on controlling your speed, maybe pick a gateway or lamppost you'll stop by.
How's your mare if you lead her on a hack? If you've got good control from the ground and if you're ok with it, you could lead her out by yourself as a first step to riding out alone. I ride a tricky cob and my backup plan when out riding and something scary happens is to jump off and lead, because I know I've got good control of him from the ground and he trusts me. I lead off the dually with a 12' line, so he can leap about if something stresses him and I can stand clear and stay calm until I can get close to him again.
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Post by jill on Sept 3, 2013 16:44:01 GMT 1
Can you find a sympathetic experienced rider to see how she goes for him/her? That will give you a handle on whether or not she is picking up on your nerves, to start with. And if she does behave in a similar way, it could well genuinely be nerves hat she needs a confident rider to help her overcome. Spook busting and maybe some magnesium oxide in case it is a case of magnesium deficiency leading to adrenaline overload would be the way to go, and ground work so she can gain confidence in and respect for you. Either way, you won't be happy riding her until you know she has come to terms with whatever is making her so worried, and if you are nervous, she will know and reckon there is something to be nervous about. Can you ride her in a school or a confined part of the field, to get confidence in her and she in you - basic schooling, so you know she is responsive and she knows you are in charge. Milk and two sugars please
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Post by lesleyking1 on Sept 3, 2013 21:40:32 GMT 1
You've had awful past experiences and I think you are doing really well, try to congratulate yourself for smaller achievements, perhaps you haven't left your horrors behind enough yet. I am sure with the progress you've made you will get yourself back up to speed.
Great ideas above and I totally agree, getting off when out on the roads in tricky situations is really the best thing to do; safest and your Mare wont be feeding off you're anxieties.
All this lovely late summer sunshine, have you got any lovely quiet lanes you can just go off with her in hand, just to get out on you're own with her for a chilled bonding?
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Post by laddiesmum on Sept 4, 2013 8:56:07 GMT 1
Hi I really understand where you are coming from as my biggest problem is riding out which stemmed from an unpleasant traffic accident years ago. I have found that if I slow everything down and literally work out what I find is in my comfort zone, this is where I can always go to if things get to scary for me and then I try and slowly attempt to stretch my zone so for instance I used to get anxious walking out in hand on the road. So I did (and still do) groundwork safely in my school, then out in the field and then out onto the road. Whenever I found myself getting anxious out I would stop and let him have a nibble of grass so I could relax and breathe and then carry on. It has really worked not just for me but for him as I realised I would rush and worry him. I also have him on a long line (12ft) and I don't hold tightly (which I used to do).
I have a couple of times ridden out. And I just stop and breathe and then carry on if anxious or I get off if I realise I have pushed myself too far.
I do lots of spookbusting at home to ask him to listen to me and I have noticed when walking out he will turn to me if he is worried.
I am taking my time and I must say I really enjoy walking him in hand as we get to spend time together safely.
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Post by ruthp on Sept 4, 2013 14:11:31 GMT 1
Sound like you've already made huge progress, so start by giving yourself some credit for just how far you've come.
My story isn't dissimiliar to yours - I was physically sick before gettin on board sometimes - and now (four years on) I am happily enjoying hacking out alone. I've had setbacks on the way, but I was always determined, as you patently are, to get through it
Firstly, stick with what you're doing - hack out in sympathetic company as often as you can. The more you and your horse see and do together, the more faith you will have in her. Have some lessons if you can in order to improve the communication and confidence with your horse, and ask your instructor to deliberately push you a little out of your comfort zone. Not a lot, just a little. This will help when you push yourself, as you will have less of an adrenaline reaction if you are more used to being a bit uncomfortable. It all helps.
And then, as has already been suggested, get someone to go on foot with you. My husband took me round the village on a lead rope. There I was, 40-something years old on a beautiful quiet cob, being led round the village. But I needed that security, and I don't care what anyone else thinks. Just 10 minutes to start with. Gradually you will find that you are less and less anxious about going out alone, and then one day you'll just feel confident enough to do a very short ride by yourself. Maybe after a schooling session, when you know your horse is listening.
But critically, if you are feeling really anxious, don't try, because you'll make your horse anxious too. Give yourself time to build up some resistance to your anxiety!
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Post by ruthp on Sept 4, 2013 14:44:23 GMT 1
By the way, if that's Gypsy in the photo, she looks gorgeous!
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Post by laddiesmum on Sept 6, 2013 13:27:08 GMT 1
Excellent advice RuthP. Wish my husband would come out with me!
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nomdeac
Intermediate Poster
Posts: 177
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Post by nomdeac on Sept 6, 2013 20:17:10 GMT 1
If you have a kindle buy Cathy Sirretts confidence blog. It's excellent and has really helped me to gain confidence in the saddle after a life time of fear. It's specifically for riders and gives you techniques to manage your unconfidence well. Good luck and I think your really brave to keep trying
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Post by mygirlgmissy on Sept 10, 2013 11:18:49 GMT 1
Thank you all so much for your kind replies! I asked my YO to try Gypsy out and she rode while i followed on foot, Gypsy reared and bronced at the gate but once pushed on she was okay, although if she didnt get her own way she'd rear and reverse. My YO said that she responded well to her voice and calm positive riding. I know that when gypsy gets insecure she goes up and backwards and that a calm voice, clear direction and a knack for pre-empting it before it happens really helps. Have done a lot of groundwork with her, when i first bought her in April she hadnt been ridden in a year so have been working her slowly and building her trust, so am continuing that with her. She's awesome tolead, she trusts me and i trust her enough to put my 11yr old novice daughter on her while i lead her so am leading her out a lot more and introducing her to new things. Its not just her nerves though, its my own and i know if i can work through them then we'll be fine. Its just hard to bite the bullet and just do it. Have invested in some Rescue Remedy so hoping that will help lol. My hubby loves the idea of leading me so am gettig him to do that a bit more too. I feel its definitely a work in progress but every ride is boosting my confidence a little. I love her to bits and i want to be the best mummy and rider for her. Oh and yes, thats gypsy in my profile pic pretty girly
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Post by lesleyking1 on Sept 11, 2013 14:42:29 GMT 1
I'm absolutely sure you will sort it out, I think your chain of thought is spot on. I am thinking while reading that it's wonderful this little horse has given you something that you can work on with Hubby (that's if he is anything like mine and would rather watch the Footy)
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Post by mygirlgmissy on Jan 29, 2014 23:56:25 GMT 1
Hi folks! I thought i'd update you all and reply to this thread instead of starting another. Have taken everybody's advice and have gone back to walking in hand and lots of groundwork. Still haven't managed to ride her out on my own yet, the rearing thing is still quite worrying me. Well, a lot has happened since my last post. I have moved Gypsy closer to home, so that was an upheaval for us both. For a week or so i was worried all of our hard work and training had been forgotten but she soon came around. Once she had settled in I paid a professional rider to come ride her out on her own for me, apparently Gypsy is fine on her own but she does try to spin and rear when she isnt sure of something. She isnt napping as she does it on her way home too. The lady soon stopped riding her when Gypsy took offence at some leaves and threw a big rear, unseating the lady. She vowed never to come ride her again and said i was wasting my time with Gypsy, she would never hack out on her own :/ Even more determined to do it now, nobody says nasty things about my girly!
Our new yard is situated in a small town, with some busy roads, as opposed to the nice small quiet village we were in before. Last week i took her out (in company) along the busiest road onto the local bridleway. Soon realised it was rush hour and all of the school buses were on their way back to depot so along the way we were met with four large coaches, a double decker bus, a couple of lorries and some really stupidly fast cars. Gypsy had a moment at the first coach where she stopped and i felt she was going to spook and she turned her ear onto me. I had a momentary heart attack, my mind froze and i mentally started panicking HOWEVER something made me squeeze her on and talk to her and she was instantly calmed down. After that first coach she was an angel and didn't tense once at anything else. Once we made it off the road i gave her huge hugs and lots of praise and i realised that, deep down, i do have it in me to fight my panicking. Then she spooked and leapt sideways because a wheelie bin had its lid open, the silly girl.
Today i had someone come out to give me a lesson on how to long rein her, (i can long rein but only on horses that know how to do it, Gypsy had no idea.) It didnt start well, she reared/span and seemed rather irritated by the whole idea but she soon started working lovely with a little patience. Now, it turns out she works well on the right rein but she isnt so well on the left so have been left with some homework to do some light schooling on her left rein (apparently this is a common problem?) and i'm to start off riding small circles in the yard with all gates shut. That is my goal, if and when this awful weather clears up at all this week. I can't wait to be able to come back and post saying i've done it, have ridden her out on her own and we were both wonderful.
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Post by alonerawnut on Jan 30, 2014 10:21:48 GMT 1
Wow, you should be hugely proud of yourself for riding out in scary traffic and overcoming your panic like that - it obviously made a huge difference to Gypsy! Long-reining is great for spotting things like her stiffer rein and you should be able to do some interesting obstacle-course / L-shape / S-shape stuff to keep her entertained, whilst technically doing boring strengthening / suppling work! Now you've moved somewhere different, little walks out in-hand are a perfect starting point to get you both familiar with the area. Then you can add in short sections of riding, in safe places, and then dismount before you get somewhere scary, so hopefully you won't have too many moments where you have to be really brave!
I'd be worried about the rearing thing too, so if you can be confident from the ground, that's exactly where Gypsy needs you to be until you're both more settled. Adding in a little bit of mounting practice here and there, not even getting on to start with: just practicing standing still with you standing on a rock or a low wall or something, will mean that before you know it you're doing lots of little bits of riding by yourselves with no bother at all!
Laura
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Post by jacksmum on Jan 30, 2014 14:48:39 GMT 1
I so know where you are coming from with this. I had a very similar situation re the accident event. When walking out in hand I have the problem that my horse 16.1hh anxious tb spins round (and boy he can spin). Would the recommendation be to allow him to move his feet whenever he does this as opposed to keeping him at my shoulder as Monty advocates when using the dually. At present I've been using a rope halter (plus bridle) to give me more control but I seem to constantly have a fight on my hands - which I hate tbh. He does suffer separation anxiety quite badly but this is what I really need to cure before I can hack him out on his own. At the moment I'm way too scared to get back on to him as he's such a handful. What would you recommend. I've ridden my whole life usually on really anxy types but this one has knocked my confidence into touch.
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Post by alonerawnut on Jan 31, 2014 9:25:30 GMT 1
The anxious cob I shared back in the UK would do a very similar thing: when he got anxious, he would start to canter circles around you. We always led in the dually (with a bridle over the top for insurance purposes, but never used).
If we felt Harry starting to get agitated, a couple of firm pulls on the rope, followed by a release and a loose rope, would help to keep his attention but not add to the stress by holding on tightly to the line with a constant pressure. What he needed was calm, firm leadership. If the scary thing got more scary or something came up suddenly and he got really stressed, before he could start to circle round, we would give him some firm direction with the dually to direct that energy away from the scary thing / in the direction we wanted to go.
I think when your boy gets that burst of adrenalin, there's no way you could keep him still, but allowing him to spin puts both you and him in a dangerous place. What we tried to do with Harry was direct that energy in the direction we wanted to go and then used all our calming techniques: loose line, deep breathing, head-lowering, a couple of firm tugs on the line if he was going off into 'Harry Land' to keep his focus on us. That way you have the best of both worlds: keeping his head near you and you're the one directing where his feet go. It's taken a long time and a lot of groundwork and leading practice, but now when Barbara takes Harry out, if he does get stressed or spooked by something, she can direct that burst of energy and he calms right back down again really quickly.
I have no experience of rope haters, but I do know that the dually was very good, even when using the kind of strong pressure you sometimes have to use to keep in control in a dangerous situation, because it never slipped too far round or dug into Harry's face. We definitely saw the benefit of being able to quickly release the pressure.
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