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Post by julz on Feb 22, 2012 11:58:17 GMT 1
A frog goes into a bank ...... and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack .
" Miss Whack , I’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
(folks, you're gonna luv this)
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone."
(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are.......)
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Post by Serenbean & Justine on Feb 22, 2012 15:22:38 GMT 1
LOL Julz, smiling but not singing
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Post by jamesb on Feb 22, 2012 17:59:30 GMT 1
Nice one Julz! Here's another for you…… A Scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job." The man behind the counter replied "Your timing is amazing. We've just got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The salary package is £200,000 a year." The Scouser said "Come 'ed mate, you're bullshitting me!" The man behind the counter said "Well you started it!" ;D
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natty
Olympic Poster
Posts: 652
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Post by natty on Feb 22, 2012 18:33:10 GMT 1
Julz that is great I was singing it :-) Jamesb I have heard that one before and still don't get it (blonde moment) :-)
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Post by jamesb on Feb 22, 2012 18:37:56 GMT 1
Some quickies………
Q. What do you call a 27 year old Liverpool girl? A. Granny.
Q. What do you call a Liverpool girl in a white tracksuit? A. The bride. Q. What does a Liverpool girl use as protection during sex? A. A bus shelter.
Q. There are two Liverpool girls in a car without any music - who is driving? A. The policeman..
Q. What's the most confusing day in Liverpool ? A. Father's day
Q. How do people know Jesus wasn't born in Liverpool ? A. You try finding 3 wise men and a virgin there!
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Post by julz on Feb 22, 2012 22:05:09 GMT 1
I don't think James likes Scousers??
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Post by jamesb on Feb 22, 2012 23:47:43 GMT 1
Au contraire, Julz — I think Scousers are some of the best and friendliest people around. It's just that I got some of these on an email and thought I would use them.
After all, I am an LFC fan, so…… ;D
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Post by Serenbean & Justine on Feb 23, 2012 22:20:00 GMT 1
Why? PSML
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Post by jamesb on Feb 23, 2012 23:30:55 GMT 1
Anyway……… A Liverpool girl enters an adult shop and asks for a vibrator. The man says: "Choose one from our range on the wall." She says "I'll take that red one." The man replies: "That's a fire extinguisher!"
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Post by Serenbean & Justine on Feb 24, 2012 21:09:45 GMT 1
indeedy
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Post by jules26 on Mar 1, 2012 22:35:41 GMT 1
oh, how i chuckled at these little quips!! PMSL
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Post by jamesb on Mar 2, 2012 23:31:12 GMT 1
Today's word is................ FluctuationsI was at my bank today; there was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for pounds. It was obvious she was a little irritated; She asked the teller "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat poun' fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says "Fluc you white people too!"
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Post by bevnfurryfriends on Mar 27, 2012 1:21:16 GMT 1
I love all these, ROFL.....
My favourite joke of all time 'How do you know if an elephant is in bed with you? Cuz he has an 'E' on his pyjama pocket'
I can't help having a very silly sense of humour..... LOL
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Post by jamesb on Apr 1, 2012 22:35:02 GMT 1
Nothing wrong with that; Wizzikins is exactly the same LOL
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Post by gwenoakes on Apr 5, 2012 22:48:20 GMT 1
All very good and made me chuckele. I sung along as well Julz, LOL
Hi Bevnfurryfriends, welcome aboard.
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